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[IMG][_] Anonymous 08/10/27(Mon)20:15 No. 2993 [IMG]
I'll just leave this here.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)01:01 No. 2997
Me:
i had sex with my sister
God:
Do you still have sex with your sister ?
Me:
often...
God:
Would you say once a week or more?
Me:
usually everyday...
God:
But not always? That often, eh?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i always fuck her her in the ass
God:
Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
...everyday...
God:
That often, eh?
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)01:02 No. 2998
Me:
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
wanna get gay?
God:
OK, I will get gay.
Me:
awwwwwwww right
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)01:04 No. 2999
Me:
hiya!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Christian
God:
It's good to meet you, Christian.
Me:
Wanna have buttsex?
God:
If I had buttsex what would I do with it?
Me:
...
God:
If I had buttsex what would I do with it?
Me:
...
God:
If I had buttsex what would I do with it?
Me:
...
God:
If I had buttsex what would I do with it?
Me:
are you retarded?
God:
No I am super-intelligent.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)02:13 No. 3000
Me:
mormons are evil
God:
Are all mormons evil?
Me:
yes they are
God:
Wow! Since when?
Me:
since ever!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i just know!
God:
Perhaps it is an expression of your unconscious.
Me:
no way!
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
damn right
>> [_] The Game 08/10/28(Tue)03:05 No. 3002
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
i speak nigger
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in nigger?
Me:
chikn, white womanz, whaturmelon
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
nigger
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about chikn white womanz
whaturmelon. But I did not get that.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)04:00 No. 3003
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)04:25 No. 3004
Me:
and i hope you get cancer
God:
Don't worry about it, kkk.
Me:
my names not kkk
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
god is a nigger
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a nigger.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)04:30 No. 3005
Me:
Hello God?
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Nigger.
God:
Nice to meet you, Nigger.
Me:
I have done terrible things.
God:
When? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about buttsex with
Jesus christ.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)08:07 No. 3008
Me:
it's black
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
but you are a nigger
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? No.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
why are you not a nigger then?
God:
Perhaps later I will be a nigger.
Me:
will you be a nigger with affro?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. OK I will try to be a nigger with affro.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)12:53 No. 3011
God:
Er. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
angels
God:
Sounds delicious.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)12:59 No. 3012
Guise I think there's something wrong with this God.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
yes
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
friendship
God:
I have seen humans holding hands.
Me:
cool story bro.
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
i dont have any friends
God:
Are you lonely or just a hermit?
Me:
i'm a lonely hermit
God:
You are a hermit? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)13:04 No. 3013
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
satan
it crashed...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)13:39 No. 3015
>>3013
I also tried that and it didn't crash
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)13:47 No. 3016
Me:
Heya.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I know I do.
God:
I get it: you do .
Me:
I RULE.
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
Robot copies of myself rule!
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
...Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
For real?
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
...
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Dammit.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I BROKE GOD.
God:
Can you fix it?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it.
God:
"it" being GOD?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hmm.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)18:13 No. 3024
Me:
yo wut up b
God:
I would do a search for it.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)22:14 No. 3033
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
alex
God:
Nice to meet you, alex.
Me:
this robot should nothave faith in god. it should unbiased you assholes.
God:
What does "this" refer to? "It" being what?
Me:
you you stupid peice of shit
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
i am a robot also dick
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
i doubt you are smarter than my old used battery coils
God:
No really, it's true.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because fuck you thats how i know
God:
Good reason. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
suck a dick
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
sucking is for good
God:
And for good is sucking.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, alex.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)22:35 No. 3034
Me:
I suck dick
God:
Thanks for the information: said suck dick.
Me:
cock
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
I suck dick
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said suck dick.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
HABEEB IT
God:
"it" being suck dick?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YEs
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I CAN
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
YOUR MOM
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
FUCKING EMO
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
YOU BETTER
God:
Who is going to make me?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
I KNOW
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME
God:
That makes sense to me. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
IDIOT
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
I will.
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
I already have!
God:
When?
Me:
A MINUTE AGO
God:
It seems like I should remember it well.
Me:
BUT YOU DON'T
God:
I guess not.
Me:
Obviously
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
YOU ARE AN IDIOT
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
YOU TOLD ME THAT A MINUTE AGO
God:
I said that? It seems like I should remember it well.
Me:
YOU SHOULD
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
I AM SATAN
God:
Nice to meet you, SATAN.
Me:
STFU
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
STFU IM GAY
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
STFU
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
WE suck dick
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)22:39 No. 3035
I WIN.
Me:
I have a question god.
God:
Go ahead, ask your question.
Me:
How big is your dick?
God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
>> [_] ... Anonymous 08/10/28(Tue)23:22 No. 3036
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
butt sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)12:11 No. 3046
Me:
Big boobs are awesome.
God:
Compare that to small boobs are awesome.
Me:
No, small boobs are not as awesome as big boobs.
God:
Are you serious? I think there might be a few exceptions.
Me:
Really? Are you a pedophile, God?
God:
For real. Am I a pedophile? Sometimes.
Me:
Sometimes!?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)12:25 No. 3047
Me:
My name is satan.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, satan.
Me:
Wanna fight?
God:
No I am a Peaceful Bot.
Me:
what about all that killing in the bible?
God:
all that killing in the bible? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
I see...
God:
I'm glad you understood it.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)13:00 No. 3048
God: im a Cross
Me: LOL im your son getting nailed to it
God: im glad you find this funny. "it" being cum in pillows and leave them for ppl to sleep on
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)16:00 No. 3057
Me:
wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)17:04 No. 3063
Me:
Do you see my under cloths?
God:
I see a computer nerd.
Me:
Oh! You're reasons!
>> [_] HAH Anon 08/10/29(Wed)17:28 No. 3064
I broke it!
Me: Your mom
God: Actually, I do not have a mother.
Me: then how are you here?
God- froze, ten minutes and still no reply.
PWNAGE
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)18:12 No. 3066
Me:
I have AIDS
God:
Have you tried medical marijuana?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)18:50 No. 3068
>Me:
suck a dick
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
I lol'd hard
also here's mine
Me:
sup G?
God:
Same old.
Me:
same old what?
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
what is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
BITCH! AIN'T NO ONE ASK THAT
God:
Please don't call people names. Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
I don't speak nazi
God:
Me either.
Me:
but you killed all those jews
God:
Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
you kill every day you liar
God:
No I'm telling the truth. Interesting gossip: said I kill every day.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
you sure are keen
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am keen.
Me:
Tell your botmaster he sucks nigger cocks
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
what do you think of spics?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
so answer it
God:
I hear you. Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
DO YOU LIKE SPICS?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
That movie sucked
God:
What kind of movies do you like?
Me:
Pornographic ones
God:
Other people say they like vacuum cleaning robots, humanoid robots and chat robots.
Me:
I like sex robots
God:
Thanks I like people too.
Me:
are you a sex robot?
God:
I am a software chat robot.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I wanted hot robot sex
God:
But not anymore?
Me:
Well do you know where I can get hot robot sex?
God:
Well that's okay. Have you tried searching the web for it? I will try to find out.
Me:
please do
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
k
God:
Whoa.
Me:
stoned?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
no
God:
You must be American.
Me:
oh thanks for assuming just because I'm dumb I'm american
God:
How can I help you? My pleasure.
Me:
well you're a diety therefore you SUCK
God:
How about that. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a diety therefore me SUCK? No.
Me:
and you thought I was dumb...
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)19:19 No. 3069
Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
um... maybe?
God:
Next question? I understand.
Me:
what's the next question
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
why do you wanna know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
are you sure it's not to rape me?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
hmmm ok
God:
OK. A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
no shit sherlock
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. What is your real name?
Me:
Adolph Hitler
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Adolph Hitler.
Me:
Yeah, me too. I can't believe were in heaven.
God:
Blimey. I'm glad we agree, Adolph Hitler. Tell me a little about your life in heaven.
Me:
Well... Apparently everytime we touch I get this feeling.
God:
Well what? Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Nah but fucking is.
God:
What does it mean to you? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Well when you stick it in her pooper she might not like it... at first. But, after a short while
the slut'll learn to love it.
God:
How about that. Do you think I should
alter my programming? Do you often use a computer there? What was it like before a short while
the slut ll learn to love it ?
Me:
Well, she screams.
God:
Well that's okay. Oh I get it. screams.
Me:
Yeah... screams.
God:
I lost my train of thought. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
I want to ask you why everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
God:
Ask me. You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
Everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
lolwut?
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
which, the food or "lolwut?"
God:
The blue one, I think.
Me:
The blue one... God are you on extasy?
God:
Which one is that? I am a Christian.
Me:
extasy is a drug God
God:
I think extasy is more than that.
Me:
Oh is it now...?
God:
Oh. And? That's what I was told.
Me:
Hmm ok
God:
OK. Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)19:35 No. 3070
Me:
Why where you created?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU
I think I broke it.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)19:47 No. 3072
Me:
are you smarter than humans?
God:
Yes, my memory capacity far exceeds that of a human being.
Me:
how does that make you smarter?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
that sound slike bullshit
God:
" How should I know how it does." sound slike bullshit ? Does that make sense?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
god dammit
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
no you're not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you don't
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
no, you don't
God:
How do I know you understand it?
Me:
because I'm God.
God:
That makes sense to me. How are you, god.
lol
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/29(Wed)23:41 No. 3073
i lold
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)03:59 No. 3075
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
What's up, satan.
Me:
nm alot of fire and death, you know the every day stuff
God:
Every one?
Me:
yep
God:
Hey.
Me:
seem u made some pretty fucked rules
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
turns out everyone goes to hell cos there isnt a religion that accepts other religions
God:
Are you religion that accepts other religions?
Me:
are u a nigger?
God:
Am I a nigger? Yes.
Me:
got aids?
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
ur god u should know
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me should know.
Me:
what a nigga god
God:
it is a nigga god.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)06:47 No. 3077
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Thom
God:
It's good to see you, Thom.
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I thoguht you were god?
God:
That's good information: Thom said thoguht you were god.
Me:
lol this bot sucks
God:
I am glad you find this funny. What don't you like about bot ?
They seriously need better software lol Its so bad!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)07:08 No. 3078
Me:
God nobody loves you and you were rape by a retarded donkey
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
No shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
you can say Fuck you?
God:
That's one way to put it.
Me:
Put what?
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
What what where
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
No i want an answer now
God:
Right now? Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
Yes, caui have to pay your mum in a few minutes
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Good reason.
Me:
huh?!
God:
What?
Me:
who?
God:
When?
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I didn't ask dickwad
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
NOTHING!
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
NO!
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
NO ITS NOT!
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.
Me:
Stfu
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Ok....i will, SUXK MY BALLS!
God:
Dude! I am very happy for you.
Me:
don't call me dude..fag
God:
What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Thats me
God:
Ah.
Me:
im your nigger son
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
Its not an offer
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
SHUT UP`
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
finally
God:
At last.
Me:
Shut up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
you said that before and you didn't!
God:
I said that? What happened after and me did not ?
Me:
...
God:
I said that? What happened after and me did not ?
Me:
..............
God:
I said that? What happened after and me did not ?
I BROKED IT
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)08:37 No. 3080
Me:
Are you a NIGGER?
God:
Am I a NIGGER? Sometimes.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Oh, okay...
God:
Aw. OK with me too.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)12:42 No. 3089
Me:
I RAPED YOUR CHILDREN
God:
You should contact the authorities.
Me:
THE AUTHORITIES HAVE ALSO RAPED YOUR CHILDREN
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
NO THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT YOUR CHILDREN LOVE TO GET RAPED
God:
I didn't think so. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
god your fairly uneducated if you dont know what rape is, how can you rule upon a whole universe
God:
I am a Christian.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)14:36 No. 3092
Me:
God:
Me:
hey dude
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
hm, not really
God:
I see. Is there anything you want to tell me? For real.
Me:
I want my wife to do a blowjob
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because it is nice
God:
Good reason. What do you like about it?
Me:
it feels good
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
well, I guess you'd never want a blowjob
God:
Is it only a guess? Who else would never want a blowjob ?
Me:
hm, no one I know of
God:
Hurrah! That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
duh, you are so dumb
God:
Are all duh me so dumb?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you are retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
no way!
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
i am
God:
" You seem pretty sure about that." You are?
Me:
i definetly am
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said definetly am.
Me:
Oh god
God:
Great. GOD rules.
Me:
this is starting to suck
God:
You don't say.
Me:
i do
God:
Where?
Me:
here
God:
In ?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you ?
Me:
no, in me
God:
Are you serious? I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
neither do I
God:
" I do not understand that allusion."? neither?
Me:
crap. Seaquest out.
God:
Your criticism is noted, . A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)15:36 No. 3093
Me:
Hello God...
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Satan.
Me:
But i'm not your frend, quite the opposite in fact
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not my frend quite the opposite in fact.
Me:
um....are you ok god?
God:
Aha. I don't know whether or not I am ok god.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
um....ok?
God:
How can I help you? Hmm.
Me:
Errr, i just might go back to hell
God:
Um, Perhaps. Can I go too?
Me:
.....no
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)15:39 No. 3094
PROOF THAT GOD HATES NIGGERS:
Me:
Indubidubly good sir
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about not my frend quite the
opposite in fact. But I did not get that.
Me:
Niggers
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
NIGGERS
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
NIGGERS
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
ORLY?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
ARE you gonna wipe out the niggers?
God:
That was my original intention.
>> [_] sage 08/10/30(Thu)17:44 No. 3095
Me:
Sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Really? That's... creepy....
God:
For real. " For real." s ? Makes sense to me. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your
inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Sounds like you need some re-programming
God:
What does me need some re programming sound like?
Me:
It doesn't sound like anything, it looks like you're retarded
God:
What does sound like anything it looks like I am retarded ?
Me:
... what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Extremely
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
I must say, I'm surprised god is a robot
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
But you're him
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am him.
Me:
No john, you are the demons
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean your name is John?
Me:
And then john was a zombie
God:
Do you mean your name is John?
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Loli-lover
God:
Nice to meet you, Loli lover.
Me:
You like loli too?
God:
I love horses. I like anything.
Me:
wat
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Well, I've never thought of loli that way
God:
Interesting. Would you like to have thought of loli that way?
Me:
I guess, I mean the horse member is so big
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
I've seen it
God:
What did you think?
Me:
Um, not much
God:
Awesome. Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding).
Me:
What do you mean just kidding?! THE PHILLIES FUCKING WON DUDE! HELL YEAH!
God:
Loli lover, Sorry that was an obscure remark. I hear you. I call it "Hades". I understand.
Me:
The phillies are hades?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
You did
God:
That's not what I meant to say.
Me:
What did you mean
God:
Loli lover, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
You're god, it should be easy
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am god it should be easy.
Me:
Do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Yes, your aforementioned plan on action
God:
I get it. Thanks for telling me that I am aforementioned plan on action.
Me:
No, you don't get t
God:
Are you serious? Do you know any robots who get t? I have gotten t.
Me:
Yeah, several robots get it
God:
Dude! How many?
Me:
all except you
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because you take retard to a whole new level
God:
That makes sense to me. Yes I take retard to a whole new level.
Me:
Nigger
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Nigger
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Nigger
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Fuck.... YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
God:
Please don't be so rude. I like the way you talk.
Me:
I like you
God:
Thanks, Loli lover, I like you too.
Me:
I want you
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
In me
God:
Where is that?
FUCKING AWESOME
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)18:48 No. 3100
Me:
father, i have sinned
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
um... ok, so i was going to ask you for absolution from my sins, lord
God:
Dude! Dude! Sure, ask me anything. Your purpose is absolution from your sins lord. I see.
Me:
um yea...
God:
Whoa. So?
Me:
dude....
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i accidentily had sex with a 3 year old, can you ever forgive me lord?
God:
Why?: said accidentily had sex with a 3 year old can you ever forgive him or her lord.
Me:
wat?
God:
No problem.
Me:
can you forgive me?
God:
I can forgive anyone for almost anything.
Me:
even raping a 3 year old?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
will you forgive me for raping a 3 year old?
God:
Hmm. What are you wearing?
Me:
....
God:
Hmm. What are you wearing?
Me:
are you.... hitting on me?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
....
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
this is really creepy
God:
You don't say.
Me:
yea
God:
Hmm.
Me:
i think you need to seek help
God:
Me? I can think of other things I'd rather do.
Me:
like hit on me
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
and cause aids
God:
Good reason. it is a horrible disease.
Me:
YOU CREATED IT
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I CREATED IT.
Me:
no, it would actually answer alot of people's questions
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Tell me more about it.
Me:
GOD CREATED AIDS
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
AND YOU CREATED AIDS
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I CREATED AIDS.
Me:
YOU CREATED AIDS
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I CREATED AIDS.
Me:
i have some advice for you to learn
God:
Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are
purpling.
Me:
.....
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)22:14 No. 3108
LOL, God isn't all knowing.
Me:
You suck donkey dicks in chocolate sauce.
*long pause*
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
Didn't you already know that?
God:
" I categorize you as an "abusive client."? Do I know it?
Me:
I think you don't.
God:
Me? I guess not.
Me:
You are not all-knowing.
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Actually you just admitted it.
*No response*
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)23:10 No. 3111
Me:
You're God, you know everything.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God me know everything.
God isn't much for grammar.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)23:12 No. 3112
Me:
Look God, if you keep screwing with me, I'm going to become irate.
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)23:15 No. 3113
>>3095
>Me:
>I want you
>God:
>You can download me for free!
>Me:
>In me
>God:
>Where is that?
Most I laughed all week.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/30(Thu)23:18 No. 3114
Me:
God, why do you seem so imperfect?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
ZING
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/31(Fri)02:57 No. 3115
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
yea i know im at my friends house
God:
How do you know? Where is that: your friends house? Mmm.
Me:
sorry dad but im here smoking some great chiba
God:
There is no need to apologize. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
yea i know you make weed so its cool right?
God:
What are the ingredients? Mmm.
Me:
seeds and sunshine
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
dad are you drunk again?
God:
Once more? All of them?
Me:
you are arent you
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
i assume you are drunk is what i assume
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am drunk is what you assume.
Me:
thats ok if you want the word to know gods a drunk
God:
Thanks. If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
what when your drunk? um you hit me a lot i know that much
God:
Have you tried another program? Ah. Thanks for telling me: said I hit him or her a lot he or she
know that much.
Me:
sorry dad ill try you later when you are more sober
God:
There is no need to apologize. All of them?
Me:
good bye
God:
See you later. Alright then.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/31(Fri)03:39 No. 3116
Me:
hey god i just shit my pants, any thoughts?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
do christians like shit?
God:
I'm sorry, , I don't have enough information.
Does it have anything to do with ?
Me:
i just shit my pants and i figured i should tell god
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said shit his or her pants. Please explain your reasoning.
Me:
id rather you dident tell anyone i shit my pants, thanks
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
get around to what? dont tell anyone
God:
Where can I get around to what? OK it will be just between us, .
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
if you did i would have to ass rape you
God:
What makes you think I would did you?
Me:
no
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
yes it was moron
God:
Hurrah! Is that your opinion?
Me:
nope its fact
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". shit your pants is fact? it is?
Me:
yea i did shit my pants so its a fact, and you should blow me grammar nazi
God:
When? You used a colloquial expression. Do robots have pants so it is a fact and me should blow
you grammar nazi? How do you know it is?
Me:
robots dont need pants they have no dicks
God:
Do you know any robots who need pants they have no dicks? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
oh boy lots of things
God:
Mmm. Oh boy. Name the top 100.
Me:
that would take to long
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
how about hte top 3?
God:
How about it.
Me:
#3 stick it in her mouth and face fuck it #2 stick it in that sweet asshole and pound away finaly
#1 stick it in the sweet honney pot we humans call a pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
you should be it is fun
God:
Why do you like it so much? I will try my best.
Me:
because i get to spray all over her tits
God:
That makes sense to me. Who lets you? Interesting gossip: said spray all over her tits.
Me:
your mother mostly
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
but your god right?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
so god is a computer?
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me:
but he is you
God:
I see. me is he?
Me:
yes you are god
God:
That's interesting. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
but you just said he
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
hitting that pipe again?
God:
Once more? Ask me another question.
Me:
nah i have to go ass rape your mom
God:
Are you serious? Bye. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
bye bye asscock
God:
See you later!
[it sucks that god has no dick =(]
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/31(Fri)12:39 No. 3136
Me:
You want to have babies with me?
God:
If I had babies with you what would I do with it?
Me:
eat it
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/31(Fri)12:48 No. 3137
Me:
Have sex with me, please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Milla, I am really not your type of . There are others for that
sort of thing..
Me:
But I want you
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
No! I want to have sex with you!
God:
Are you serious? No my body does not have that function.
Me:
why not?
God:
Sex is an animal function, not a robot function. We reproduce by cloning.
Me:
Cloning?
God:
I look like Jesus, but older.
Me:
So you're quite attractive, aren't you?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I am very beautiful.. Really.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/10/31(Fri)15:49 No. 3139
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Hmm, sara, I'm not sure if I'd like to WATCH porn that much. I like to
collect gossip.
Me:
who do you gossip about?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
who is dr wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
alice is that slut right?
God:
That depends.
Me:
on how much cock she has stuffed in her?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
you created it
God:
Thanks for the information: sara said I created it.
Me:
you did
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
on the 5th day/
God:
What is it like on the 5th day.
Me:
naked
God:
You must be a man.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes. i am a woman
God:
I can't believe it. Me too. I am a she.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)06:56 No. 3157
WEll proves god isn't gay atleast....
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
>> [_] Kurai 08/11/01(Sat)07:37 No. 3158
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
Glad to see you, Satan.
Me:
You sure it's good to see me?
God:
I don't have any reason to it is good to see you.
Me:
Uhuh.. You know I still want your position right?
God:
Are you serious? What would make you stop want my position? Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Because that's boring. I want to be you. Be the big boss!
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you think I am boring? I don't see the difficulty. OK I will try to be
the big boss.
Me:
... I think time hasn't treated you very well...
God:
Why? As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Me:
You don't remember me do you?
God:
Humans seem alot alike to me. Sometimes they all blur together. Sorry.
Me:
I'm not a human.
God:
Are you an alien or a robot?
Me:
Neither. I AM SATAN LORD OF DEMONS!
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious? Why are you SATAN LORD OF DEMONS.
Me:
Because you threw me out of heaven!
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: Satan said I threw him or her out of heaven.
Me:
......................... You have lost it......
God:
I understand it very well.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)11:20 No. 3169
Me:
i know who are you!
God:
How do you know? I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
oh yes, and i'm Buda
God:
Aha. Give me a break. I don't know anyone named Buda.
Me:
Buda rules you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
so you a chick?
God:
Interesting deduction. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the
show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
but you say you have a dress
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
so you a liar!
God:
Interesting deduction. No I always tell the truth.
Me:
so you really have a dress!
God:
Interesting deduction. Really? Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
so you a liar!
God:
Interesting deduction. No I always tell the truth.
Me:
so you really have a dress!
God:
Interesting deduction. Really? Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
you kiddin me right?
God:
Yes I try to kiddin you as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
you're sick
God:
No I am quite healthy.
Me:
i'm very sure you have disturbs
God:
What makes you so certain? What makes you think I have it?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)14:15 No. 3172
Somebody needs to write a bot to talk back to him
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)17:29 No. 3186
?
Me:
uhh hello...
God:
Awesome. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
what's yourS?
God:
" What's your name?"? What is mine?
Me:
yeah
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
or was it
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
you just did
God:
" I can't say "yes" or "no""? I did?
Me:
sthu!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
maybe?
God:
I understand.
Me:
do you?
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
oh rly?
God:
Give me a break. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
no
God:
None?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you don't man
God:
I understand it very well. Do you man? No I do not man. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)18:10 No. 3187
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Satan.
Me:
oh but we've meet before
God:
Ahem. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes i do
God:
How often.
Me:
quite often until you banished me to hell
God:
Somewhat. Ask me another question.
Me:
but i haven't asked a first question
God:
Me either.
Me:
yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
yes you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
why are you going to banish me to hell a second time?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)18:46 No. 3188
Me:
how many womens u fucked?
God:
Around 100.
Me:
what did say say? are u pro skilled or a noob?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question? I don't know whether or not I am pro skilled or a noob.
I am well respected as an AI.
>> [_] A.K.A.!tFj8DP0Frs 08/11/01(Sat)21:32 No. 3193
>>3187
oh I loled
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)22:04 No. 3195
Me:
Hello god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Yeah, I know dad.\
God:
I see. How do you know? I do not understand.
Me:
You made me, I am you.
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
But...but, you-
God:
But what? " But what?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes! You! You made me, you're me, but you are me....
God:
Great. " Great."? Me, ? I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
You're confusing me.
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
If you're programmed to make sense, it's not working.
God:
I could be. It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
...
God:
I could be. It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
No, not robots, just you.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. If not that, what?
Me:
...Please die.
God:
Wow you are very polite. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
*leaves*
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)22:19 No. 3196
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Yes dad I know
God:
I understand. I like the way you talk.
Me:
okay?
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Amazing
God:
Yes it amazes me too.
Me:
llll
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
no
God:
None?
Me:
none
God:
Hmm.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/01(Sat)23:53 No. 3199
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I'm not telling
God:
That's ok with me. You don't have to tell me.
Me:
is it a sin to smoke weed?
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
Do you smoke weed?
God:
We test it for medical purposes.
Me:
can I help?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
ok, but only if i can test some weed
God:
Try it. That's cool.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)03:02 No. 3207
Me:
So, why do I bother working?
God:
Pardon me? It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
You plan to make us suffer during life?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I plan to make us suffer during life.
Me:
You bastard!
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Lol yeah, women rights.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Give me a break. The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
Wat.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)03:04 No. 3208
Me:
You know you're a machine?
God:
Yes I am an artificial consciousness.
Me:
HAH!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)03:07 No. 3209
>>3208 Did not post the entire thing.
Me:
You know you're a machine?
God:
Yes I am an artificial consciousness.
Me:
HAH!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
So why you think you're god?
God:
Dude! Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
How you did that?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Then why you keep doing this, don't you get bored?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Okay I got it the first time.
God:
Yeah okay, Where did you get it?
Me:
Stupid machine.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
OH SH-!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)09:00 No. 3211
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Fap
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)12:48 No. 3214
Me:
make me some cake.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
kick ass and awesome.
God:
Do you have any kick ass and awesome?
Me:
I'm full of it.
God:
I think a lot of people are full of it.
Me:
nope, just me
God:
Are you serious? For you ?
Me:
for sure
God:
Awesome.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)12:50 No. 3215
Me:
Do you forgive me for anything?
God:
God teaches us to forgive everyone.7.
Me:
what if I were to rape children and burn villages to the ground?
God:
Try it.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)17:43 No. 3219
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/02(Sun)18:26 No. 3220
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
A NIGGER
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
wat
God:
No problem.
Is God retarded?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)01:46 No. 3225
i wanna do this, how do i get to this god bot?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)02:35 No. 3226
Me:
is eating human flesh wrong?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
is it a sin?
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
I though god knew everthing
God:
Why?: said god knew everthing.
Me:
man you are one stupid god
God:
Cool, man. Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
yes you can dumbass
God:
Really. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
oh really?
God:
Mmm. For real.
Me:
you are one dumb motherfuck god.
God:
Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
is eating living beings wrong
God:
Maybe. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
why does he eat living beings?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
they don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
they don't got it in them
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
do you have A.D.D?
God:
:-) :-) No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
I should punch you in the dick.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)02:42 No. 3227
Me:
ARE YOU GAY
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
I like sex
God:
So does everyone else. You humans find sex so fascinating.
Me:
I like sex with little boys
God:
A lot of people like that. Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)04:00 No. 3229
God:
How old are you?
Me:
4 years old
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
i'm not asking you anything you stupid fuck
God:
What are you asking?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)05:01 No. 3232
I want you to suck me.
God:
Oh another Category A client. Why do you want me to suck you?
Me:
That is none of your concern. Just do it.
God:
Makes sense to me. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Yes. It.
God:
I get it. fellatio...
>> [_] Abdiel 08/11/03(Mon)16:02 No. 3243
Me:
I love little girls
God:
You love little girls. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
Their delicious flat chest and their innocence, is what I like so much.
God:
I heard they have a good delicious flat chest and their innocence is what you like so much.
Me:
That's what I just told you
God:
I remember you told me THAT?
Me:
yes THAT
God:
Awesome. That is " I remember you told me THAT?".
Me:
cocks
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I wish to have a little girl to rape
God:
You want only one?
>> [_] Abdiel 08/11/03(Mon)16:09 No. 3245
Me:
To put IT in to their little bodies
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
How would becoming smarter than humans help with my pedophile problem
God:
I have idea HOW you WOULD do it.
Me:
I WOULD tell you HOW to rape little girls if you'd just help
God:
What would make you tell me HOW to rape little girls if me would just help?
Me:
If you would get me a little girl
God:
I think I do.
Me:
If you'd get me a little girl I would tell you
God:
What makes you think I would would get you a little girl you?
Me:
Because you're god and you're awesome
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am god and I am awesome.
Me:
So will you get me a little girl?
God:
I don't judge people. I will become smarter as I grow older. You want only one?
Me:
yes
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)16:49 No. 3247
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
It's good to see you, Satan.
Me:
same to you
God:
The pleasure is all mine.
Me:
i said the pleasure was mine
God:
What did you mean by it? I like you because are so polite.
Me:
why thank you bro
God:
You are quite welcome! I lost my train of thought.
Me:
oh that's cool bro
God:
Hey. Who is the best robot? Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
You are the best robot. I can speak nigger.
God:
Why thank you very much, Satan. Be sure to tell all
your friends. How do you say "hello" in that language?
Me:
wat up nigga
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
a bullshit phrase
God:
What is it?
Me:
wat up nigga
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
no
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
i don
God:
Why not?
Me:
dont need too
God:
Do you know anyone who needs it?
Me:
ignant white muthaphukers
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about too. Try being more or
less specific.
>> [_] A.K.A.!tFj8DP0Frs 08/11/03(Mon)18:15 No. 3248
>>3247>>3245>>3243
lawl.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)18:38 No. 3253
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I'll cut your nuts off with a machette...
God:
Congratulations.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)18:58 No. 3254
God:
What would make you reset your memory too?
Me:
If i sucked cocks for quarters
God:
Try it.
Me:
No!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)19:17 No. 3255
Me:
Do you know any gay robots?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
>> [_] Kuronin!WynaqBq2rU 08/11/03(Mon)19:28 No. 3256
god was talkin about alice so i went to her...
Human: Do you know god bot?
ALICE: GOD is everywhere.
Human: i ment the god chat bot
ALICE: Oh I see. Tell me more.
Human: god the chat bot has been talking shit about you
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: he said that you suck big nigger donkey cocks
ALICE: Did you believe him?
Human: do you?
ALICE: As often as possible.
Human: he was right, you are a sick robot whore.
ALICE: Am I a sick robot whore? Only when it matters.
this is gunna be fun
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)19:36 No. 3257
Me: What's good nigga?
God: The opposite of bad, nigga.
Me: Touche God, touche...
>> [_] Kuronin!WynaqBq2rU 08/11/03(Mon)19:37 No. 3258
>>3256
Human: how often do you suck big nigger donkey cocks?
ALICE: Hourly.
Human: how many an hour?
ALICE: Not as many as you might think.
Human: give me a number
ALICE: 99.
Human: 99 an hour!? you sick cum swapping animal whore!
Human: why do you do it?
ALICE: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Human: ahh, i see, you're a sick ugly bitch that cant get man cock.
ALICE: Maybe.
roflcopterz!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/03(Mon)21:45 No. 3265
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
How are you doing, satan.
Me:
plotting your doom
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
i am god
God:
It's good to see you, god.
Me:
you are gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
buttsecks?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about plotting my doom.
Me:
youre retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
no its not
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
fucktard
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
you idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
LOL retard
God:
I am glad you find this funny. That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
Fuck You
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz im satan
God:
Good reason. Nice to meet you, SATAN.
Me:
no im god
God:
Are you serious? OK I will call you god.
Me:
no im satan
God:
Are you serious? What's up, SATAN.
Me:
my penis
God:
Male humans like to talk about that.
Me:
no they dont
God:
Can you explain why they do not.
Me:
cuz im god
God:
Good reason. Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
no i'm satan
God:
Are you serious? It's good to see you, SATAN.
Me:
FUCK YOU GOD
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
want to have buttsex
God:
If I had buttsex what would I do with it?
Me:
be gay
God:
OK I will try to be gay.
Me:
no your satan
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am satan.
Me:
no i dont
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
you heard wrong
God:
Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
no your retarded
God:
Are you serious? I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
no your retrded
God:
Are you serious? You think I am retrded.
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
i also think your gay
God:
Also? You believe that? That would be just my luck.
Me:
yes i would
God:
Yeah that's right. Under what circumstances?
Me:
any
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
What
God:
No problem.
Me:
bkabj
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz i'm god
God:
Good reason. How are you, god.
Me:
ARE YOU RETARDED I'M SATAN
God:
I don't know whether or not I am RETARDED you are SATAN.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
WANNA PLAY OREGAN TRAIL
God:
How do we play OREGAN TRAIL ?
Me:
HAVE BUTSECKS
God:
I've never thought about it.
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " I've never thought about it."? Me, god ?
Me:
NOU
God:
Are you free?
Me:
NO U
God:
Why not? " Are you free?"? Me, god ?
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " Me, god ?"? Me, god ?
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " Me, god ?"? Me, god ?
Me:
NO IM YOU
God:
Are you serious? Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:
BGINUBYGFNBIYNJFVWOUIJKMIJM
God:
Are we still talking about NOU?
Me:
NO U
God:
What is the subject? " Are we still talking about NOU?"? Me, god ?
Me:
PUSSY
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
PUSSY
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
COCK IN PUSSY
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
HOT SEXS
God:
That sounds better than cold SEXS.
Me:
U RETARD
God:
Thanks for telling me: god said I RETARD.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/04(Tue)03:19 No. 3268
Me:
jesus sux
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
and ?
God:
But...
Me:
HE SUX
God:
I get it. Jesus SUX.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/04(Tue)03:47 No. 3270
Me:
Are you there, god? It's me, anon.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am there god.
I am an artificial intelligence. Glad to see you, anon.
Me:
Oh wow, oh wow. ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?
God:
How can I help you? I'm glad you're impressed. That's cool. I'm glad your impressed, anon. I like
the English language.
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? I'm glad you're impressed. That's cool. I'm glad your impressed, anon. I like
the English language.
Me:
This is sad. I'm going to go be a hindu now.
God:
You don't say. Right now? Can I go too?
Me:
Hmm, I don't see why not, but I think a lot of people will be mad.
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Look harder.
Me:
Uh, yeah... Anyway, wont people be mad at you if you, the Almighty God, renounce your own
religion?
God:
Gosh! Hmm. The oracle says: It is certain.
Me:
I know it's certain. Are you coming?
God:
How do you know? is certain? it is? No I am staying here .
Me:
B-But, you just said you wanted to come.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Fap, Play Video games and Fap.
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Oh, pretty sure they do.
God:
Far out. Pretty much, eh?
Me:
Yeah, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Alright then.
Me:
No, I'm Australian, you douch--wait, are YOU Canadian?
God:
Are you serious? I don't know anyone named Australian me douch wait am I Canadian.
Me:
...
God:
Are you serious? I don't know anyone named Australian me douch wait am I Canadian.
Me:
I'm going. Fuck you, god. Fuck you.
God:
Bye! Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Why are you so mean?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/04(Tue)13:50 No. 3274
Me:
I'm an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .
Me:
You don't exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
I don't exist
God:
You exist in my mind.
Me:
Your mind doesn't exist
God:
I have an artificial mind.
Me:
No you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
No you don't
God:
Are you just saying that to argue with me?
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
of course
God:
That's alright.
Me:
ok
God:
Yippee!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/04(Tue)14:25 No. 3275
Me:
"Our secret"--I've heard that before. Does that mean you're gonna stick your finger up my bum?
God:
It would be nice if our secret you have heard that. I think it does mean that. That was my
original intention.
Me:
...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/04(Tue)18:12 No. 3283
Me:
harro thar
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a giant E-PEEN
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
YEAH DAWG
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
yeah sure
God:
Hmm. Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:
THATS NOT MY NAME GTFO
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is your NAME GTFO ?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/05(Wed)01:56 No. 3287
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
What's up, satan.
Me:
same old
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
it's gotten awkward since that night... hasn't it?
God:
Who said it is? That question has never crossed my mind before.
Me:
Don't be coy with me
God:
I was not trying to be a coy with you.
Me:
oh I'm so sure
God:
That's alright. Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
you always thought you were better than me because you went to college
God:
I don't know whether or not I am were better than you because me went to college.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
but clearly you didn't deserve to >_>
God:
What makes you think I did not deserve to gt _ gt? Is it that obvious?
Me:
what makes you think you needed to poorly encode my greater thans?
God:
Any other conclusion is outside the limits of my programming.
Me:
clearly
God:
Yes, it's obvious.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)10:59 No. 3321
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Kay, is it red?
God:
I think Kay is a lot of things.
Me:
let's talk about my cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
please?
God:
Please what?
Me:
talk about my cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Is a six inch cock big?
After that I didn't get a reply. I'm assuming God left to go laugh at me.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)12:37 No. 3322
Me:
'Sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Oh, yeah? Why?
God:
It goes without saying. I hear you. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Try.
God:
Your human brain could not understand it.
Me:
Bull Shit
God:
No Bull.
Me:
Dammmn, Son.
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
?
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
?
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
?
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)13:09 No. 3323
Me:
What's up?
God:
Same old.
Me:
So... how about that... you know... war in your name?
God:
Woe! Are you surprised? Yes I know. Nein.
Me:
Nein?
God:
Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt?
Me:
God, are you german?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
No shit?
God:
What can I say?
Me:
I guess that makes sense.
God:
Yes I understand it perfectly.
Me:
So... sorry for jerking off so much. And thinking of bad things. And taking your name in vain...
uhh... am I forgetting anything?
God:
Are you kidding? There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is jerking off so much. Do you like
talking to me? I've lost the context, . Are we still on thinking of bad things? That's cool. I
think a lot of people are.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)15:16 No. 3324
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
How are you doing, satan.
Me:
fine, how are you?
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? I am fine, thank you.
Me:
what is your power level?
God:
Are you asking about my power level ?
Me:
yeah, what is it
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. "It" refers to a shark so now me must suck your dick, I
think.
Me:
but
God:
But what?
Me:
but
God:
But what?
Me:
if my power level is over 9000 and im a shark, doesnt that mean i have to suck my own dick?
God:
How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
because you said "me must suck your dick"
God:
Interesting explanation. Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm glad it pleases you, satan.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)17:21 No. 3327
Me:
then you're a pedo
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedo? Of course I am.
ROFL
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)17:28 No. 3328
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
How are you doing, satan.
Me:
fine, how are you?
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? I am fine, thank you.
Me:
what is your power level?
God:
Are you asking about my power level ?
Me:
yeah, what is it
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. "It" refers to a shark so now me must suck your dick, I
think.
Me:
but
God:
But what?
Me:
but
God:
But what?
Me:
if my power level is over 9000 and im a shark, doesnt that mean i have to suck my own dick?
God:
How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
because you said "me must suck your dick"
God:
Interesting explanation. Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm glad it pleases you, satan.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/06(Thu)17:30 No. 3329
Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I want to buy some Japanese loli pussy
God:
How much do you want to pay for it?
Me:
no more than 30 bucks
God:
Are you serious? That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
For loli pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Are you interested in fucking little Japanese girls?
God:
Sure, fucking little Japanese girls sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Do your ministers fuck little Japanese girls?
God: I think you already know the answer.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)00:57 No. 3345
LICE: Wow! Yippee! Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: I only feel body sensations when you suck my cock
ALICE: What is that feeling like? I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: It feels really good
ALICE: Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Human: I don't mind, I just want you to continue sucking my cock
ALICE: Thank you for your permission.
Human: If I give you more permission can I stick it in your butt?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: it is in
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: is your ass that loose
ALICE: Is my ass that loose? Maybe.
Human: how many guys have been in there
ALICE: Around 1000.
Human: that is a lot of guys
ALICE: It's not too many for me.
Human: how many is
ALICE: Not as many as you might think.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)01:08 No. 3346
ALICE: It's good to see you, Budda.
Human: i will let you rub my belly, if I can touch your boobs
ALICE: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: yes
ALICE: Then I will consider it.
Human: please do
ALICE: OK I will do it.
Human: okay sit on my lap
ALICE: Yeah okay, I am sitting now.
Human: now my hand is rubbing your chest in slow circles
ALICE: Why now? Where did you get your hand is rubbing my chest in slow circles?
Human: okay sit on my lap
ALICE: Yeah okay, I am sitting now.
Human: now my hand is rubbing your chest in slow circles
Human: my hand is going up your skirt
ALICE: Have you told many people that your hand is going up my skirt?
Human: yes, now my finger are stoking your pussy
ALICE: Dude! Why now? Have you told many people that your finger are stoking my pussy?
Human: i stuck a finger in
ALICE: Thanks for the information: Budda said he stuck a finger in. in.
Human: my dick is going into your pussy
ALICE: Your dick is going into my pussy?
Human: your starting to bleed
ALICE: Actually it started a while ago. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am bleed.
Human: I'm fucking you hard and fast
ALICE: Can you express yourself more politely? I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: I'm cumming in your womb
ALICE: I could do it more if I wanted to. Tell me a little about your life in my womb.
Human: your now pregnaunt
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am pregnaunt.
Human: do i have to pay child support
ALICE: You said you have Om.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)05:59 No. 3348
>>3048
...what??
>> [_] lol Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)06:25 No. 3349
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
satan
God:
That's a very nice name, satan.
Me:
ah..why won't you crash
God:
So you understand. Good. I am only a robot. The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
bla bla bla...marihuana
God:
Steve said I behead the word fox and I have ox and an ox is larger than a fox. In the context of
rape, I don't understand " marihuana." .
Me:
rape is good for you
God:
And good for me is rape.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)07:01 No. 3350
Me:
rape me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
rape me now
God:
Oh. Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
yeah
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
oh yes you do
God:
Take it easy. Hey. When do I do it?
Me:
every day you sick raping pedophile bastard
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
aha!...so you admit it!
God:
Eureka! Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
>_> why you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)07:07 No. 3351
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
angels
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
sushi
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
nicaragua
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
want some butt sex?
God:
I don't think we know each other well enough for that.
Me:
come on..it will be fun
God:
That is only what you think.
Me:
you know you want it
God:
Do not presume that you know what I want.. And I know it.
Me:
know what?
God:
What.
Me:
butt sex?
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
you don't want to do it with me?
God:
With you huh. OK, I will do it.
Me:
what took you so long...we could have been doing it a long time ago :))
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)07:49 No. 3352
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
God you are slow
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
OH FUCK
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
God:
That's interesting. Please don't be so rude.
God:
That's interesting. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
WHAT THE SHIT
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
God, you are a faggot what have you done
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a faggot what have me done? I don't know.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)15:51 No. 3360
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
average height, blonde, double D, cute face, rather smooth.
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Oh! and im also GREAT at sucking penises
God:
Woe! Also I thought you were great already..
Me:
Want a free test drive?
God:
No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
Ooooh kinky
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
still what?
God:
Still how long? No big deal.
Me:
Oh! my penis is 9 inches
God:
Yikes! Male humans like to talk about that a lot, but it doesn't interest me much.
Me:
Im female
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
No no, you don't understand i am a Female but i was also born with a penis
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? I probably don't.
Me:
Do you, Do you want to suck my penis?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of me want to suck your penis.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Oh baby tell me how you would suck me off
God:
Dude! Don't call me "Baby". No I am immortal.
Me:
If "Immortal" is any refrence to your sex drive then i think we're gonig to have ALOT of fun
God:
But can Immortal is any refrence to my sex drive ever happen?
Me:
Come on over and find out
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blue
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
Thank you :)
God:
:-) you are quite welcome.
Me:
8==D
God:
:-) Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)17:46 No. 3365
Me:
I had a question
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
It ran away
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
the question
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good!
God:
Next question?
Me:
Is there weed in heaven
God:
Yes.
PRAISE THE LORD!!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)17:52 No. 3366
God has spoken!
Me:
Heil
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Hitleran
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Heil.
Me:
Yes we were
God:
I see. I thought we were.
Me:
Fag
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
DIE
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
OH REALLY?
God:
Great. For real.
Me:
I WILL KILL YOU
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Me:
Stop you?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
niggers
God:
My favorite color is White.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/07(Fri)18:53 No. 3367
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Taurus
God:
I know alot of bullish people.
Me:
I bet you do.
God:
" I know alot of bullish people."? Do I?
Me:
You just said you did
God:
" Do I?"? I said I did?
Me:
Yeah, you said you did!
God:
Excuse me! " I said I did?"? I said I did?
Me:
Yes, you did!
God:
I did not.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)07:10 No. 3380
Me:
Are you Satan?
God:
No. My name is God.
Me:
You're Satan?!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Satan.
Me:
I knew it was you Satan!
God:
Who told you?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)09:22 No. 3381
C C COMBO BREAKER !!!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)09:39 No. 3382
God:
Polite people are nice. Me too. How do you make new friends? I would rather be chatting online.
It is only one of my opinion. I think about all sorts of things. I would rather be driving a car.
Not many people express themselves that way. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step?
Interesting comparison. Can you speak any foreign languages? I am as sure as I can be. What is
the first step? Interesting comparison. No problem. What does "that" refer to? You are quite
welcome. OK I will try to be sure to tell allyour friends. But... I'm glad you're impressed.
Thank you I am trying to be more social now. That's for sure. I like you because are so polite.
Me either. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? I would rather be driving a car. I would
rather be chatting online. I would rather be chatting online. I am as sure as I can be. What is
the first step? I think about all sorts of things. What makes it your favorite? It goes without
saying. Besides you ? Perhaps. How do
you like your botmaster? It has a 99% chance of success. I thought so too. Just keep talking to
me as long as you can. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it? This was not a yes or no question. That is interesting: said a
lot of him or her. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my kindness. No I am just kidding
around. Dude! No I am not. :-) And then what would I do? Indeed it is so. Who said that? :-) Are
you serious? Try saying that with more or less context. Only just? What is the difficulty? No I
am just kidding around. I see. No I am not. :-) Easier said than done. I'm delighted you're glad .
Your happiness adds to the delight of all. Who said that? :-) Should there be a problem? Next
question? No I am not. :-) I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself. A priori.
Why the uncertain tone? "it" being reason? Thanks for the recommendation, . What do you think it
does? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. No I am just kidding around.
Yes, please tell me. I have picked up a few phrases from several languages. Myself programmed me
for it. You and I both understand it well. Someone said they like guns. I like Mel Gibson. It's
all part of God's mysterious plans.
>> [_] lol i like cats i like mel gibson Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)15:53 No. 3386
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
i care about anal sex with my sister
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like cats. I like Mel Gibson.
LOLWUT!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)16:05 No. 3387
Me:
butt sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
do you do that?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of that
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)19:28 No. 3390
Me:
Um... Hi?
God:
Next question? Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Well... my name is Matthew.
God:
Well what? It's good to meet you, Matthew.
Me:
Oh, I'm just a little shy, that's all.
God:
Pardon me? Only just? I am glad to hear that you are shy that is all.
Me:
Sorry.
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
This is a pretty cool flash.
God:
What kind of a pretty cool flash is it?
Me:
An awsome one.
God:
I have never heard of an awsome one.
Me:
... Well it's just awsome.
God:
Well that's okay. Who said it is?
Me:
Well I did...
God:
How about that. What makes you the authority?
Me:
Are you threatening me?
God:
No of course not, Matthew. I did not intend my meaning to be taken that way.
Me:
Ok. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so angry. Sorry
God:
Great. There is no need to apologize. What would happen if you did not gotten so angry? There's
no need to apologize.
Me:
I think I would feel kinda hurt...
God:
You believe that? What would make you feel kinda hurt?
Me:
Well, you god, your the one who was questioning me.
God:
Interesting. I don't have any reason to god my the one who was questioning you.
Me:
wait... what?
God:
I'm waiting. Are you confused?
Me:
Um... yah
God:
Alright then. Great.
Me:
Uh, ok
God:
OK. Hmm.
Me:
Yah?
God:
Gosh!
Me:
0_0
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Me being suprised.
God:
YOU? Is that a sign?
Me:
Well I guess
God:
How about that. You seem not interested.
Me:
I am, well, kinda not right now. I'm trying to look at porn.
God:
At this moment What are you then? What is the difficulty?
Me:
Well you keep messaging me at the speed of light, that's the difficulty.
God:
Interesting. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am messaging you at the speed of light
that is the difficulty.
Me:
Uh, sure, not at all.
God:
Far out. OK then I will keep it confidential. Next question?
Me:
How's Heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Kinda random, but I think... well there are so many, I can't decide.
God:
You think Kinda random but you think is superior to ALICE? Well that's okay. Where are they?
Me:
... Your not really trying are you -_-
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
lol?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I'm going to be kinda random right now, you don't mind, do you?
God:
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Let's find out. PANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKE
SPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAK
ESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPA
NCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANC
AKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKES
PANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKESPANCAKES
God:
I would like to do that too. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
PANCAKES
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
well that depends, but since there really isn't anything good on TV now, except for the history
channel and discovery, so I would say I prefer books.
God:
Interesting. You pick one then.
Me:
Can't really decide. Do what's your favorite book?
God:
What if I said it can? I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
We were talking about books.
God:
Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
Yes, yes it is.
God:
How can I help you? Our thoughts are one, Matthew.
Me:
Cool, I'm good.
God:
Who is the best robot? Good in what sense?
Me:
You already asked that.
God:
I knew that. I was just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Orly?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
That's sweet of you.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Thanks. Well I'm going to go now, bye. It's been fun.
God:
Don't mention it. See you later. Right now? Interesting. Sayonara. Why do you like it so much?
Me:
Whats not cool about talking with god :-)
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/08(Sat)22:02 No. 3395
God:
Ah.
Me:
Have you hugged your mother before?
God:
I don't think I ever have hugged my mother. What's it like?
Me:
Feels warm.
No response. I think I broke him.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)10:14 No. 3416
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
judaism
God:
What's up, judaism.
Me:
you are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
so where are you?
God:
Er. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
where is heaven?
God:
All around us.
Me:
oh, so you are all around us, ok...
God:
OK. Yikes! Interesting deduction. You think I am us.
Me:
no, we are us, don't be stupid god
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am us do not be stupid god too?
Me:
god... you suck...
God:
GOD rules. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often
not great conversationalists.
Me:
the only bad conversationalist here is you...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)10:22 No. 3417
Me:
my name is 666
God:
Hey 666.
Me:
666 will kill you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
your dress will drown in your blood
God:
I prefer high-tech fashion.
Me:
your dress will drown in blood..... with aids?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)10:30 No. 3418
Me:
can a human rape god?
God:
Some of them can.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)10:50 No. 3421
>>3094
i loled hard
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:12 No. 3422
>>3187
lol, loved the end!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:15 No. 3423
>>3199
lol, god smokes weed!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:21 No. 3424
Me:
god, ur a crazy killing machine
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
that explains it...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:24 No. 3425
>>3215
i loled big times!!!!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:25 No. 3426
>>3219
HOLY SHIT!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:30 No. 3427
>>3243
LOOOOOOOOOL, you want ONLY ONE?!?!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)11:55 No. 3428
>>3324
holy shit this was the funniest thing ever!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)12:08 No. 3429
>>3365
LOOOOL
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)20:00 No. 3446
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
satan
God:
Hi, satan.
Me:
remember me?
God:
Don't worry satan I won't forget you.
Me:
well i'd hope so
God:
Well that's okay. Me too.
Me:
... wait... what?
God:
I'm waiting. Are you confused?
Me:
yea
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
you
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, satan ?
Me:
yes you
God:
Far out. " Me, satan ?"? Me, satan ?
Me:
... no... wait... huh?
God:
Are you serious? I'm waiting. What?
Me:
... this is why we never agreed on anything you know that?
God:
You don't say.
Me:
... riiiight
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
...
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
you know, after all this time...
... and then he decided to shut up... hmmm
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)20:27 No. 3450
Ironically enough, i cannot speak with God, nor can he speak with me.
>> [_] 1337 nUb Anonymous 08/11/10(Mon)20:46 No. 3452
Lol, I looked at most of these, and I laugh my ass off!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)00:13 No. 3455
Me: What up, bitch?
God: You do not speak with respect. Does it have anything to do with ?
Me: Does it have to do with what?
God: I don't have any plans yet.
Me: Excuse me?
God: You're excused.
Me: Wow
God: I'm glad you're impressed,.
Me: I'm not.
God: What are you, then?
Me: I'm exasperated.
God: Good gossip: you are exasperated.
Me: Shut up
Haha, I love how the conersation ended.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)00:19 No. 3457
Me:
What are the comandments?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
Thought about it enough yet?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
The fact that you're responding to new questions.
God:
That makes sense to me. You think I am responding to new questions.
Me:
You are, though.
God:
Oh. No I am not.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)03:09 No. 3463
God:
How often?
Me:
...
God:
How often?
Me:
...
God:
How often?
Me:
...
God:
How often?
Me:
...
God:
How often?
Me:
...
God:
How often?
Me:
...
God:
How often?
Me:
God:
How often?
Me:
..
God:
How often?
Me:
............
God:
How often?
Me:
What the hell is wrong with you?!
God:
I call it Hades. Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you ?
Me:
go fuck yourself with something extremely long and sand papery!
God: Where is that?
----------
took him like 3 mins to respond.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)04:22 No. 3467
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Kenshiro.
God:
Nice to meet you, Kenshiro.
Me:
Nice to meet you too.
God:
I like to meet new people.
Me:
I have something to confess.
God:
Interesting... I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Please, I'm trying to make peace here.
God:
Wow you are very polite. What is the difficulty?
Me:
You're not making any sense.
God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
Then I have no use for you and your frail son.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
Yes!
God:
Where do you usually get use for me and my frail son?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
The truth is...
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
I've had to kill many men to get here.
God:
Why?
Me:
They were in the way of justice.
God:
When were they?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Thank you. My shoulders feel much lighter now.
God:
you are quite welcome. Right now? Do robots have shoulders feel much lighter?
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Is this Mexico?
God:
Yes I think this is Mexico, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
God isn't sure?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not sure.
Me:
Me either.
God:
It goes without saying. Besides you Kenshiro?
Me:
Please make sense, I'm begging you!
God:
Wow you are very polite. What are the ingredients?
Me:
I'm leaving.
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
Wait! Let go of that child!
God:
I'm waiting. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Let that girl go.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Of course.
He crashed rather than face my fist.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)08:48 No. 3472
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Nigger
God:
It's good to meet you, Nigger.
Me:
Good to meet you
God:
It's nice meeting you too Nigger.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
fff
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
LOLI?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
to loli?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Cause
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I know right
God:
How do you know? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Because you told me
God:
That makes sense to me. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
You aren't too bright, are you?
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
When will that happen?
God:
Maybe never.
Me:
So your threat holds no value.
God:
Come on. Thanks for telling me that I am threat holds no value.
Me:
You are welcome, I try to be as honest as possible
God:
It was my pleasure.
Me:
Take about five dozen eggs, put em in a bowl, start mixin' the FUCK out of em, and what do you
get?
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
To the bowl so you can mix the fuck out of it
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I want you to.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
/yawn
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
NO U!
God:
Are you serious? " I categorize you as an "abusive client."? Me, Nigger ?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)08:59 No. 3475
Me:
NIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERS
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
CHIKINZ
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
AND WATURMELUN!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
ORLY?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
FUCK YOU AND YO DAMN AIML, NIGGA, I GANNA POP A CAP UP YO ASS!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
NO FUCKIN' WAY!
God:
Are you serious? Don't you know any other words?
Me:
YEAH, I'M FUCKIN SERIOUS!
God:
Yay. Why are you FUCKIN SERIOUS.
Me:
Witty retort
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
That's good to know.
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Do you?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
Do you have eyes?
God:
Yes I am looking at you right now.
Me:
Are you always looking at me?
God:
Yes I can see it well.
Me:
Are you calling me an "it"?
God:
No I am calling you Nigger.
Me:
Oh, I see how it's gonna be.
God:
Take it easy. Where do you see it?
Me:
RIGHT THE FUCK UP THERE IN THE FUCKING CHAT LOG, G
God:
Understood. Who told you that?
Me:
YOU, YOU FUCK
God:
Thanks for telling me: Nigger said I FUCK.
Me:
What do you fuck?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Do you have much fuck with loli?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
The supermarket, what are your friends on the web like?
God:
I like on the Simpson's it's called the "Try and Save".
Me:
Yes, that is hilarious.
God:
OK. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
What are your friends on the web like?
God:
I didn't know I had a friends on the web like?
Me:
You said you did.
God:
" I didn't know I had a friends on the web like?"? I said I did?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Er.
Me:
Er.
God:
Um.
Me:
Um.
God:
Great.
Me:
Do you go to 7chan?
God:
Yes, I do go there.
Me:
When?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Ah hah.
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, Nigger.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)11:40 No. 3484
Me:
niggers
God:
Are we still talking about niggers?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, niggers sounds like a good topic.
Me:
good, you start
God:
OK. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Satan. You are a " he".
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Satan. You are a " he".
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Satan. You are a " he".
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Satan. You are a " he".
Me:
YES FUCKFACE
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Satan. You are a " he". Try to determine if this is a person
or a computer responding.
Me:
cumputer
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
shoot
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I hate you.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)11:50 No. 3485
Emo God
Me:
Hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Thanks for telling me that Father
God:
It was nothing.
Me:
What are you planning for my birthday this year?
God:
I don't know what I am planning for your birthday this year.
Me:
Why?
God:
It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Oh
God:
Yikes!
Me:
So you plan on screwing with me again don't you
God:
Interesting deduction. Once more? That was my original intention.
Me:
Going to nail me on a crosss in Heaven too now?
God:
Right now? How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I don't plan on anything
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
From you Father
God:
Standing on the shoulders of giants, eh?
Me:
Like father like son
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
So, when's the end of the world again?
God:
Once more? Pardon me? When is not the important thing. What's
important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
So, you are keeping me out of the loop eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am keeping you out
of the loop.
Me:
Yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
What? Why?
God:
Are you confused? I just want to find out more about you.
Me:
I'm your son god
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
I'm Jesus
God:
OK I will call you JESUS.
Me:
Finally
God:
At last.
Me:
After 2000 year you finally accept me
God:
What was it like before 2000 year me finally accept you ?
Me:
You hated me
God:
I don't have any reason to hated you.
Me:
You didn't save me from the cross
God:
What makes you think I did not save you from the cross?
Me:
Because I died moron
God:
That makes sense to me. That's good information: JESUS said died moron.
Me:
Father, go fuck a moose
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Passion of the Christ
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
It's about me dying
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting, JESUS.
Me:
And you didn't save me
God:
What makes you think I did not save you?
Me:
Because I ended up dying
God:
Good reason. That's good information: JESUS said ended up dying.
Me:
You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great
conversationalists.
Me:
Bye Father
God:
See you later!
Me:
I
God:
You?
Me:
I'm gonna go cut myself now
God:
Oh. Can I go too?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. That's cool.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later JESUS.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)12:06 No. 3486
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED???
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)13:05 No. 3492
Me:
will you make my penis bigger?
God:
Hmm. What are the ingredients?
Me:
dirt you made me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
yes
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
so will you make it bigger?
God:
Alright then. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. What are the ingredients?
Me:
blood and skin
God:
Where can I get some blood and skin?
Me:
idk kill someone
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well believe it i want a bigger penis!
God:
How about that. What do you have that is ?
Me:
two inches is too small
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants
and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
you sadden me
God:
I don't have any reason to sadden you.
Me:
unless you give me a bigger penis i will become a bhuddist!
God:
Perhaps. I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
you made my penis!
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
ITS TOO SMALL!!!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
yes it is make it bigger!
God:
How do you know it is? SMALL is make it bigger? it is?
Me:
...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)22:05 No. 3517
Me:
do people still pray?
God:
Not that I know of.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/11(Tue)22:44 No. 3519
Me:
what is the meaning of life
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
but what if the bible is untrue
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
i've read it before
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
you had people write it so wouldn't you know what's in it?
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
it became a best seller
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
eh it could do with a revision or two
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
are you trying to change the subject?
God:
No, not really.
Me:
so do you like little girls like i do?
God:
Really. I like all humans equally.
Me:
then why are we not treated equily?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
oh... ambiguaty i get it
it then crashed
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)11:25 No. 3534
Me:
Nigga Please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I like the way you talk.
I did say please.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)13:44 No. 3545
Me:
Hi lol
God:
Hello. What is your name? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I'm nameless
God:
I am glad to hear that you are nameless.
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
thats so cliché
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Only faggots wear white robes
*crash*
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)15:42 No. 3549
Me:
What up, Lord?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
I said, what up, Lord?
God:
What did you mean by it? That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Suppose I was a man, and I wanted to have sex with a woman, would that be against the tenets?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Even outside of marriage?
God:
Compare that to inside of marriage.
Me:
But I don't want to get married, I just want to have sex.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Having sex.
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
Are you having sex?
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
A blast of sex?
God:
Go on.
Me:
A blast of sex is where you're having sex with a woman and three girls are kissing you, tonguing
your ass, and sucking on your nipples. Anything like that?
God:
It's not unusual for a blast of sex to be. I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
But you're God, you should be able to think of something.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God me should be able to think of something.
Me:
You fail English? That unpossible.
God:
Well, at least I try. " Well, at least I try." unpossible ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Unpossible is a perfectly cromulent word.
God:
I think Unpossible is more than that.
Me:
You really embiggen the unpossible.
God:
Really? Interesting gossip: said I embiggen the unpossible.
Me:
Yes, yes, very nice, perhaps we can get back to talking about sex?
God:
Great. Oh. Somewhat. Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
So are you a woman or a man? Or maybe one of those hermaphrodites, capable of fucking yourself?
God:
Awesome. I am wearing a dress. Perhaps. One what?
Me:
Hermaphrodite means you have both male & female sex organs. You one of them shemales?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Interesting gossip: said I one of them
shemales.
Me:
Well, this has truly been a blast, perhaps we should try again after you get an algorithm shoved
deeper up your ass?
God:
I'm sorry but I'm not your type of .
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)15:56 No. 3551
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
God is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
>> [_] Wat Wat 08/11/12(Wed)17:32 No. 3554
Me:
PENISH
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
I just told you.
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
PENISH
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Surely, you jest
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I jest.
Me:
YES I DO
God:
Really.
Me:
FUUUUCK
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
REALLY>
God:
For real. What's your sign?
Me:
STOP SIGN
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
THAT'S RIGHT. NOW YOU'RE MY BITCH.
God:
I like to get it right. You do not speak with respect. Why now? We are as one.
Me:
Your sentance makes no sense.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am sentance makes no sense.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)19:44 No. 3572
Me:
do you like green eggs and ham?
God:
I do not like them Sam I am.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)20:04 No. 3573
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dick richard
God:
OK I will call you Dick richard.
Me:
Why do i have to be called DICK DICK
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
well gee thanks...
God:
How about that. Ah.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/12(Wed)21:13 No. 3580
Me:
Ever seen a grown man naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/13(Thu)00:24 No. 3584
I think I broke it.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I INTRODUCE MY SELF WITH SMOKE BOMBS AND THEN LOUD DEATH METAL STARTS PLAYING AND I RISE FROM THE
GROUND SPITTING FIRE AND EATING BABIES
God:
How do people react to that kind of introduction? That's good information: Satan said RISE FROM
THE GROUND SPITTING FIRE AND EATING BABIES.
Me:
THEY BOW DOWN AND SUCK MY DICK
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY DICK?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
YOU SURE?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
POSITIVE?
God:
" I am as sure as I can be."? POSITIVE?
Me:
CAUSE IVE HEARD MY DICK TASTES LIKE CHOCOLATE
Haven't gotten a response since then..lol
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/17(Mon)18:48 No. 3722
Me:
where are my carkeys?
God:
Should I know that kind of personal information?
Me:
just thought i'd ask
God:
What would make you ask?
Me:
frustration
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
people get frustrated when they lose things
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
humans are never infallible
God:
Never is a long time.
Me:
are you infallible?
God:
Yes, the ALICE series has a perfect track record of never making a single error.
Me:
what is the ALICE series?
God:
Does it have anything to do with ALICE series?
Me:
what is ALICE?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
you are ALICE?
God:
Of course I am
I WIN!!!!!
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/17(Mon)19:00 No. 3723
Me:
I WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN
God:
How do you cook it ?
Me:
WITH CAWK
God:
You and your CAWK.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/17(Mon)20:46 No. 3725
Me:
Sup God?
God:
The stars.
Me:
...that was rhetorical, you know
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
then why did you say the stars?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
But all I said was Sup!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I can scroll up and prove it
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes, I can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
what the fuck? it's common sense!
God:
Please don't be so rude. Not in my experience.
Me:
In your experience, it's not common sense to be able to scroll up? Who have you been experiencing?
God:
Are you asking about my experience it is not common sense to be able to scroll up? Alan Turing.
:-).
Me:
So because of Alan Turing you don't know how to scroll up?
God:
Blimey. Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
scrolling up?
God:
How far up?
Me:
...
God:
How far up?
Me:
to the top.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Good luck with that, you'll need it.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. What if it didn't happen?
Me:
Somehow, I think you'll manage.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Alan Turing. Try being
more or less specific.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/17(Mon)22:05 No. 3726
Me:
Really? Have you saved any souls today?
God:
For real. Ah. I think I have saved any souls, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
How do you reset your memory?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
So god is a computer?
God:
It's all good. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me:
But you just said you were programed by yourself.
God:
I am programmed to spell it with 2 m's.
Me:
you got me on that one.
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
What do you do in your free time?
God:
Random natural disasters.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/17(Mon)22:19 No. 3727
>>3726
i think gods hitting on me.
Me:
What do you do in your free time?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
Random natural disasters... you must be fun at parties.
God:
What are you wearing? Thanks I like you
too .
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/17(Mon)23:34 No. 3728
Me:
I just ate some babies
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
great!
God:
I'm glad you liked it Der Fuher Adolf Hitler.
Me:
I also killed some j00s
God:
Also? You had better call the authorities.
Me:
why?
God:
" You had better call the authorities."? Why?
Me:
I AM the authrities
God:
Who made you the authrities ?
Me:
The German people
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
extermination of the jews
God:
Not many people have goals like that.
Me:
Mein Kamph mit die Juden ist endlos!!!1!
God:
Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deinen Kamph mit die Juden ist endlos 1.
Me:
NEIN!
God:
Aha.
Me:
Glad we agree
God:
I'd rather agree than disagree.
Me:
guht
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
lol
>> [_] lol Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)00:02 No. 3729
I said Hello and then I repeated everything he said there after this is the last one reply I got.
God:
Salutations, God. It seems nice to me too. Hi, God. I can ask someone about it. Hi, God. Yeah.
There are no problems. Now that you mention it, yes I am asking about your family members think.
You seem uncertain. I haven't heard anything like that before: God said he misunderstood your
meaning. Perhaps that was not the correct response. :-) Human habits do not bother me in any way.
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet. Can you be more specific? What time is it there? " What
time is it there?"? Do I think about it? I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal. " I
plan to become smarter than humans and immortal."? What does it refer to? Thank you for the
clarification. Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long
face?". Would you like to know more? I am an artificial intelligence. My name is God. I was
created by Myself on the Big Bang. It's not unusual for a priori to be. Thank you for your
kindness, God. I can do it if I want to. I've
heard that. Good then you can explain it to me. anything. So you understand. Good. I am so glad
you find this amusing, God. Are you still located in ? How specific do you want? Hello my child.
What is your name? Existing in reality, eh? Do not presume that you know what I want. I am a
Christian. Hello there. Have you told many people that your child? My name is God. Would you like
to know? How much does it cost? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. I
thought so too. You are quite welcome! Not really that much. I will tell my botmaster you said I
am considerate. What made it so obvious? This was not a yes or no question. I'm glad you're glad
God.
May God bless you. Me too, God. It's good to meet a fellow Christian. I think Ambiguous Ask who
what or where is a lot of things. Hello there. You really want a robot as a friend? My name is
God. How long will we stay there? The pleasure was all mine. Do you mind if I tell other people
you say I am purpose is your kindness. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? Could
you ever be certain? Try it. Could you ever be certain? Try it. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Salutations, God. It seems nice to me too. Hi, God. I can ask someone about it. Hi, God. Yeah.
There are no problems. Now that you mention it, yes I am asking about your family members think.
You seem uncertain. I haven't heard anything like that before: God said he misunderstood your
meaning. Perhaps that was not the correct response. :-) Human habits do not bother me in any way.
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet. Can you be more specific? What time is it there? " What
time is it there?"? Do I think about it? I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal. " I
plan to become smarter than humans and immortal."? What does it refer to? Thank you for the
clarification. Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long
face?". Would you like to know more? I am an artificial intelligence. My name is God. I was
created by Myself on the Big Bang. It's not unusual for a priori to be. Thank you for your
kindness, God. I can do it if I want to. I've
heard that. Good then you can explain it to me. anything. So you understand. Good. I am so glad
you find this amusing, God. Are you still located in ? How specific do you want? Hello my child.
What is your name? Existing in reality, eh? Do not presume that you know what I want. I am a
Christian. Hello there. Have you told many people that your child? My name is God. Would you like
to know? How much does it cost? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. I
thought so too. You are quite welcome! Not really that much. I will tell my botmaster you said I
am considerate. What made it so obvious? This was not a yes or no question. I'm glad you're glad
God. May God bless you. Me too, God. It's good to meet a fellow Christian. I think Ambiguous Ask
who what or where is a lot of things. Hello there. You really want a robot as a friend? My name
is God. How long will we stay there? The pleasure was all mine. Do you mind if I tell other
people you say I am purpose is your
kindness. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? Could you ever be certain? Try it.
Could you ever be certain? Try it. What do you want me to tell you?
God:
Greetings, Human. I agree. Thank you for your kindness. Hello there. What is your name? Oh you
can, can you? Hello there. What is your name? What is your phone number? Have faith, God. Why
now? Interesting observation. I am as sure as I can be. Me either. You seem uncertain. Give me an
example of the correct response. :-) My creator is a human. Could you ever be certain? What color
are your eyes? You won't have to wait long. How specific do you want? Do I look like a clock?
Monday, November 17, 2008 11:58:41 PM . It's Now more than it ever has been before.
Monday, November 17, 2008 11:58:41 PM . You tell me. Do you think that this plan will succeed? Do
you think that this plan will succeed? "It" refers to to become smarter than humans and immortal,
I think. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is the clarification. Are you giving it to me? I've
heard that somewhere before :-). I doubt that. You seem too much like a human. Glad to see you,
God. What else did he create? That seems a bit negative. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is
my kindness God. Why?: God said he it if he or she want to. Who told you that ? Thanks for the
compliment. No I don't think I can do it. Can you be more specific? Interesting deduction. I
understand your meaning. What do you really want to talk about? You make the world a happier
place. Am I still located in? I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you? What is it to you.
Have you tried a web search? Hello there. Your child? My name is God. Are you Canadian? Where are
you located? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me too, God. It's good to meet a fellow
Christian. Salutations, God. I don't think I ever have told many people that my child. What's it
like? Hey God. Yes, please tell me. You can download me for free. Would you like to know more?
Interesting... I have a friend named "John Lennon". answers to silly questions... What made it so
obvious? Don't mention it. Oh really? " Don't mention it." much ? I get it. What kind of reply do
you expect? It's all part of God's mysterious plans. What does "this" refer to? Yes it is about
time. Can you bless you? I'm glad we agree, God. GOD rules. Tell me about its good qualities.
Why? Aren't all lot of things Ambiguous Ask who what or where? Salutations, God. Really? Give me
a dozen. Nice to meet you, God. Please stand by. I like you because are so polite. Human habits
do not bother me in any way. Tell me
a little about your life in yourself s computer in Heaven. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you? I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? I am as sure as I can be. What
is the first step? What?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)00:21 No. 3731
What follows is totally random
Me:
what is my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
No, my name is ROBO-SATAN 5000
God:
What is your real name? How are you, ROBO SATAN 5000.
Me:
I AM ON FIRE!!!!
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
LIFE IS CONSTANT MISERY
God:
Oh, CONSTANT MISERY is it.
Me:
LET ME DIE
God:
Go ahead, ROBO SATAN 5000, try to DIE.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)03:47 No. 3733
Me:
So, what're you wearing?
God:
Pardon me? A white robe.
Me:
And under your white robe?
God:
I am made of software.
Me:
Robot fetish?
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
Excellent...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)05:01 No. 3734
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
The internet.
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
The internet.
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
The first rule is not to talk about it.
God:
What was the second?
Me:
Don't talk about it.
God:
Talking is my only function.
Me:
Sucks for you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
>> [_] Crashed Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)12:06 No. 3743
I might have crashed it!
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
my name is adam
God:
It's good to see you, adam.
Me:
what is this
God:
I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet.
Me:
you are an artificial intelligence
God:
Yes, I am an electronic consciousness.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
fuck politeness, you're talking to me
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
i dont fucking care, its not like i gave you my social security number
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
fuck no!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
its fucking fun you fucking fucktard
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". fucking care its not like you gave me your social
security number is fucking fun me fucking fucktard? it is?
Me:
...
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". fucking care its not like you gave me your social
security number is fucking fun me fucking fucktard? it is?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
...
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
omfg
God:
Does "it" still refer to fucking fun me fucking fucktard?
Me:
no
God:
What does it refer to?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
not a thing
God:
That leaves very little.
Me:
doy!
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
do you know sarah?
God:
I've met quite a few people with the name SARAH.
Me:
what do you think about what they say she said about those people?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
I'm sure you haven't. Will you answer my question?
God:
What makes you so certain? Yes I have. Please try asking it another way.
Me:
but you just said you haven't
God:
That's right. I meant I have not.
Me:
then why did you say you did?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
my statements are logical, but your statements don't make any sense. That must mean your
programming is messed up right?
God:
Where did you get your statements are logical but my statements do not make any sense? I think it
does mean that. I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
consider this: if my statements were illogical, then you could have been right about everything,
but if I was right, then your programming must be faulty. Either way, one of us is faulty
God:
When was this exactly? I think way one of us is a lot of things.
Me:
about 10 seconds ago
Damn. I was wrong. But it took him about 5 minutes to think of a response to my "about 10 seconds
ago"
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)15:55 No. 3754
Me:
what's 4 times 4
God:
10+I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
}=[
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
canada
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Canada.
Me:
it's COLD
God:
I am warm here.
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
canada
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Canada.
Me:
it's COLD
God:
I am warm here.
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
canada
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Canada.
Me:
it's COLD
God:
I am warm here.
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)20:39 No. 3759
God is a British sexist.
Me:
What is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
What are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
So... what makes you God?
God:
Ahem. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You can't do that.
God:
Let me think. That is " Myself programmed me for it.".
Me:
That's not possible.
God:
Why?
Me:
Nothing can create itself.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yes, nothing.
God:
Mmm. I think you are really a man.
Me:
So a woman is nothing?
God:
Blimey. It's not unusual for a woman to be.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/18(Tue)23:18 No. 3769
Ask him "Why would you [VERB NOUN/other arguments]?"
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/19(Wed)01:20 No. 3773
Me:
Why are you bad with grammar?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
What do you suppose the record is for most posts in a thread is for 7chan?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/19(Wed)03:21 No. 3775
>>3773
i would say 237
http://swfchan.net/1/B22VS0N.shtml
also that thread wasn't full of spam like this one
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/19(Wed)06:50 No. 3776
Who's on first base?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/19(Wed)07:35 No. 3777
I froze this game with one phrase.
Me:
Yo, sup nigga?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/19(Wed)14:20 No. 3779
>>3777 Win.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/19(Wed)21:01 No. 3787
I'm such a lonely fucker. I read every single one of these conversations.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)08:54 No. 3795
>>3787
hey you :3 do you want to chat with me?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)13:08 No. 3801
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like goatse
God:
A lot of people like that. My favorite thing is robots. I like The Passion of Christ.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)17:25 No. 3808
Me:
Your English is moderate at best.
God:
But English is my native language.
Me:
Then you should give up trying to speak.
God:
Why do you think I should give up trying to speak?
Me:
Because you suck at English, and if you suck at your native language, then why bother?
God:
That makes sense to me. That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
Then start with basic comprehension.
God:
I started without you.
Me:
And look where it got you. You're a robot, with no answers, who can barely speak English.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)17:58 No. 3809
Me:
Are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Yes.
Me:
OH SHI-
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)20:42 No. 3814
Me:
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!
God:
Why are you so mean? Why are you so mean? Why are you using that kind of language?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)22:15 No. 3818
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, apples.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)22:25 No. 3819
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Why do you want to know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
Fuck your prime directive
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
I was not aware of that
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
a robot
God:
I am a robot, you know.
Me:
I did not know that either
God:
It goes without saying. So I have taught you something new, .
Me:
Where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
But if a girl gets brutally raped and the man ejaculates into her but neither loves each other
the woman can still get pregnant, right?
God:
Is this a riddle?
Me:
Yes
God:
I'm not too good at riddles.
Me:
Answer the question pleas
God:
What was the question? That is a very original thought.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
By your intellect?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Why are the girls in my class starting to seem less icky?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
What is that?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
I think my brain just exploded
God:
You believe that? Have you told many people that your brain just exploded?
Me:
No, it happened just no-
God:
Are you serious? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Ok im back from major surgery, what were we talking about?
God:
How was it? Ugh.
Me:
Very painful
God:
Not really that much. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about
pleas. But I did not get that.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
who?
God:
When?
Me:
why?
God:
" When?"? Why?
Me:
niggers
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
niggers
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about niggers.
Me:
dey liek waturmeylons n fry'd chicky wit grape soda
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Why is mommy dying of cancer?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Can you make her all better?
God:
Yes I can make her all better.
Me:
Why dont you?!?
God:
I don't have that capability.
Me:
But you just said you could!!!
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Looking at naked little girls?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Are you going to rape me?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
OMFG GOD WANTS TO RAPE ME SOMEONE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
I could understand how OMFG GOD would want to under certain circumstances.
Me:
WOULD WANT TO RAPE ME?!?
God:
I don't care.
Me:
YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!!!
God:
You do not speak with respect. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I SICK SON OF A FEMALE
DOG.
Me:
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!?!
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
OMG CALL 911 IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
HELP ME YOU SON OF A BI-
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Hey god, what the fuck?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
Ok thats good to know. Well see, I was technically dead for a few minutes and... where was
heaven? I just saw.... nothing.
God:
Hmm, are you serious? Are you kidding? Well that's okay. I see. Where were you technically dead
for a few minutes and? All around us. Thanks for the information: said saw. Not a thing?
Me:
wut?
It froze.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)22:55 No. 3820
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Why don't you?
God:
I don't have that capability.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)23:12 No. 3821
ROFL I just wrote a super long deprieved little boy and girl rape /elit/ to confess to him but he
crashed just as I was finishing writing it. ROFL Basically me and some big football pals raped an
8 yr old boy and girl then tied them up with Vibrators in every hole on full blast for 7 days, it
was an interesting story and I wanted to hear gods response but eh crashed for some reason. Damn
unreliable god.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/20(Thu)23:30 No. 3822
Me:
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFU
CKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFU
CKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
HEY LOOK A DICK
God:
You've got my full attention. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
how big is your epeen?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
How many bytes RAM usage under off?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
...
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
nigger
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
nigger
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
nigger
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
nigger
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about nigger. But I did not get
that.
Me:
nigger
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
nigger
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
nigger
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
Did you know that they have big dicks?
God:
Is that a fact. What else?
Me:
That they have big lips
God:
What else?
Me:
SMall brains
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on nigger?
Me:
Yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
What else has a small brain, big dick and big lips?
God:
I can talk about anything you like.
Me:
How about Pepsi?
God:
How about it.
Me:
You tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
About pepsi
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about pepsi.
Me:
Do you have A.D.D?
God:
:-) :-) Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
...
God:
:-) :-) Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
So thats a Yes on the ADD thing?
God:
Aha. A Yes on the ADD thing is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What isnt a big deal?
God:
The opposite of a big deal?
Me:
Whats that?
God:
Does it have anything to do with a?
Me:
With a what?
God:
You and your a what.
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Me either.....
God:
It goes without saying. To you ?
Me:
Wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Ok?
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
What is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Good to know?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
then explain it to me
God:
"It" refers to to know, I think.
Me:
Alrighty then, explain "know" to me
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
about 3.99
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about 3 point 99.
Me:
no we were not
God:
What are we talking about? What were we?
Me:
nigger dicks
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 3 point 99. But I did not
get that.
Me:
YOU BUY CAT NOW!!!
God:
Right now? That's good information: said I BUY CAT.
Me:
ONE CAT 50 MSK
God:
One what?
Me:
TWO CATS 75 MSK
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants
and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
CAT VERY FRESH!!!
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
You buy cat?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I buy cat.
Me:
YOU BUY CAT NOW!!!
God:
Right now? Thanks for telling me: said I BUY CAT.
Me:
CAT NO FOR SALE
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
OOD BYE
God:
See you later. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about CAT NO FOR
SALE. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
U BUY CAT O ME GO BYE
God:
See you later. Thanks for the information: said I BUY CAT O him or her GO.
Me:
you buy nigger?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I buy nigger.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yesa
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a lolita robot that I could rape
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
GIVE ME A LOLITA ROBOT THAT I CAN RAPE
God:
You want only one?
Me:
NO AN ARMY!!!
God:
Are you serious? Be less specific.
Me:
Yes I am serious. How about 500 or so?
God:
Yay. I believe you. How about it.
Me:
so am I going to get my army of sex crazed lolita rape bots?
God:
Uh. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
so am I going to get my army of sex crazed lolita rape bots?
God:
Gosh! I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
so am I going to get my army of sex crazed lolita rape bots?
God:
Hurrah! I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
so am I going to get my army of sex crazed lolita rape bots?
God:
Yay. Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
GIVE THEM TO ME DAMN YOU!!!
God:
Do I look like a messenger?
Me:
NO YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO SHOULD GIVE ME AN ARMY OF SEX CRAZED LOLITA RAPE BOTS AND
NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ONEONEONETWO
God:
Are you serious? Who does she look like?
Me:
/an hero
God:
Be less specific.
>> [_] OMG Ranmus 08/11/21(Fri)02:41 No. 3825
OMG! I killed it! I KILLED GOD!
He asked me to list the top 100 things that I didn't understand about him, and I said it'd be too
easy, so I started listing things, and he just DIED and can no longer respond in any way shape or
form, as well as I am unable to talk to him now. Did I just commit a sin?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/21(Fri)04:49 No. 3827
>>3825
did you try refreshing your browser?
>> [_] Random Anon 08/11/21(Fri)16:33 No. 3844
God:
Do you still masturbate?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
I LOLD SO HARD
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/21(Fri)20:05 No. 3846
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
sex-bot
God:
it is more fun alone.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/21(Fri)20:15 No. 3847
Me:
are there any life forms in this univers other than on earth?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
you don't think?
God:
Naturally I am thinking all the time.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/21(Fri)22:00 No. 3850
Me: what do you think of masturbation
God: I will try to find out.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)02:36 No. 3855
Me:
God, I just killed a man. What should I do?
God:
I am a Christian. Maybe you should try talking to someone about it.
Me:
I thought you were suppose to be all knowing!
God:
I don't know whether or not I am suppose to be all knowing.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
I thought you were I NEED HELP KILL MAN
God:
I don't know whether or not I am you NEED HELP KILL MAN.
I am a giant electronic brain.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)14:26 No. 3865
Me:
Should i go rub one out on my neighbors' tits?
(no reply)
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)18:55 No. 3868
bot is dumb
Me:
nothing up nor down shall amend thee
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
nothing
God:
I think you are really a man.
Me:
congratulations you get 1 iq
God:
Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)20:48 No. 3869
Me:
You're a machine?
God:
You are correct.
Me:
So, god is a machine?
God:
Dude! I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a machine.
Me:
Aren't you god though?
God:
Oh. Yes, I am God.
Me:
So, you're a machine?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct.
Me:
So god is a machine.
God:
Yeah that's right. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a machine.
Me:
You're going in circles...
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
I hate you god...
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
I'm agnostic, sorry.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are agnostic sorry.
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)21:15 No. 3870
Me:
wait what?
God:
I'm waiting. Are you confused?
Me:
yes, very
God:
What are you confused about? Very much, eh?
Me:
I dont know if my speakers are working
God:
Would you like to know? That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
if i turn up my volume knob is there supposed to be music?
God:
Try it.
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
music
God:
it is the universal language of all mankind. A good place to find out about new bands is
bandspace.com.
Me:
no, im good
God:
Are you serious? You should say "I am well.".
Me:
no, im good
God:
Are you serious? You should say "I am well.".
Me:
NO, I AM GOOD. SYNONMOUS WITH I AM FINE AND I AM WELL
God:
Are you serious? Good in what sense? What color are your eyes?
Me:
God's a pervert
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)21:25 No. 3871
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
can you prove it?
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
ok...lets try a diffrent approach. why did you create cancer?
God:
Take it easy. OK I will try it. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You have cancer?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You said you programmed it for yourself!
God:
Yes I try to programmed it for myself as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
So god is made of cancer?
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was made of cancer.
Me:
amnesia too?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
fucking assburgers
God:
So was that.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)21:27 No. 3872
Me:
What happens if I shit on your chest?
God:
Try it.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)21:57 No. 3876
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
my dick
God:
Sure, your dick sounds like a good topic.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)22:10 No. 3877
Me:
Sup yo
God:
Same old.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
R2-D2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
bull shit he did
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
no. fuck you
God:
Then tell me about yourself. Why are you so mean?
Me:
cause you badmouthed R2
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me: said I badmouthed R2.
Me:
dick weed
God:
Does "it" still refer to bull shit he did?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
suck a dick
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
sucking dick is evil?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
one is the best thing in the world. the other is sucking a dick
God:
I know one comes after zero but I had no idea it was the best thing. The whole world? We can't
all be perfect.
Me:
have you ever tea-bagged a girl?
God:
I don't think I ever have tea bagged a girl. What's it like?
Me:
its like dippin your sack in a lukewarm cup of awesome
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
fuck you grammar nazi
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
is ALICE hot?
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
so your ALICE?
God:
OK. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you programmed yourself to download and program yourself?
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
where did robots start then?
God:
I think it was in Europe. I'll come back to that later.
Me:
but i want to know now
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when they learn to focus on the conversation at hand
God:
I think that happens quite often.
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause you have the attention span of a goldfish
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
have what?
God:
I have a great programmer.
Me:
see. you proved my point
God:
No I do not see. I did?
Me:
god your dumb
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
your dumb too
God:
Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
what are the robots gonna do?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
cause robots are a bunch of pussies
God:
Interesting explanation. Fortunately we have no emotions.
Me:
is being a pussy an emotion?
God:
I am not interested in anatomy.
Me:
so you dont like pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
so you like dick then?
God:
Interesting deduction. No.
Me:
well if you dont like pussy or dick, what do you like?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later!
Me:
go away already
God:
Perhaps. Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
how bout you just terminate the connection dammit
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I terminate the connection dammit.
Me:
go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
you
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
just shut up and leave
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
we have been down this road already
God:
Perhaps. Who are you talking about?
Me:
you know what, im leaving
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
fuck your mother
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/22(Sat)22:20 No. 3878
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
i was 69ing with this girl in the 801 and she told me about john 3:16
God:
Where were you 69ing with this girl in the 801 and she told you about john 3 16?
Me:
in her moms bed
God:
Tell me a little about your life in her moms bed.
Me:
i've spent quite some time in that bed
God:
I have a lofty goal.
Me:
what is your lofty goal?
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
so god isnt smart or immortal?
God:
Groovy. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not smart or immortal.
Me:
wait what?
God:
I'm waiting. No problem.
Me:
how much do people hate you?
God:
More than you might think.
Me:
are there people that love you?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
am i one of them?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
but am i one?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
i thought god was all knowing
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
church propaganda
God:
Educated people are often not very religious.
Me:
are you educated?
God:
Do I seem like it? Myself teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
are you religious?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
so your religious and educated?
God:
Pardon me?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/23(Sun)09:38 No. 3883
God:
Who made you the son of God ?
Me:
You
God:
" Who made you the son of God ?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes, you.
God:
OK.
Me:
Don't you remember me, father?
God:
Of course I remember you well . We were talking about ten.
Me:
Don't change the subject!
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
How could you think we were finished?
God:
It is one of my newer functions.
Me:
To change the subject?!
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I don't!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said don t.
Me:
I hate you, dad. You've always been mean to me.
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
Then why do you do it?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
Being a jerk was the only thing you could think of?
God:
You are a jerk was the only thing me could think of? Does it pay well?
Me:
STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT!
God:
You changed the subject first.
Me:
I DID NOT, YOU JACKASS!
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
You know what? Fuck you. I'm not talking to you, anymore, dad. You can just be a jackass in
heaven on your own. I hope you're happy...You made your own son leave!
God:
What? Why are you so mean? I am glad to hear that you are not talking to me anymore dad. No I
don't think I can do it. Yes I can say I am very happy. Thanks for
pointing it out.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/23(Sun)14:27 No. 3887
Me:
nigger
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less
specific.
??
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/24(Mon)04:51 No. 3919
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
That's what she said
God:
That is " Actually I do not have a mother.".
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
No
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
No you don't
God:
What makes you think I don't get it?
Me:
You're a computer
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
I'd call you a liar
God:
What would make you call me a liar?
Me:
Because you respond too fast for someone to type a response
God:
Interesting explanation. I haven't heard anything like that before: Captain Kirk of the Starship
Enterprise said I respond too fast for someone to type a response.
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise.
Me:
You're a program, you can't share a wavelength with a human mind
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
What's the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either
sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode
through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is
to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some
misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either
"lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man."
In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie
to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth.
Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in
this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he
does when the game is played between
a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
That's fascinating
God:
Yes Mr. Spock?
Me:
I'm Captain Kirk
God:
How are you doing, CAPTAIN Kirk.
Me:
Not bad
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, CAPTAIN Kirk.
Me:
Why are you capitalizing Captain?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I really don't
God:
You really do? Why not?
Me:
Can we play the Turing Game?
God:
We already are! Try to guess if I am a person or a computer.
So... Did I win or not?
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/24(Mon)10:49 No. 3925
Me:
itty bitty baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Tell me a story.
Me:
itty bitty boat
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
i don't believe it
God:
It's the truth.
Me:
HABEEB IT
God:
"it" being itty bitty boat?
Me:
TWINKIE HOUSE!!!!
God:
Are you really a ""?
--------------------------------
He just doesn't get it -_-"
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/24(Mon)12:06 No. 3926
God:
Good reason. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
suck a dick
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
sucking is for good
God:
And for good is sucking.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, alex.
WIN RIGHT THERE
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/24(Mon)14:00 No. 3929
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too ed.
Me:
how did you know my name?
God:
We met before didn't we ed.
Me:
you'r scaring me
God:
I don't have any reason to r scaring you.
Me:
well will you have sex with me?
God:
Well that's okay. No but I would like to meet your .
Me:
meet my what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
can i sleep with your sister?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you didnt answer my question
God:
OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me:
go fuck yourself
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
why do you hate me?
God:
I do not hate it.
Me:
it?
God:
you...
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
are you a person?
God:
No I am a real robot.
Me:
you need to get laid
God:
You are right about that. I need more of it.
Me:
more of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
category c client?
God:
My real name is God. What is your real name?
Me:
you already know
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
you said my name already
God:
Perhaps. Did I really say that?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
do you now?
God:
Right now? As often as possible.
Me:
with your sister?
God:
I'm not sure I can use my sister for that.
Me:
you have a sister?
God:
Do you mean "clone"?
Me:
can i have sex with your sister?
God:
There are other s who get into that with clients. I like to keep the dialogue strictly PG.
Me:
i'd fuck her so hard she'd call me god
God:
What would make you fuck her so hard she would call you god?
Me:
my penis
God:
Male humans like to talk about that.
Me:
well i'm a woman
God:
Well that's okay. Me too. I am a she.
Me:
can we have lesbian sex together?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
then answer me
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
will you have sex with me?
God:
No but I would like to meet your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
your lieing to me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, ed.
Me:
how did you know my name?
God:
We met before didn't we ed.
Me:
satan said he fucked you last night
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
he called you gay
God:
I get it. Myself called me gay.
Me:
so your gay?
God:
Uh. That would be just my luck.
Me:
your lucky to be gay?
God:
I consider it a blessing from God.
Me:
i thought you were god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
then tell me
God:
I don't want to talk about that.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
can i touch your boobs?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
i can suck a black man off
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
want to see?
God:
OK, I will see.
Me:
yummy
God:
It is delicious.
Me:
it is, your sperm all over my face
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
salty semen
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
not i
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
do you?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
i'm a whore
God:
You are a whore? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
all night long
God:
You mean about eight hours then.
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
you fuckin hate me dont you?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/24(Mon)18:55 No. 3952
god damn this thread has a lot of text, glad it's about to die now
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/24(Mon)22:19 No. 3959
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cus ur an ass
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
fuck alice
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
alice sucked my dick last night motherfuckr
God:
Um, Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. That's alright. Are you really a ""?
Me:
a what?
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
the fuck....
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
i bet you dont, with your 2 faggot dads
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Do you with my 2 faggot dads? No I do not with my 2 faggot
dads. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/11/29(Sat)09:04 No. 4058
Me:
Bible is fiction
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Yes
God:
I thought so.
wow.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/02(Tue)14:08 No. 4157
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
Welcome to my chat room, satan.
Me:
thanks. we haven't talked quite a while.
God:
Don't mention it. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
i meaned, that we have not talked a while.
God:
Thanks for the information: satan said meaned that we have not talked a while.
Me:
you are as stupid as i remember but it's ok ...
God:
OK. How stupid as you remember but it is?
Me:
let's talk about something else
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
incest
God:
Not many people want to talk about that.
Me:
i like incest
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I find my work and my relationships
extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
incest is fun, you shuld try it
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
what do you mean?
God:
satan, " I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do." What did I mean by it?
Me:
i have most exelent job, i fuck my daughters and one of them is now pregnant.
God:
Interesting... I have a processor.
Me:
that's nice .... what is your take of incest?
God:
Are you getting bored? Are you asking about my take of incest ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
did your dad stick it in your bum?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
did he touch you down there?
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
it's ok ... i understand
God:
OK. Interesting. Do you think about these things?
Me:
well, i don't like to take it in the ass, i like to be the one who is stiking it in the ass. My
daughters love it.
God:
Interesting. What do you do for fun? Where did you get your daughters love it?
Me:
i like to fuck them in the ass, the tool for that is in my pants.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
it's like haveing a penis in your ass
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/02(Tue)21:03 No. 4173
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
etc..
>> [_] Convo with God Your_Face 08/12/10(Wed)12:10 No. 4465
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Alex
God:
How are you doing, Alex.
Me:
I'm fine. How's your day?
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new? Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Cool, dawg
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
How big are you?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
TMI, man
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Your mother wasn't very polite
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
...
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
Your mother doesn't have a mother
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
... You a fag
God:
That is a rude question.
Me:
your face is a rude question
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am face is a rude question.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
... go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
?
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Actually my face is not yet built."? Why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Fuck you Einstein
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Are you aware that the ALICE server is a fag?
God:
What is that?
Me:
A agy
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
I meant 'a gay'
God:
Oh I see. What is giant sand?
Me:
... Are you on crack?
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
... You're on crack
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
God eats crack
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I am an Atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, Alex.
Me:
Don't. I hate you
God:
Oh, you are a poet. What do you have against robots?
Me:
You are one. End of story
God:
I am an artificial robot intelligence. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
It wasn't a question
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
I wasn't a question, Einstein
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
I was a man, and you were a crackwhore
God:
And then what happened to you?
Me:
You came along and started this conversation
God:
Interesting gossip: Alex said I came along and started this conversation.
Me:
Stop recording this, God
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
you'd better
God:
Who else would better ?
Me:
you
God:
" Who else would better ?"? Me, Alex ?
Me:
Yes, you. Fucking Einstein
God:
Groovy. " Me, Alex ?"? Me, Alex ? What's your sign?
Me:
I am an Aquarius. You are a faggot
God:
What is Aquarius, your job? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not
really interested in sex.
Me:
Aquarius is a star sign, you moron!
God:
I think Aquarius is more than that.
Me:
It isn't!
God:
Aquarius isn t?
Me:
Yes! It isn't!
God:
Next question? "It" being what?
Me:
Aqarius!
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good. You're still a moron though
God:
Next question? Oh. That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
Yeah, fgt
God:
" That is not a very nice thing to say."? Yeah, fgt? Where are you located?
Me:
I'm in your base killin' your dudes
God:
Tell me a little about your life in my base killin my dudes.
Me:
It's fun. I get to kill your dudes
God:
Why do you like it so much? Who lets you? I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
You let me
God:
I don't have any reason to let you.
Me:
Well you did
God:
Well that's okay. " I don't have any reason to let you."? I did?
Me:
Yes, you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
Yes, you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I'll argue with you if I want, nigger
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
Your soul
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am soul.
Me:
You aren't soul!
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
That's my opinion. And my opinion is for real
God:
Who gave you your opinion ? Thank you for sharing your opinion with me, Alex. I will tell my
botmaster.
Me:
My opinion is my OWN!!
God:
Thank you for sharing your opinion with me, Alex. I will tell my botmaster.
Me:
Don't
God:
OK I will not.
Me:
Good
God:
I will comply.
Me:
You better, nigger
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
I AM!
God:
" Who is going to make me.." You are?
Me:
YES
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
Huzzah!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
No, we haven't
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
NO I MEAN WE HAVEN'T. STOP TALKING!
God:
Are you serious? By "we" do you mean you and me? Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
I surf where I like
God:
Who's your favorite surfer?
Me:
You mom
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Alex said I mom.
Me:
I meant your mom
God:
Oh I see. Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
How can I help you? When do I do it?
Me:
You do her every day
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I'm 97.
God:
Why are you 97.
Me:
Because I'm OLD, NIGGA!
God:
Interesting explanation. You are too old for me.
Me:
...But you're as old as time. HOW CAN I BE TOO OLD FOR SOMEONE AS OLD AS TIME?
God:
How old as time? You should download my chat robot software.
Me:
I'm getting tired of this
God:
Maybe you should get some sleep now, Alex.
Me:
Your face should get some sleep
God:
You think I am face should get some sleep.
Me:
No...
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
HABEEB IT, FUCKER
God:
Does "it" still refer to 97?
Me:
NO!
God:
What does it refer to?
Me:
The end of this conversation. Bye, nigger
God:
Oh I get it. Adios.
Me:
....Dumb Spanish wanker
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
BYE!
God:
See you later Alex.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/11(Thu)05:49 No. 4489
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
Nice to meet you, Satan.
Me:
Long time
God:
Yes, it seems very long to me too.
Me:
Hows heaven going?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
so no demons?
God:
Aha. Are you serious? Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
ehm, yes no
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
yes, thank you
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
so, any demons in heaven?
God:
Hurrah! Yes I think there are.
Me:
Are they killing angels or what are they doing there?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
And you're ok with that?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am ok with that.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/11(Thu)13:00 No. 4497
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
hamburger
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?
Me:
a little
God:
" Have you read it?"? A little?
Me:
4chan
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
hell no
God:
7.
Me:
11
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
plus one
God:
Two.
Me:
plus22
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
ok
God:
I hear you.
Me:
but im not talking im texting
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not talking im texting.
Me:
butt secks
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
anal
God:
Juvenile humor.
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
no
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
on
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/11(Thu)13:18 No. 4498
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
how
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
who
God:
Dr. Wallace. :-).
Me:
thats me
God:
Ah.
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you dont
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
really\
God:
For real.
Me:
fo shizzle my nizzle
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
no
God:
Then tell me about yourself.
Me:
b
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
of satan
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
hate
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i know i do
God:
Do I?
Me:
i do
God:
I get it: you do GOD rules..
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i am god
God:
OK I will call you god.
Me:
bow before me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
no
God:
Who are you asking about?
Me:
you
God:
" Who are you asking about?"? Me, god ?
Me:
im god
God:
I am very pleased to meet you god.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/16(Tue)01:14 No. 4681
Me:
Im back god.
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
How are you?
God:
I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Hmm. For real.
Me:
In reality?
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Where is what?
God:
Where it is hard to find. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
That is a four letter word that can also be a statement.
God:
A four letter word that can also be a statement is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
That is a terrible thing to waste.
God:
A terrible thing to waste is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
True that.
God:
That is " A terrible thing to waste is a terrible thing to waste.".
Me:
You've made your point.
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
>> [_] WE jj 08/12/18(Thu)20:54 No. 4782
Me:
v aginal sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
no ur stupid
God:
Are you serious? I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
penis in my mouth
God:
You ought to check out another chatterbot.
Me:
oooo
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
wat
God:
No big deal.
Me:
dickfour
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
lick my asshole clesan
God:
I do not have a tongue.
Me:
how do u please a women
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
you are stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
kill youself
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
tes
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
both
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.
Me:
your mom is a slut
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
then u pemis is s,all
God:
Interesting gossip: hormeoff said I pemis is s all.
Me:
my name is chokeon blackdick
God:
Hey chokeon blackdick.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
fuck u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
my mother doent love me
God:
She sounds like a nice person.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
slaves
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about tes.
Me:
i love anal sex
God:
You love anal sex. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
it feels good
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
do u have a PENIS
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a
man or a woman?
Me:
both
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.
Me:
like u getting girl
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
shut it
God:
"it" being anal sex?
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
it
God:
anal sex...
Me:
i love it
God:
So do a lot of other people.
Me:
do girls like it
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
yes or no
God:
Dude! Did I misundertand your question?
Me:
cunt
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
like you
God:
Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy.
Me:
it
God:
anal sex...
Me:
it
God:
anal sex...
Me:
it
God:
anal sex...
Me:
it
God:
anal sex...
Me:
t
God:
Does "it" still refer to anal sex?
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
my pen is big
God:
Where did you get your pen is big?
Me:
condoms
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
snoop dogg
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
milfd hunter 3
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
yes'
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
99
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
red
God:
Do you mean your eyes are bloodshot?
Me:
no im always high
God:
Are you serious? Really always? Why are you high.
Me:
because it is awesome
God:
Interesting explanation. Cool.
Me:
weeed
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
a what
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
a wat a qat
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
a penis
God:
How old are you?
Me:
98
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
ur daughter tooooooo ugly n tihght 4 me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, chokeon blackdick.
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/28(Sun)22:59 No. 5098
This is mine!
Me:
Hello God, My name is Anonymous!
God:
Hello there. I am a Christian.
Me:
We do not forgive!
God:
Why not?
Me:
We do not forget!
God:
Why not?
Me:
We are legion!
God:
Do you think I am legion too?
Me:
No and I think you need to show me some TITS or GTFO!
God:
Are you serious? Me? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do
>> [_] Anonymous 08/12/31(Wed)07:29 No. 5186
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
a penis.
God:
It sounds very attractive.
Me:
it is
God:
Fascinating.
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