File: It's Not That Bad I'm Just Awful.swf-(3.78 MB, 500x570, Loop)
[_] Anon 3489664 Question for degens, did you ever get better. If so, how? Anyway enjoy another one fresh out of the oven.
>> [_] Anon 3489667 Not really I'm just pretty much emotionally and dead and my dopamine receptors are so fried I can barely feel sexual arousal anymore
>> [_] Anon 3489684 I am getting better. It takes an understanding of why we do what we do and seeing the consequences and down fall of it all. Drinking and jerking off waste energy and achieve nothing for me. So I look into why I do it and fight back. What anime?
>> [_] Anon 3489694 >># tanaka-kun is always listless
>> [_] Anon 3489698 This
>> [_] Anon 3489699 >># Thanks for this, anon. I don't drink (I seriously don't think I ever will), but I do smoke weed and oh god you don't wanna know the kind of porn I was once very into Really, it was a downward spiral into more depraved and soul-destroying porn, wasting away meanwhile, until I did a round of nootropics (notably, two weeks of daily combined cerebrolysin and cortexin injections), followed by LSD, and eventually psilocybin microdoses in three-day intervals. A year into the microdosing, I started using weed. I was 23 when I injected the nootropics, and ever since that time, I started genuinely looking up. Not a lot at first. It was very slow to start—but I was always trying. (i also had mercury poisoning, and used a chelator called emeramide to treat that—that stuff is really uniquely life-saving, if the time comes where you need a heavy metal chelator that doesn't both destroy your body and take forever to work) Aside from everything, I think I was just really, really, really depressed. It took me a long time to let go of the past. There's a lot of obvious stuff in my life I could lament on—it's especially fortunate that weed's really helpful when it comes to allowing other things to grab, and keep my attention. Compared to a year ago, I have a great job. I have a driver's license, and a car I can drive. I have ample personal space. There's miles between me and any of my family members, except for my sister (one of the few strong enough to be worth caring about). I don't have as much money as I did a year or even two years ago (started trading crypto in 2017), but I have more than just reason to be optimistic—I have sheer determination to do the right thing, and patience to do it. I have a plan. And it's a very good one. (Assuming I can learn how to follow any of it.) (I still degen, all the time. it doesn't consume me. perhaps, some day, it won't be my go-to hobby. that, or i'll find a way to turn it into a weapon against lethargy. i'll make it healthy.)
>> [_] Anon 3489700 Define "better". Getting more into what normies considers "degenerate"?
>> [_] Anon 3489703 Ty everyone for appreciating my flash. It's rare that any of the shit I bake does numbers at all. >># I really liked your story, it kinda gives me a bit of hope I suppose. >># Idk, my version of degeneracy is really just being an awful awful person overall. It seems like everything I enjoy is wrong and everything I do is wrong.
>> [_] Anon 3489705 >># Being an awful person how? Its all about perspective man. Do you enjoy hurting people or some shit like that? Or do you just enjoy things other people find strange. Smoking weed and jacking off to weird porn isn't hurtin anyone else there's no need to feel bad about it. Find what makes you happy and enjoy it for what little time we have Unless you're a furry. Then you should yiff in hell
>> [_] Anon 3489708 I've managed to backpedal out of some of the shit I used to like or think but ultimately I just slowed the downward spiral. It's going clockwise instead of counterclockwise now, and I'm not going to hit the ground as fast or as hard, but it's going down and I still haven't figured out how to pull out of the spin. I had a big paragraph written here I've decided is retarded. This has been a good reminder that I was supposed to look for a therapist this week. I should get to that. I will say that if you partake in more and more degenerate things, and you recognize them as degenerate, you should really ween yourself off of it and try to find less degen activities/hobbies until you get out completely. If you're a coomer, then for porn, I just started cutting entire topics out of the picture. If you struggle to fap at first, that's fine. Eventually you will naturally be able to get the job done on the lightest of material the more days pass. The more you fap to a certain kind of thing, the more you'll come to enjoy it, like a reverse system. I've never done drugs (not even weed) so I have no frame of reference for that problem. I do have a mild alcohol problem but for the past few weeks I haven't been able to bring myself to drink despite wanting to. Not sure why that is. If you're a furry or are in a group that does illegal things or generally seeks the pain of true innocents (animals, children) then you should start getting quiet in those groups for awhile until you can slip away unnoticed.
>> [_] Anon 3489709 no it never gets better im just waiting for something to kill me
>> [_] Anon 3489712 My life is theoretically the best it's ever been overall. Yet I'm not happy. That's life. I've made such progress from where I was 10 years ago, and I really don't know how I would even live if I was still in that position. I am grateful for where I am, but that doesn't make me happy, or even satiate me. To be human is to want. No matter how far you get, you'll still want.
>> [_] Anon 3489713 yes, because I'm starting to understand that it never goes away and it's a part of me now.