File: Boomhauer - Dust in the Wind.swf-(3.6 MB, 352x288, Loop)
[_] Read Comment. Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)15:38:13 No.3188150
About 3-4 years ago this was posted a lot. At that time i thought my life was pretty terrible.
Lost a couple jobs in a year, went unemployed for many months living with my parents. I was 19-20
at the time. I thought well i can only go up from here, aside from living on the streets. I even
slept in the garage for a night.
Come 3 years later i got a decent job. Working at popular hardware store for a year. I thought i
was on the road to becoming a hardworking normalfag with a house and a wife. Maybe even some kids.
Then schizophrenia hit. I heard voices, saying things about me. At first i thought i was insane,
which is fine and dandy. Eventually i heard things that i could not get over. All day, anything i
think it is repeated back to me. Most times i can hear it, sometimes i can't. However sometimes
there are original thoughts that could not have been produced in my head. One day i thought it
was about 1:30. The only original thing i heard all day that was not a direct repeat of my own
thoughts was 2:40. I conciously thought "wow if i find a clock and it is 2:40 i will freak the
fuck out". I did, 2:40 on the money. I punched the ground so hard. I was JUST getting over all of
this, believing it was just in my head.
For a number of months i began to believe somebody, somewhere was reading my every thought
remotely. I'm still on the fence about this. I really hope it can't be real. I am a man of logic,
believing in this makes me feel sick. Very sick, even physically so. I have heard things that my
mind could not have known ahead of time. Things spelled wrong that i thought 100% were spelled
right. Things such as that. 99% of you will think i am insane for believing even the slightest
bit of this. I hope you are right. Really if you asked me 9 months ago, if i read this very post
9 months ago i would assume whoever wrote it was insane. I'd assume that he just saw the clock
beforehand and didnt remember.
Marked for deletion (old).
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)15:48:28 No.3188153
>>3188150
cool story, bro
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)15:49:35 No.3188154
>>3188150
Continued -
Not sure what else to say about this. What i typed in the first post is just a very, very, VERY
summarized account of what has happend and why i believe such illogical things. This has costed
me hundreds of dollars, oppourtunities ruined, i am emotionally traumatized.
As an example, in the beginning i thought this wasnt so bad. As time went on i "rationalized"
this. I would much rather lose my left leg than deal with this insanity. At this point both legs
would even be worth it. If anyone said "ok chop of your dick and nads and it will be over" i
would immediately jump in the car and drive to the hospital to get them removed. And i fap like a
god damn champion all of the time. Hundreds of gigs of porn. I know you guys understand.
Moral of the story? Enjoy what you have. If this goes away i have made a pact to devote my life
to chairity. I used to feel down, I used to think "man will i even make enough ever to even
support a condo and a cat when im older?". If i were not insane i would do everything over.
Really the wolrd is your oyster guys. You can do great things. If this goes away i have
absolutely zero doubt that i will attain such goals. And then some. Supporting a home will be
peanuts compared to what i would accomplish if i didnt have mental problems. But all logic says
this will never go away. I dont know if i am a man of logic anymore though.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)15:50:49 No.3188155
>>3188153
OP here, you are doing gods work. You are the last of the mohicans
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)15:56:44 No.3188160
>>3188150
>>3188154
Sounds like you need a good dose of a japanese man telling you to never give up.
And a doctor. They're there for a reason. The mind does some crazy stuff no one understands, but
there is help.
In any case, thanks for the posi vibes.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)16:08:43 No.3188164
I hope you can move on in the best possible way.
If you wanna believe in something, OP, believe in people's innate goodness. That should help you
strive for your goals to do charity work.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)16:11:32 No.3188168
>>3188150
I'm just curious, where are you from OP?
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)16:12:18 No.3188169
>>3188154
If it makes you feel better, I went through a similar thing once.
I felt like I could hear other peoples thoughts and/or they could hear my mental speech, at the
time I had mental turrets, so it was kind of awkward. For no reason I would swear at people in my
head, and I felt as if they could hear it.
Hmm- . . .
It was a weird time.
Socializing became kind of hard, but eventually it went away, kinda.
I feel that if you embrace your life, and view it with a climactic twist, it might make you enjoy
the nice things existence has to offer.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)16:35:54 No.3188175
>>3188150
>>3188154
Remember that your brain is nothing but an organic computer. One that wasn't ever programmed
properly. Everything that is 'you' runs on this chemical computer.
How many times has your real life computer fucked up? Bluescreened, screwed up, deleted your
files and generally fucked itself. Now why wouldn't something far more complicated do the same?
The difference is when your brain fucks up it does stuff like this. It makes you believe things
that aren't true or are illogical, and it can do this so easily because its your brain. The thing
you use to understand the world is faulty, so you have to take its conclusions with a massive
grain of salt.
You might see coincidences or results that seem to 'prove' something illogical right. But you're
examining everything with the same faulty brain, so relax and remind yourself that you need
objective judgment to verify these sorts of things.
You have to remember there's no shame in this. Its not your fault that your brain randomly fucked
up its chemical balance and decided to start causing you problems anymore than its your fault
you've had a sudden allergical reaction or a sudden skin rash. The effects are just worse.
Trust me on this. Hell, i once saw an elderly lady with a relatively mild infection punch out a
carer. She'd been running a high fever, and in that state she'd gotten confused. Her brain
malfunctioned under the circumstances, triggered her fight or flight response and the result was
a kindly septuagenarian grandmother tried to kick ass while screaming like a banshee.
Afterwards she barely believed she'd done it. No one else would have if they hadn't seen it. She
was embarassed to say the least.
People's grip on reality is more tenuous than we realise. The organ that grants us higher thought
is more vulnerable than we like to admit.
See a medical professional if you haven't already, try as many drugs as you can to deal with your
condition.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)16:42:35 No.3188176
>>3188175
Psychoactive drugs get a bad rap, and its admittedly true that due to the immensive complexity of
the brain they can be very hit and miss. They're sort of like trying to solve an issue with your
car by giving it a really big kick in the front. It's not always gonna solve the problem, and its
pretty nonspecific. But its still worth a shot.
But overall, just try to keep calm and remember that all medical problems are in the end, purely
physical. It doesn't reflect badly on you as a person, it doesn't make you 'crazy' anymore than
the guy with the heavy concussion is 'slow'. It just makes you a guy who's suffering from a
health condition.
Keep optimistic. Keep realistic. Use the medical resources you have available, and make sure to
explain it to those around you in the same way. Explain to them that you've got a chemical
imbalance that makes your act weird sometimes, answer their questions and keep calm about it all
as best as you can. You've got your own problems, they likely have their own too, and once you
get over the awkwardness and hopefully show them that you're a patient or a sufferer rather than
a lunatic, answer their questions and try to help them understand.
If everyone treated mental health like this, without resorting immediately to massive stigma,
people who do suffer from such things would probably have a far easier time of it all.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)17:58:05 No.3188201
>>3188154
Anon you have a chemical imbalance in your brain.
See
A
Doctor
-
you can do this for free and some Depakote will probably calm you down. Try a number of things
until the voices go away but you also don't feel like shit.
Seriously, do this tomorrow. Skip work.
If you don't do this tomorrow I wll know and I will make anything that is green sing to you. I
have this power and am not afraid to use it.
Get help, you are so close to sanity.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)17:58:05 No.3188202
>>3188160
I hate you and everyone like you. Go to the doctor, you say, not knowing what it's like to face
medical bankruptcy for a simple ER visit.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)18:01:52 No.3188205
>>3188202
I see a therapist at a clinic that is free. You have to fill out a bitchload of forms but they
will see you, and at most it costs like 240 if you don't have insurance. At the very least go to
a clinic and ask who you can talk to about this, they can give you some phone numbers.
If you are in the US get obamacare, literally free psychiatry.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)19:07:05 No.3188234
>>3188150
You think that's tough?
Try suffering from telekinesis, that's a real bitch.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)19:34:37 No.3188244
Ignoring the mental health aspect.
Which belief is more likely to be true:
1. You have developed precognition and thus proven that reality is deterministic and as such no
one has free will
or
2. You are backfilling your memory to fit the reality you live in to the presumptions in your
mind.
A test to figure out if the first one is true is to type out/write a number that you believe a
RNG will land on and then run the RNG.
10 individual rolls of 100 sided dice should be enough for a quick and dirty experiment like this.
Remember that your mind is fallible. Reality is not.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)20:16:50 No.3188257
>>3188168
Downingtown PA
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)20:21:46 No.3188261
this song makes me cri every time i hear.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)20:42:34 No.3188268
Yo, OP, lemme tel you a story.
About 3 years ago (2013) I got engaged. Then, a year later (2014), things went to the shits.
Broke up, my world was falling apart. Truely a terrible year. I then met another girl (2015). She
was like a beacon. We got to talking, things got intense, then she disappeared on me (new years
2016).
I put immense stress on myself. Twitching and headaches. I though i was just having nervous
breakdowns. Then, i started getting dizzy and my face got all numb. Everyone telling me its
vertigo. But from what? I'm not afraid of heights or anything. I was a trade carpenter. Swinging
trusses for a living.
Took my ass to the hospital, got in touch with a neurologist. Turns out i have Multiple
Sclerosis. Scary sounding disease. Even scarier when you learn that there's no cure not a
treatment.
Basically up a shit-creek without a paddle...not raft.
Dizzy, puking, head hurt all the time. Couldnt walk. My taste buds got worse. I couldn't taste
chocolate anymore (that actually broke my heart)
But you know what: fuck MS. Fuck being useless. Fuck people telling you about statistics and how
you may or may not get back to normal. And fuck not being able to taste chocolate. Seriously.
I picked my ass up with the help of family and friends. In 2 months got my ass back to work,
still spinning dizzy and face numb. But i gave 0 fucks.
2 months later, symptoms subsided. Then i confronted the girl whom lit my world. Turns out she
though i wasn't interested in her (which i very much was). Grabbed her by the hand and wouldn't
let go.
Asked her to marry me.
She said yes.
Here I am, less than a year later, just started an awesome job, 50k a year sitting in an office
fixing computers (my passion), beautiful girl and ready to kick whatever obstacle gets in my way.
Just get up and do something about it. And if the voices in your head tell you otherwise, flip
them the biggest bird you can muster up.
You got this anon
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)20:47:21 No.3188271
>>3188257
>Downington
Goddamn OP, get the fuck out of that depressing-sounding city
Downington? Are you fucking serious?
Move to Uppington or something.
>> [_] Anonymous 12/12/16(Mon)21:12:03 No.3188283
>>3188150
Man, I'm 19 right now, turning 20 in a few weeks, Western Australian btw, our state is a shithole
right now, unemployment is at 6.7% higher than the national rate, 91,000 people out of work, and
of that 11.5% youth unemployment.
I lost a good job I had 6 months ago, it was my first real taste of unemployment, then I dropped
out of Uni 2 months later, I got a new shitty cafe job a month ago but it's not going so well.
However, got some good news yesterday, event staff shift, a new job opportunity, and I won a
small amount on lotto.
Btw, can you americans really afford to leave home early? I'm 19 and not earning anywhere near
enough, not to mention housing in perth is hideously expensive right now.
