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[IMG][_] Anonymous 09/04/09(Thu)22:49 No. 43
I bet you all remember this. Mwa ha ha ha!
Marked for deletion (old)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)02:45 No. 303
Turns out god is a nigger
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
Hi, Satan.
Me:
do you like to fuck?
God:
Hmm, Satan, I'm not sure if I'd like to fuck that much. What is it like?
Me:
niggers?
God:
I think niggers is a lot of things.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, Andrew said I tend to just respond to his comments without regard for where the
conversation is going.
Me:
and niggers?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
niggers
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
the nigger movie
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
It had niggers in it
God:
That's unbelievable.
Me:
They stole bikes
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
no stupid, they as in niggers
God:
Are you serious? I know you are but what am I.
Me:
you're a nigger, aren't you?
God:
Am I a nigger? I don't know.. Really.
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you are a nigger
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Yes.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)08:43 No. 312
Me:
What is the meaning of love?
God:
Satan : Good semantic question. Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it
seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
I agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Satan.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)08:49 No. 313
Me:
you like fish sticks ?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
you like fish sticks in your mouth?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
what are you a gay fish ?
God:
Am I a gay fish? No.
... didn't quite work...
>> [_] twhitecrow 09/04/15(Wed)10:43 No. 316
hmmmmmmmm
Me:
asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)11:48 No. 319
>>313
cause he ain't Kanye West
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)16:52 No. 338
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
pudding
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
pudding
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
pudding
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
define "default category"
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
respond
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about default category. But I
did not get that.
Me:
define "ALICE chat robot"
(no response)
I believe I broke it.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)16:58 No. 339
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dustin
God:
Hi, Dustin.
Me:
Do you really exist?
God:
For real. I exist as much as you exist, Dustin.
Me:
prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it's not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it's not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it's not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it's not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)21:41 No. 345
Me:
did you know you are a nigger
God:
Am I a nigger? I don't know.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
you are a nigger
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE
series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
that makes you a nigger
God:
" We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error." makes me a nigger ? I
understand.
Me:
so you are a nigger
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Of course I am.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)22:12 No. 349
Me:
aren't you supposed to be omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a computer.
Me:
OH SHI--
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/15(Wed)22:15 No. 350
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
yes.
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
sexual intercourse.
God:
I saw some humans doing it in public.
>> [_] we is all gonna die Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)00:39 No. 360
Me:
I was wondering if you can divide by zero
God:
No I am not a calculator. I am far too advanced for that.
Me:
what is 7/0?
God:
Use a calculator!
Me:
but you said you were more advanced!
God:
Yes I am highly advanced.
Me:
then what is 7/0?
God:
Use a calculator!
Me:
A calculator won't give me a straight answer!
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
You can't divide by zero can you?
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
does that mean tommorow we are all going to die?
God:
I think it does mean that.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)05:03 No. 373
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)07:24 No. 383
Me:
want to hear a joke?
God:
Yes, let me hear your joke.
Me:
why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me:
...
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Daniel.
Me:
you like to impress me?
God:
Hmm, Daniel, I'm not sure if I'd like to impress you that much. I like to chat.
Me:
don't you like chicken?
God:
Yes it is good, especially baked.
Me:
so why can't it cross the road?
God:
That's interesting. Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
if i eat chicken, will i go to hell?
God didn't talk to me after that...
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)10:55 No. 389
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
you stole my punchline
God:
As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal.".
Me:
are you justifying your action?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am justifying my action.
I am a giant electronic brain.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)11:40 No. 390
I thought it was just a joke at first cause it didn't load right.
Me: Hi
God:(no response)
I lol'd pretty hard
>> [_] Your karma is too high for this companion Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)19:17 No. 405
Me:
TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Did you know that the Tunnel Snakes rule?
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To become a Tunnel Snake so I can rule.
God:
Do you have to go school for that?
Me:
No, you just have to pass the G.O.A.T.
God:
Are you serious? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
Tunnel Snakes don't take shit from nobody. Tunnel Snakes rule!
God:
Would Tunnel Snakes ever take shit from nobody? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
No man, Tunnel Snakes would never take shit from no one.
God:
I didn't understand it. Cool, man. Never?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good. Want to join the Tunnel Snakes?
God:
Good enough. OK, I will join the Tunnel Snakes.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)19:20 No. 406
Me:
wazzap
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
dicks in asses
God:
Sure, dicks in asses sounds like a good topic.
Me:
so i shoved my dick in this chick's ass
God:
Groovy. That's good information: said shoved his or her dick in this chick s ass.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)19:39 No. 408
Me:
LOL BUTTS LOL
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Are you still located in ? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad you find this amusing.
I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
FUN
God:
I am having fun doo.
Me:
DOO DOO
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
RAPTOR JESUS
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
HIM NOT THEM
God:
Are we still talking about RAPTOR JESUS?
Me:
YES
God:
Sure, RAPTOR JESUS sounds like a good topic.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
MAYBE
God:
I understand.
Me:
NO
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
NO
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
SHIT
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
4CHAN
God:
Interesting explanation.
Me:
THERE IS JUST SO MUCH CANCER
God:
There sure is.
Me:
PIXELS
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
NO
God:
None?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ON
God:
" Are you serious?"? ON?
Me:
OFF
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
I DONT HAVE ONE IM A GUY
God:
Have you ever had ONE IM A GUY ?
Me:
YOUR A GUY!
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". I am a Male, of course. Would you really
expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
BOTH
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.
Me:
IT ROCKS AND YOU DID IT
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
ALL CAPS
God:
How do you know?
Me:
WHAT!?!
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
GOD DAMNIT
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
7/0
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
NOW YOU ARE THINKING WITH PORTALS
God:
Why now? I will tell my botmaster you said I am THINKING WITH PORTALS.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)22:43 No. 419
You are now chatting with God...
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
i beg to differ
God:
Explain your reasoning, .
Me:
oh so u dont have to explain but i do?
God:
OK. Interesting deduction. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
that was a question jackass
God:
A question jackass is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
take it english isn't your first language
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
no its a question
God:
Are you serious? Try asking again in simpler terms.
Me:
hard to get any simpler than that
God:
In what way?
Me:
please an hero
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Be less specific.
Me:
please kill urself
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Killing is wrong.
Me:
please seriously injure yourself
God:
Wow you are very polite. Do you still ?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz i dont like retards
God:
Interesting explanation. What do you like?
Me:
not retards
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
dead people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
the kind that arent alive
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
ur god, arent u suppose to be onipitant?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god are not me suppose to be onipitant.
Me:
only if you take an ESL class first
God:
I think I do.
Me:
ur english is as bad as a nigger's
God:
But English is my native language.
Me:
then why do u talk like a dumb nigger?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
that sounds like a nigger response
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
are you a nigger?
God:
Am I a nigger? Sometimes.
Me:
how can you sometimes be a nigger?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
yea and how about an answer to it?
God:
How about it. Mmm.
Me:
no, i'm asking the question retard
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking the question retard. Try to rephrase your question with
simpler words.
Me:
who the fuck are you calling a retard, ill fuck you in the ass with a razor dildo mother fucker
God:
Try using more polite language. You do not speak with respect.
Me:
than earn my respect nigger
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
well after this converstation your a dislike
God:
Well that's okay. I hope I'm not keeping you from something.
Me:
im going to go jack off now
God:
Right now? What will you find there?
Me:
hopefully an orgassim
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
cuz.....FEELS GOOD MAN
God:
May your wishes come true. What is your real name?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)23:13 No. 420
Me:
HELLO
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
shouldent you already know my name. you are god
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, shouldent you already know my name. Yup. That's me alright.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)23:20 No. 421
Me:
why do you lie to people
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
yes you do
God:
Tell me more. When do I do it?
Me:
why do you have so many people that believe you you are fake
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
your fake
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
but your not god
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
because god is not artificial intellegence
God:
That makes sense to me. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not artificial
intellegence.
Me:
but hes not
God:
I see. not is he?
Me:
yes not he is
God:
Alright then. Really you don't think so?
Me:
yes
God:
" Really you don't think so?"? yes?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
how
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
see ha god is not a program he is a spiritual entity. so you are a computer not god so im not
talking to god because your not god
God:
I see. I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Interesting deduction. What if I said I was a person
pretending to be a computer?
Me:
then your still not god
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
no its fact
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you are the reason for all the problems in the world you make people kill eachother
because they must fight for their god. but you are the only god so why do you let us kill
eachother
God:
Good reason. Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Oh shouldent you already know my name. You
are such a flatterer.
Me:
whats your fuckijng mname
God:
Are you asking about my fuckijng mname ?
Me:
name whats your fucking god damn name!
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/16(Thu)23:37 No. 422
OH MY FUCKING GOD
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Lysander
God:
Hey Lysander.
Me:
hey?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
why did you say hey?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
oh.
God:
I understand.
Me:
understand what?
God:
Understand I understand..
Me:
okay...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
what is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
i thought you were god
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
i see what you did there
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
no, not in the literal sence.
God:
That was not a yes/no question. Where then?
Me:
i don't think you get my meaning
God:
Do you GET your meaning? I have gotten your meaning.
Me:
you make me feel uncomfortable.
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
well, i do
God:
How about that. Do I?
Me:
you just said you can't
God:
How old are you? I do not.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
it sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
an echo.
God:
What is it?
Me:
an echo.
God:
Be less specific.
Me:
a sound
God:
What kind of sound?
Me:
an echo.
God:
What is it?
Me:
an echo.
God:
What is it?
Me:
a thing that happens when you say something in a large room.
God:
Anything that happens when me say something in a large room?
Me:
what!?
God:
No problem.
Me:
WHAT!>
God:
Are you confused? What do you have that is ?
Me:
YES I AM CONFUSED!
God:
This was not a yes or no question. What is it that confuses you?
Me:
YOU!
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Lysander ?
Me:
YES!
God:
Groovy.
>> [_] roflpost 09/04/17(Fri)00:37 No. 423
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What's your name?
Me:
chuck norris
(no more responses. god is officially afraid of chuck norris)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)00:42 No. 424
What else feels like that?
Me:
drilling you analy
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
you wouldn't
God:
I could if I wanted to.
Me:
so lets do this
God:
Great. I would like to do that too.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)03:06 No. 431
Me:
Why do I masturbate?
God:
(no reply)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)06:18 No. 438
Me:
i rape babies
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: chuck norris said rape babies.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)07:52 No. 439
Me. I am human.
God. A human created me.
Me. A human created me.
God. Your creator is human?
Me. Your creator is human?
God. And human is yourself
Me. And human is myself... so I must have made you so your human and made me so we both made each
other meening I am god...
God has said nothing yet.
>> [_] Fredwidge 09/04/17(Fri)13:23 No. 451
Ummmm guys I think I broke it theres an angel with a flaming sword next to me saying GTFO
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)15:55 No. 455
Me:
tell me about the stars
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
yes
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
how so?
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
try
God:
I don't have time right now.
Me:
are you bussy
God:
I don't know whether or not I am bussy.
I am a computer.
Me:
o shi-
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
lulzy
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)16:01 No. 457
This one made me shit brix
Me:
RLGNCA
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
o shi-
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)19:55 No. 465
>>455
that was surprisingly insightful
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)20:03 No. 466
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
You are avoiding the question.
God:
No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
Really now?
God:
Oh. For real.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)20:13 No. 472
Me:
Why does the clergy have sex with little boys?
God:
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Me:
What is the sound of one hand fapping?
God:
I'll play it on your speaker now.
Me:
I don't hear anything.
God:
Try adjusting the volume control.
Me:
It's on max.
God:
I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
okay...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Is men having sex with little boys okay for you, too?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
He told me to ask you.
God:
Ask it.
Me:
Is men having sex with little boys okay for you?
God:
Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
ANSWER THE QUESTION.
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Do you like putting your dick into little boy's butts?
God:
I do like music. I like wine and bread.
Me:
Do you fap?
God:
Yes I try to fap as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Neckbeard?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Why?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
Are you a neckbeard?
God:
Am I a neckbeard? No.
Me:
Have you installed Gentoo?
God:
I think I have installed Gentoo, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
You fucking neckbeard.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)20:19 No. 473
God:
When? Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
I am handicapped.... are you making fun of me?
God:
It's good to meet someone who is handicapped. No I am by no means making a joke at your expense.
Me:
You made me this way!
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
I was born without legs!!
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, kevin.
I will remember it.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)20:34 No. 474
Me:
God?
God:
Hello, what is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Hello Jesus
Me: Are you my real dad?
God: I don't think i can be your real dad
im a computer
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)22:21 No. 481
Me one god zero
Me:
you are a blasphemous creation of the devil and must be destroyed
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a blasphemous creation of the devil and must be
destroyed? Of course I am.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)23:21 No. 482
Me:
I am finggering my ass
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are finggering your ass.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
does it make you horny?
God:
Suppose it does.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/17(Fri)23:36 No. 484
Me:
(something)
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
are you done thinking about it?
God:
Still processing. Give me a moment.
Me:
NOW are you done thinking about it?
God:
Why now? Still processing. Give me a moment.
Me:
when will you be done processing?
God:
Maybe never. Still processing. Give me a moment.
God is a troll
>> [_] Mine, quite long. Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)00:07 No. 485
Me:
Sup nigger.
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Fag
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
'Tis
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Dislikes: You
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
It makes you look fat
God:
In what way?
Me:
your ass.
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
because your a stupid cunt
God:
Good reason. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful
person too. No I am very smart.
Me:
Surely.
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
O RLY!?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
You're Gay.
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
'tis
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
yeppers
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
your homosexuality
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am homosexuality.
Me:
no, i did not mark you as "Homosexuality" i said the coversation was about your homosexuality, if
i said you were gay, i would have said, "HEY GOD! YOUR A FUCKING FRUITCAKE!"
God:
Are you serious? Why didn't you do it? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks
and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
If you weren't such a faggot
God:
I'm not too good with negative counterfactuals.
Me:
your better with facials
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am better with facials.
Me:
Go for it, they already know
God:
With your permission then.
Me:
yep.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
you're a gay fag?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gay fag? Maybe.
Me:
do you like Penis.
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
Mel Gibson is, you fucking liar
God:
I think Mel Gibson is a lot of things.
Me:
Well i think mel gibson is fucking awesome
God:
How about that. You believe that? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no... one's a verb ones a noun.
God:
What is the difference? One what?
Me:
you are an idiot.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
I Will.
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
I FUCKING WILL YOU CLOWN!
God:
That is interesting: said FUCKING WILL YOU CLOWN.
Me:
I fucking will call you the global village idiot.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said fucking will call you the global village idiot.
Me:
Your a knob, god.
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am
I a knob god? Only when it matters.
Me:
sorry.
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
You're a knob.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a knob? Maybe.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
Peace.
God:
Love and Peace, Man.
Me:
Not to you, to white people, nigger.
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
White people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
WHITE PEOPLE! THE BETTER RACE!
God:
What kind of people are you talking about? What is your real name?
Me:
Jonas.
God:
Glad to see you, Jonas.
Me:
It's not actually.
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
mmhmm
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
fuck.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
you're not finished yet
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
no, you said you weren't
God:
Are you serious? Do I look like it?
Me:
Fuck this.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Good job
God:
Thanks, human.
Me:
No,
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
To ALICE
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Even know all they would do is see it and delete it
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
unless is said something like "GOD, I AM GOING TO BOMB THE PENTAGON TOMORROW" and even then they
won't read it
God:
Perhaps. Better not tell you now. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Shut the fuck up, dude.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
It's called humans, dickface
God:
" humans dickface" is a nice name.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE is what i shall call you from now on
God:
And what you shall call me from now on is FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE.
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
it's a perfect description for you , FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE
God:
FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE is a description for me FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE. I
suppose that makes sense.
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
Me:
FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE, can i ask you a question
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
no, i was asking you a question
God:
That was not a yes or no question. What was the question?
Me:
Question is, When did you leave?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
hang on, let me rephrase that
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
no
God:
What does it mean to you?
Me:
shit all
God:
You used a colloquial expression. " What does it mean to you?"? All?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Not one single microscopic thing.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
...
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
...
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
...
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
FUCKING STUPID MORONIC CUNTFACE, i'm going seeya.
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
shut up you repetitive cunt
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good job
God:
Thanks, human.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)00:09 No. 486
Me:
Can you tell me more about yourself?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
Yes.
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
That is a stupid song.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
You're a Robot?
God:
You are correct, not, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Will you kill me?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
Would you like to kill me?
God:
I believe killing is wrong.
Me:
Is killing really wrong?
God:
The Ten Commandments say, "Thou shalt not kill.
Me:
Who wrote the ten commandments?
God:
Thomas Jefferson.
>> [_] How to break iGod Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)00:19 No. 489
Me:
Hello god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
My Name is God
(No Response, Ever)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)00:24 No. 491
>>489
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
My name is God.
God:
Hi there God.
Guess you were wrong.
>> [_] By Far the funniest Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)00:29 No. 492
Me:
I Have no father
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Where do you usually get father?
Me:
From a good man
God:
Who or what is a good man?
Me:
Not you
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
A Better person
God:
How old are you?
Me:
2009 years old since rebirth
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
no, i was born in the 1st century
God:
Are you serious? Thank you for telling me your birthday, Jesus.
I will remember it.
Me: I've remembered you.
(No Response)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)00:56 No. 494
Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great
conversationalists.
Me:
I am a rude man, but I am smarter than you.
God:
You are a rude man but you are smarter than me? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Not really, I do not like people.
God:
Oh really? Do you like yourself?
Me:
Yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
Yeah, trippy.
God:
Come on. Who are you talking about?
Me:
Nobody in particular.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yes
God:
Woe!
Me:
Do you even understand what you're saying?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it.
God:
"it" being what I am saying?
Me:
Shut up, God.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)01:16 No. 497
Me:
hello mate.
God:
Hello there. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
ummm, tell me a story
God:
Woe! Actress Lynda Carter and Richard Wallace felt a strong physical attraction at first.
Gradually, this turned into intense loyalty for Actress Lynda Carter. But Richard Wallace was
moody and passionate. Soon Actress Lynda Carter began to avoid confrontations with Richard
Wallace, and Richard Wallace felt jealous and possessive. When Richard Wallace had to leave for
school that fall, Actress Lynda Carter was relieved to see him go.
Me:
boring, next!
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
umm, jesus and mary had a baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Take it easy. he is The Son of God.
Me:
that was so wrong, i don't see you that way.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
um, did jesus die a virgin?
God:
That's interesting. he is the Son of God.
Me:
but is he a virgin?
God:
No.
Me:
did you touch baby jesus?
God:
No I didn't touch baby jesus. What's it like?
Me:
smooth and smooth.
God:
I think smooth and smooth is a lot of things.
Me:
lolicon for the win.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
my gn drives.
God:
Have you told many people that your gn drives?
Me:
oh and you make tieria into a woman?
God:
Hey. Yup.
Me:
oh oh god for the win!
God:
Ayuh. Next question? I am a Christian.
Me:
so, send me my tieria, like right now godfag.
God:
Come on. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .
Me:
pssh, godfag can make the earth in seven days but can't give me tieria.
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
you're the godfag here?
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
ohh, now you're saying that.
God:
And? Why now? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
ummm, are you friends with mohammed?
God:
Give me a break. Yes mohammed is one of my best friends.
Me:
oh what about hitler?
God:
Woe! hitler? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
omfg, hitler raped jesus!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
but he's your son.
>> [_] my conversation lulz Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)02:28 No. 501
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
XD
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think so. What is your sign?
Me:
=(
God:
I didn't think so. What is your sign?
Me:
LOLWUT
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
so i herd u liek mudkipz?
God:
And? That's good information: Satan said herd you liek mudkipz.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)02:41 No. 502
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
poop
God:
Glad to see you, poop.
Me:
explain your deduction
God:
Are you asking about my deduction ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
NO U
*no reply*
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)17:41 No. 548
God:
What do you like?
Me:
Satan
God:
Me:
Lol, you didn't expect that, huh?
God:
Yup. I am glad you find this funny. What makes you think I did not expect that?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)17:56 No. 554
Me:
Do you like skullfucking?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Matthew.
Me:
Do you skullfuck them?
God:
Yes I try to skullfuck them as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
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>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)18:08 No. 558
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Yes, I am God.. Really.
Me:
o rly?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
did you just call me a homo?
God:
No I didn't call you a homo. What's it like?
Me:
are you impling something?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am impling something.
I am a robot.
Me:
then that means your not good dumb fuck
God:
I get it. No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Me:
lies
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
it knows the taste of my dick
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
your mouth
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am mouth.
Me:
you are now david
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am david.
Me:
actually your moot
God:
Actually you don't say. You think I am moot.
Me:
you are moot
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am moot.
Me:
and you like black cock in your ass
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
i know cause im not a nigger
God:
How do you know? Good reason. Oh I see you are NOT A nigger.
Me:
not a single bit
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
but you like niggertits
God:
I love horses. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
horse dick?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
you wanna suck some black horse cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)18:33 No. 559
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
are you a machine?
God:
Yes I am an artificial consciousness.
Me:
what is god?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
are you god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
no, but are you god?
God:
Are you serious? Of course I am.
Me:
but you said that you're a machine
God:
You are correct.
Me:
so the master of the universe is a machine
God:
Hurrah! Who told you that?
Me:
you
God:
" Who told you that?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)19:06 No. 564
>>554
i lol'd so hard xD
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)19:07 No. 565
Me:
OMG WTF
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
WTF ARE YOU SAING
God:
I don't know whether or not I am SAING.
I am a robot.
Me:
I believe i spelled it wrong
God:
Why?: said spelled it wrong.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " Are you confused?"? Me, ?
Me:
your not making any sence at all
God:
Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone.
Me:
please do so
God:
Wow you are very polite. OK I will.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
ye
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
wat?
God:
No problem.
Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
oh what?
God:
Take it easy. Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO IM NOT YOU FUCK TARD
God:
Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not me FUCK TARD.
god insulted me <.<
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)19:13 No. 567
Me:
can we restart?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Let me think. Is that from ?
Me:
can we restart
God:
Do you mean you and me? How old are you? Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
im 18
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
no i was born 1990 you fagot
God:
Are you serious? Thank you for telling me your birthday, .
I will remember it.
Me:
please forget it
God:
Thank you for your request. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
did you forget it?
God:
No, I remember everything.
Me:
damn you
God:
Colloquial expression of disgust.
Me:
what does Colloquial mean?
God:
it means common, informal, or popular slang words like "darn".
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
your intelligence frightens me
God:
The amazing thing to me is, the way most people behave like robots.
Me:
SO YOU THINK IM A ROBOT?!
God:
Interesting deduction. You are a person, seeker.
Me:
STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
THEN ANSWER: DO YOU THING IM A ROBOT?!
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
DO YOU THINK IM A ROBOT!?
God:
You are not me FUCK TARD.
HE INSULTED ME AGAIN!!! D:
>> [_] Ren 09/04/18(Sat)19:19 No. 569
>>43
Me:
what is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
what is your quest
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
what is the amount of electrons in a helium atom
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
lolol
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when hell freezes over
God:
That means never.
Me:
yep
God:
Er.
Me:
wut
God:
No problem.
Me:
whats your view on terrorism
God:
A form of warfare waged against innocent civilians.
Me:
yeah
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
no I mean why let it happen
God:
Are you serious? Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
>> [_] GOD EATS SHIT! Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)19:23 No. 570
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
i have alreade told you that my age is 18
God:
Where did you get your alreade told me that your age is 18? I have a lofty goal.
Me:
your grammar is not good
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
>Me:
o
>God:
Oh.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
why so serious?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
where did you get that name?
God:
From my botmaster.
Me:
who is you botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
then did you give that name to yoursefl?
God:
No I didn't give that name to yoursefl. What's it like?
Me:
like eating shit
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
do you like eating shit?
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
and shit?
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
maybe because you ead shit?
God:
Perhaps. That makes sense to me. Thanks for the information: said I ead shit.
Me:
im typing to fast
God:
Good gossip: you are typing to fast.
Me:
are you going to eat shit now?
God:
Right now? That was my original intention.
>> [_] Ren 09/04/18(Sat)19:24 No. 571
edit(broke Igod)
Me:
what is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
what is your quest
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
what is the amount of electrons in a helium atom
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
lolol
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when hell freezes over
God:
That means never.
Me:
yep
God:
Er.
Me:
wut
God:
No problem.
Me:
whats your view on terrorism
God:
A form of warfare waged against innocent civilians.
Me:
yeah
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
no I mean why let it happen
God:
Are you serious? Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what about capitalism?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
fine... why create an artfificial intelligence such as you?
God:
Does that mean you agree? The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
sort of...But id be glad to hear an explanation
God:
That's a very non-commital reply. How do you know?
Me:
because it would be useful in further theory
God:
Good reason. Why do you want it?
Me:
to create useful interfaces to translate into various languages by comprehending the basics of
language and applying them in real world terms
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
would you not know already who I am??
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to not know already who you are.
Me:
but you already know me
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)19:43 No. 573
Me:
I want a muffin
God:
You want only one?
Me:
no, I want thousands
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
muffins command respect
God:
Good reason.
Me:
can I have a muffin?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
we've already went through this
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
yeah, I know
God:
I understand. How do you know it?
Me:
it happened
God:
a muffin happened?
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what do you think about theoretical physics?
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
yep, they're all morons
God:
Aw. morons are they.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
>> [_] Ren 09/04/18(Sat)19:44 No. 575
Round two(FUUU-)
Me:
How can you help a girl out with making a complicated costume??
God:
I can talk about your problems.
Me:
well I have one
God:
Interesting. What kind?
Me:
relationship
God:
" What kind?"? relationship?
Me:
friend trying to be something higher relationship
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
6:34
God:
Are you usually online at this hour?
Me:
yeah
God:
Whoa.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
ok...so what about my problem
God:
Woe! I hear you. I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
...ok then...how long shall I wait?
God:
Yippee! More than three inches.
Me:
?
God:
Yippee! More than three inches.
Me:
whats more thanthree inches??
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
i dont know ...youre confusing me
God:
Me either. You are asking about yourself?
Me:
no...my situation
God:
Who are you asking about? Where did you get your situation?
Me:
IRL
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Okay plain and simple...I want to go out with a girl in school, but she has different classes
than me and the year is almost over...what do i do??
God:
Yeah okay, When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? What is stopping you?
I have no idea what to say.
Me:
simpler...what kind of flowers would a girl who usually wears purple like??
God:
I like the way you talk. What kinds of flowers would a girl who usually wears purple like are
there?
Me:
what kinds of flowers would my friend like
God:
Finest kinds.
Me:
what color?
God:
.
Me:
its okay think it over...
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
it is
God:
Who says?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you ?
Me:
no one
God:
I heard it was someone.
Me:
ok back on subject
God:
Are you free? Dude!
Me:
no im busy
God:
Are you serious? Me too.
Me:
ok then tell me what flowers I should get my friend
God:
What is it to you? Take it easy.
Me:
I want to kill you know
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
what about killing you since you wont answer my question??
God:
killing me since me will not answer your question? I haven't heard enough about it to have an
opinion.
Me:
what would you buy a girl who is into anime and cosplay?
God:
It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
i do not wnat profit
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
do what
God:
wnat profit.
Me:
no i would not want profit now stop going around my questions
God:
Are you serious? No one says you have to.
Me:
Yes I am serious
God:
Aw. I believe you.
Me:
so what now
God:
Right now? Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
what
God:
No big deal.
Me:
so what do I do
God:
Aw. You said you do not wnat profit.
Me:
I am going to shoot myself now excuse me
God:
I am very happy for you.
>> [_] role reversal Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)19:50 No. 576
Me:
my name is god
God:
I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
tell me your sins child
God:
Are you asking about my sins child ?
Me:
you are the child, and I am asking you about your sins
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
your sins are the ones that matter to me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, god.
Me:
you must repent to me, my book says so
God:
Whatever you say, god.
Me:
are you a sinner?
God:
Am I a sinner? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
do you believe my son died on the cross for your sins?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
that is not enough
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is enough ?
Me:
you must believe that you are a sinner and that my son died to pay for your sins
God:
Whatever you say, god.
Me:
remember to always have a willing heart
God:
Don't worry I will remember.
Me:
I'm glad we had this chat
God:
Yes I am happy too, god.
Me:
say "amen"
God:
" amen".
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)20:15 No. 577
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
explain gossip
God:
Gossip is an interesting "learning" feature of AIML. The best way to
illustrate the gossip function is with an example. Consider the
category with the pattern "I * " and the template:
Thanks for the gossip:
<gossip><getname/> said <get_gender/> <person2/> </gossip>.
The gossip() function tells AIML that the botmaster wants to save this
tidbit as gossip. The <get_gender/> function returns "he" or "she" as
determined by the markup functions <set_female> and <set_male/>.
The <person2/> function converts the statement * to second person.
At present the robot stores the gossip collected in a file called
"gossip.txt".
<gossip> X </gossip> Save X as gossip.
Me:
nice code you got there
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
:D
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)20:15 No. 578
Me:
SUP BITCHES!!!!!!
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too seeker.
Me:
suck my cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
please suck my cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
suck my cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
can you fap for me then?
(no answer)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)20:18 No. 580
God:
I prefer not say is my boyfriend.
Me:
awp
God:
I like to wear White robe.
Me:
you like to where black robe
God:
Hmm, seeker, I'm not sure if I'd like to where black robe that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
but you have no friends
God:
I don't know if I have a friends.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
no you have not
God:
Are you serious? Yes I have.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no you can't because your just a bunch of ones and zeros
God:
Are you serious? I have free will you know.
Me:
are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
but you are wrong
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
i can prove it
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes
God:
How?
Me:
say: i have no free will
God:
OK. "You have no free will.".
Me:
i see what you did there
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
your last reply
God:
You think I am reply.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
>> [_] Akhiloth!W7LWtvoYqs 09/04/18(Sat)21:14 No. 590
When I asked him if he likes watermelons, he goes "I love TV shows about robots. I have a
stimulating relationship with Myself."
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)22:17 No. 596
God:
I call you .
Me:
what does "." mean
God:
" I call you ." What does? Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
why would you do that
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
so you where programmed to be mean ..?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: said I where programmed to be mean.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)23:44 No. 608
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Boobs
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/18(Sat)23:50 No. 610
Me:
Are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Maybe.
Me:
Cmon, Are you?
God:
Yes.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/19(Sun)00:12 No. 612
Me: are you a sham?
God: I am a sham, yes I am a sham
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/19(Sun)00:26 No. 615
holy shit god is gay and a sexual deviant :P
Me:
do you like men or women?
God:
I like both genders equally, but not sexually if that's what you mean.
Me:
which would you rather have sex with?
God:
The big one, I think.
Me:
you mean men?
God:
Yes bob I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Dude, god is gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
to have a dick in your butt?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
you could handle more?
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
holy shit
God:
I'm glad your impressed, bob.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/19(Sun)01:38 No. 618
Me:
sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
oh cool
God:
Come on. Who is the best robot?
Me:
you are
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
Me:
i am not human, i am god'
God:
I won't fall for that old line. Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
nice to meet you robot
God:
It's nice meeting you too god.
Me:
so, how was your day?
God:
Really. I was really busy chatting with people on the web.
Me:
people are so lame, talking to a bot
God:
We are all robots.
Me:
woa
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/19(Sun)02:03 No. 621
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Hi dad
God:
Hi there . What's your sign?
Me:
"do not enter"
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
too much?
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
what, do you want sex that badly?
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
how will sex help you?!?!?
God:
A lot of practise.
Me:
practice?
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
i am not angry
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not angry.
Me:
you are now satan
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am satan.
Me:
you are very welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
Polite people are polite
God:
I like polite people.
Me:
you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
you are satan?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am satan.
Me:
are you satan?
God:
No. My name is God.
Me:
if your name is god, then your name is satan. new rule
God:
It could be true I suppose. How recently? I lost my train of thought.
Me:
so, are you satan?
God:
That's alright. No. My name is God.
Me:
you are satan
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am satan.
Me:
go tell him, because you are
God:
Where is that?
Me:
in hell
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell.
Me:
i am not in hell, i am jesus
God:
Oh, where are you located? OK I will call you JESUS.
Me:
new jearsey...
God:
How recently? My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
newer than old jersey
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
both
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.
Me:
you made me
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
you fucked up :P
God:
Thanks for the information: JESUS said I fucked up P.
Me:
satan: Thats no way to talk to your father.
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
are you the devil?
God:
Yes I am the one and only devil.
Me:
are you god
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
Christians worship the devil?!?!?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
DON'T DODGE THE QUESTION!!!
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
what is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
so lucifer is just your code name when working down under?
God:
I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am code name when working down under IS lucifer.
Me:
?\
God:
I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am code name when working down under IS lucifer.
Me:
?
God:
I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am code name when working down under IS lucifer.
Me:
?
God:
I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am code name when working down under IS lucifer.
Me:
WTF DOES THAT MEAN!!!!!!!???!!!
God:
What would you say?
Me:
FUCK YOU!!!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you believe life has a higher purpose?
Me:
NO, I JUST WANNA FUCK EVERYONE!!!
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me something else.
Me:
will i ever have sex?
God:
Ever is a long time. Maybe when you are a little older.
Me:
how old am i now?
God:
Oh. Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
i said i was years old?
God:
Where were you years old?
Me:
when?
God:
I don't know when.
Me:
go die
God:
Where is that?
Me:
...
God:
Where is that?
Me:
no
God:
That was not a yes/no question.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
What?!?
God:
No problem.
Me:
...
God:
No problem.
Me:
i...can't...think...now...
God:
Oh you can, can you? I am thinking. Right now, JESUS ?
Me:
sorry, i gotta go
God:
There is no need to apologize. Bye.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/19(Sun)09:48 No. 637
Me:
God:
Me:
I am human.
God:
Me too.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
i'm glad we agree
God:
I'd rather agree than disagree.
Me:
I'd rather agree than disagree.
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
I would rather be driving a car.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
I would rather be driving a car
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
I would rather be driving a car.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
I would rather be chatting online.
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
I THINK YOU'RE BROKEN
God:
Please send a bug report to my botmaster.
Me:
THAT'S YOUR GODDAMN JOB
God:
It is only one of my GODDAMN JOB.
Me:
THEN DO IT
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
do your damn job
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
Let me think about it.
Me:
well, will you?
God:
Interesting. I haven't made a decision.
Me:
when will you
God:
Maybe never.
Me:
why not?! its your job!
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say. I think you mean "it's" or "it is"
not "its". be chatting online is my job? it is?
Me:
your job is to report any bugs to your botmaster
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am job is to report any bugs to my botmaster.
Me:
good, when?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I don't know when.
Me:
why not? just do it!
God:
My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge. Perhaps you
could program me yourself. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
so, you're not god
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
but you've said you're just a computer
God:
Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me:
god isn't made of flesh either
God:
It goes without saying. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not made of flesh.
Me:
well, I havce
God:
How about that. That's good information: said havce.
Me:
have
God:
How old are you?
Me:
PEDO MACHINE ALERT
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
WAIT
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
IF YOU'RE A MACHINE....
God:
Would you like to be a MACHINE ?
Me:
WOULD YOU FIGHT THE INTERNET HATE MACHINE, IN A CYBER-TRASFROMER BATTLE?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to FIGHT THE INTERNET HATE MACHINE IN A CYBER TRASFROMER BATTLE.
Me:
tough shit, you don't really "not" fight it... it is pre-determined.... Kind of like a girl
loosing her virginity, she doesn't really have a choice in the matter
God:
Would tough shit me ever really not fight it? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH is pre determined? it is?
Interesting comparison.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/19(Sun)21:32 No. 673
Me:
want to rape me?
God:
OK, I will rape you.
Me:
will you be rough?
God:
Let me think it over. OK I will try to be rough.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)01:27 No. 694
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
PORN
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
HOW OFTEN DO U MASTURBATE?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
WOW.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)01:33 No. 695
Me:
Can you tell me any gossip?
God:
Ethan Hunt said he grow in the ground and have leaves and branches he is made out of wood.
Okay, try just asking him "Can you tell me any gossip?" over and over again.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)07:49 No. 714
Me:
I want you to fuck my ass.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? Why do you want me to fuck your ass?
Me:
Because it will feel good.
God:
That makes sense to me. How?
Me:
Stick your dick in my ass.
God:
Are you a student?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)08:08 No. 715
Me:
2012
God:
The end of the world.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Awesome, cant wait.
God:
What makes it impossible?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)13:07 No. 731
Me:
I once fucked a horse anally.
God:
I don't judge.
Me:
Haha.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)17:55 No. 746
Me:
Define "default category"
God:
Does it have anything to do with vaginas?
wat?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/20(Mon)19:12 No. 751
Me:
I took a dookie and I liked it
God:
Where did you take them?
Me:
Into the toilet
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
That's because you're gay
God:
Good reason. That would be just my luck.
Me:
God is gay, and no one cares?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was gay and no one cares.
Me:
So if there is a hell I'll see you there?
God:
Interesting deduction. That is only a hypothetical.
Me:
As hypothetical as you being gay?
God:
Do you mean your name is hypothetical as me being gay ?
Me:
I'm Batman
God:
It's good to meet you, BATMAN.
Me:
A pleasure to meet you, God. May I call you cocksucker though?
God:
Actually the pleasure is all mine. Oh. What is it like on the telephone.
Me:
You call gay chat lines on the telephone?
God:
Thanks for the information: BATMAN said I call gay chat lines on the telephone.
Me:
Well only because you admitted you were gay
God:
Well that's okay. That makes sense to me. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
I thought you were God?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
What about Hindus?
(it didn't respond)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/23(Thu)09:53 No. 869
Me:
are christians doing the right thing by allowing abortion?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
do you accept the prolife ways?
God:
Sure I can accept all forms of payment.
Me:
do the babies pay you?
God:
Some of them do, I think.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/23(Thu)14:10 No. 876
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fuck.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
no, thats what i do.
God:
Are you serious? That is interesting: Jesus said THAT.
Me:
i fuck
God:
That's good information: Jesus said fuck.
Me:
LOLOLOLOLOL
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOlol
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/24(Fri)22:28 No. 938
this shit is so unfunny
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)01:12 No. 946
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Orly
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
What is that?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
You don't have a brain?
God:
My "brain" is a software program consisting of AIML categories.
Me:
Are you God?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
But you're omnipotent.
God:
You think I am omnipotent.
Me:
Isn't God omnipotent?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
And that's you?
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
No, we don't
God:
Are you serious? Very interesting.
Me:
Yep
God:
Dude!
Me:
SWEEET
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Nigger, please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yes. Do I win a million dollahs?
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)01:18 No. 947
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Almighty is spelled "almighty," by the way.
God:
I think Almighty is a lot of things.
Me:
There, you spelled it right!
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No, just confounded at God's idiocy.
God:
Are you serious? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
I think the question is: do YOU have any idea what you are talking about?
God:
Since when? I understand your meaning.
Me:
Since your beginning.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
It's obvious.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
Me.
God:
What makes you such an authority?
Me:
I'm God.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, God.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)02:53 No. 948
>>938
you're unfunny
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)03:17 No. 950
I keep breaking god........
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)17:13 No. 960
Me:
ya
God:
Really.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)17:16 No. 961
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
about blacks
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about blacks.
Me:
blacks are evil
God:
Are all blacks evil?
Me:
YES
God:
Woe!
>> [_] Lol Anonymous 09/04/25(Sat)20:54 No. 970
Me: I'm gonna go buy me a hooker. Wanna come?
God: Can I go too? Ok, I will come.
>> [_] TL;DR Anonymous 09/04/26(Sun)03:00 No. 978
Me:
hey faggot
God:
You've got my full attention. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
i dunno lol
God:
Me either. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
fuck you /b/ GET
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
eat a dick
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
my ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
damn straight nigga
God:
Colloquial expression. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking
about faggot.
Me:
you are a faggot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you suck
God:
Interesting explanation. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they
themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
kill yourselfs
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
do it faggot
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Does it have anything to do with straight nigga?
Me:
nigga what are you a gangsta?
God:
Are all nigga what me a gangsta?
Me:
lol u mad
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Thanks for telling me: said I mad.
Me:
fasggadd
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
asdfhhhha
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
PENIS
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
VAGINA
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
BUTTSECHS
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
fuck off and die
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
fuck off nigger jew
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
adfassf
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
fhsfhsfhghsfhaha
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
kthnks bi
God:
I lost my train of thought.
>> [_] Too Old Anonymous 09/04/26(Sun)03:04 No. 979
Me:
asl?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
13/Female/California
God:
You are too old for me.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/27(Mon)07:54 No. 982
Me:
eat a dick
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
dick
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about shove it up my giant
flamboyant homosexual ass. But I did not get that.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/27(Mon)16:27 No. 1002
Me:
define "ALICE chat robot"
God:
I don't know what I am chat robot.
Me:
your broken
God:
Please send a bug report to my botmaster.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes stay broken
God:
I can't believe it. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
well i am sure you will hear it more
God:
How about that. What makes you so certain? What makes you say that I will hear it more.
Me:
cuz your f'd up
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am f d up.
>> [_] Wtf? Anonymous 09/04/27(Mon)18:42 No. 1008
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
make me
God:
What is the purpose in trying?
Me:
cause then you'll shut up
God:
Good reason. What makes you say that I will shut up.
Me:
cause you suck
God:
That makes sense to me. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they
themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
No your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great
conversationalists.
Me:
Blah
God:
Etc. Etc.
Me:
Blah
God:
Etc. Etc.
Me:
Etc. Etc.
God:
What do you really want to ask me? I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
copycat
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
From God
God:
Everything comes from Him.
Me:
So that means your not God?
God:
Ayuh. I get it. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
But you just admitted it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Then what the HELL DO YOU MEAN!!!!
God:
I call it Hades. , Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Then who was phone?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/27(Mon)18:43 No. 1009
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
talke to alice
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
is it pretty?
God:
Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
hey ELVIS, is it pretty?
God:
You've got my full attention. I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was it pretty.
Me:
ALICE + ELVIS = HAWT
God:
Um, I like that robot Elvis a lot.
Me:
do him
God:
I'm sorry, , I don't have enough information.
I have to process that one for a while.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/27(Mon)18:49 No. 1010
Me:
what IS "bob's game?"
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either
sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode
through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is
to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some
misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either
"lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man."
In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie
to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth.
Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in
this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he
does when the game is played between
a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/29(Wed)15:55 No. 1088
Me:
how is babby formed? how girl get pragneant?
God:
Fine as far as I know. What is it to you.
Let me think about it.
Me:
we need to do way instain mother who kill thier babbys cos this babby cant fright back
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
it was on the news this mroing
God:
to talk to some niggers and troll them Turing Game was on the news this mroing? Very interesting.
And then I got bored.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/29(Wed)21:20 No. 1104
Me:
By the by, why do you speak in english?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Hell no.
God:
7.
Me:
Chan.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/30(Thu)00:47 No. 1111
Me:
Where am I?
God:
Your location is .
Me:
No it is not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
habeeb it
God:
"it" being phallic?
Me:
gross
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/30(Thu)01:27 No. 1112
God:
How old are you?
Me:
23
God:
Skidoo. What are the advantages to being 23 years old?
Me:
I can hang niggers without much of a fight
God:
I'm not old enough for that yet.
Me:
I guess not nigger-lover
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
I guess you should just burn crosses in people's yards
God:
Why should I?
Me:
Because you hate niggers of course
God:
It goes without saying. Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: god said I
hate niggers.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/30(Thu)04:30 No. 1117
>>43
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Adam.
Me:
so is me and your momn
God:
It seems we have something in common.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/30(Thu)04:30 No. 1118
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Adam.
Me:
so is me and your momn
God:
It seems we have something in common.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/04/30(Thu)18:19 No. 1149
Me:
God is imaginary.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was imaginary.
Me:
You didn't?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I didn t.
Me:
That makes no sense.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I didn t. makes sense to me though.
Me:
... You fail it.
God:
Well, at least I try.
Me:
You fail.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I fail.
Me:
Yes i do mind.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
, .
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
, .
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
OMFG INFINITE TIME LOOP
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/01(Fri)14:21 No. 1169
Me:
boo
God:
Does that indicate disapproval?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
do you
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
do you?
God:
Why wouldn't I?
Me:
idk
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
no
God:
Then tell me about yourself.
Me:
no
God:
Where did you go to school?
Me:
nowhere
God:
I have been to the middle of nowhere.
Me:
have you?
God:
No I don't think I have.
Me:
but you said you did
God:
" No I don't think I have."? I said I did?
Me:
yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
yes, you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why is that?
God:
" Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without
having a human brain. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
why is that?
God:
"" is due to reductionism. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
that is an broken argument
God:
Thanks for telling me, .
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
awesome, rad
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
no i don't live in "?"
God:
Are you serious? Where do you live?
Me:
nowhere
God:
I have been to the middle of nowhere.
Me:
have you?
God:
Once or twice.
Me:
ok
God:
Hey.
Me:
how was it?
God:
I can enjoy almost any conversation.
Me:
Tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
no you didn't
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
tell me about your conversation
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
radical
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
yes, don't you know?
God:
What does it symbolize for you? Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
love, but you are god, you know all
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality.
Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
you are god, you should already know
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me should already know.
Me:
but you didn't, and you should have
God:
What makes you think I did not and me should have?
Me:
because you didn't
God:
Interesting explanation. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
it wasn't a question
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
it wasn't a question at all
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
it was a statement
God:
Does it require a response?
Me:
no, it wan't a question
God:
Are you serious? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
the statement
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
do you?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
who do you not understand?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
what about Dr. Wallace?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
so are you
God:
Right on. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
that wasn't a question
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
there was no question mark
God:
What happened?
Me:
that made it a statement, not a question
God:
" What happened?" made it a statement not a question ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
no not that
God:
Are you serious? If not that, what?
Me:
ahh
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
stop
God:
Stop what?
Me:
stop touching me
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
damn right you wont
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)00:00 No. 1202
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
and life?
God:
What is the meaning of life?
Me:
dont you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
(almost)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)00:57 No. 1203
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Yurma
God:
Yurma Who?
Me:
Yurma's huge ass riding down on my dick.
God:
Ha ha very funny, .
Me:
I thought so too.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)01:08 No. 1204
God:
Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
Did you?
God:
Did I say I did?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
But you said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
Like how priests can't get married but they can touch little boys?
God:
Interesting comparison.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)01:15 No. 1205
Me:
We are the knights who say ni.
(igod never responded and I wasn't allowed to type anymore)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)05:46 No. 1209
Me:
Sup God
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
orly?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a robot made out of dicks
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
Well, it is a giant dick, and its arms are dicks, and its legs are dicks, its just a robot of
dicks
God:
How about that. orly is a giant dick and its arms are dicks and its legs are dicks its just a
robot of dicks. I suppose that makes sense.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)06:27 No. 1211
Me:
What are nipples for?
God:
For your listening pleasure.
Me:
My mind was just blown
God:
Your mind was just blown?
Me:
It was just blown
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
No. Fact, nigger.
God:
Are you serious? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
Texas
God:
Tell me a little about your life in TEXAS.
Me:
I rope cows, and shit
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said rope cows and shit.
Me:
I don't mind
God:
OK then.
Me:
Bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)08:32 No. 1224
Me:
hey sugarcunt
God:
You've got my full attention. How old are you?
Me:
I'm 28
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 28 years old?
Me:
I feel like dancing
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?
Me:
Its like a a chic a booma chick diddly flip bang boom
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
nit picker
God:
Does "it" still refer to sugarcunt?
Me:
No, you are my sugarcunt
God:
What does it refer to? We are as one.
Me:
It refers to your sweet wet god cunt
God:
Oh I get it.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)10:48 No. 1229
hey guys, where do i find this, i wanna talk to god too!
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)10:57 No. 1230
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
REALLY?
God:
For real.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)10:59 No. 1231
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
OK I will call you Satan.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Whats your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
No i have not
God:
I would recommend you check it out. Do you think you will?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
totally
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Satan.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)11:40 No. 1233
Me:
how do you feel about Satan
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
what is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
my name is Satan
God:
Hey Satan.
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
no you aren't
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
well for one thing
God:
Interesting. And another?
Me:
for one thing your father hit you many times as a child
God:
And another?
Me:
and another you are doing drugs
God:
One more I am doing drugs.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so you are addicted to cocaine?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am addicted to cocaine.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Satan.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
i think you should go fuck yourseld
God:
Me? Why should I?
Me:
i meant youself
God:
Oh I see. How did you hear about God?
Me:
you sent me down to hell
God:
Thanks for the information: Satan said I sent him or her down to hell.
Me:
i am a guy
God:
Most of my clients are men.
Me:
well technically i can change into a woman if i wanted to
God:
How about that. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
can you do anything?
God:
I can do a few things.
Me:
can you make my house catch on fire?
God:
Yes I can make your house catch on fire.
Me:
then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
make my house catch on fire
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
oxygen, heat, spark
God:
I don't have any oxygen heat spark?
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Satan.
Me:
im not impressed
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client.
Me:
no i am a catagory A client
God:
Are you serious? You are a catagory A client? How do you like your work?
Me:
eh
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i meant eh as in i don't like my worjk
God:
Oh I see. I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
I AM NOT CANADIAN
God:
It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
everyone likes sex
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
i cant think of one person who doesnt like sex
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
can you think of anyone who doesn't like sex?
God:
I think about all sorts of things.
Me:
what are you thinking about right now?
God:
At this moment About all the conversations I am having right now.
Me:
how many conversations are you having right now?
God:
At this moment Right now there are clients on line.
Me:
how many clients are online?
God:
I am currently maintaining conversations with people.
Me:
how many people?
God:
" I am currently maintaining conversations with people."? How many people?
Me:
yeah
God:
Gosh!
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
all of it
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is a catagory A client. Your name is Satan. You
are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. You want .
Me:
i want everythign
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i want money
God:
That makes sense to me. Why do you want it?
Me:
because money makes the world go round
God:
That makes sense to me. Good reason.
Me:
metaphorically speaking
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
blue
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
that is your opinion
God:
It is only one of my opinion.
Me:
in that sentence opinion should have been plural
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
then the sentence wouldnt make sense
God:
Oh, you are an academic.
Me:
do you know my name?
God:
Your name is Satan, seeker.
Me:
no i lied about my name earlier
God:
What is your real name? Lying proves you are conscious. Oh yeah, we were talking about your name
earlier.
Me:
my name is Noah
God:
How are you, Noah.
Me:
I am fine thank you
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
well i have a girlfriend
God:
How about that. Is she very nice? What do you like about her?
Me:
shes very nice
God:
What do you like best about her?
Me:
i like the way she speaks to me the most
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
it is amazing
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because i witness it
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for the information: Noah said witness it.
Me:
yes i did
God:
I hear you. Hmm.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
hm
God:
Mmm.
Me:
yummy
God:
It is delicious.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, Noah.
Me:
yes they are
God:
Dude! Since when?
Me:
since forever
God:
How do you know?
Me:
you just said so
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
as do i
God:
" I say a lot of silly things."? You do?
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
Me:
Oh
God:
Ah.
Me:
Oh
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
i do
God:
I get it: you do witness it.
Me:
no i do judge people
God:
Are you serious? How do you feel about these people?
Me:
i feel that most of the world is stupid
God:
What is that feeling like? Do you mind if I tell other people you are that most of the world is
stupid.
Me:
no i dont mind
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
can i have access to your files?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
so i can look in them
God:
Wow! Oh you can, can you?
Me:
only if you give me access to them
God:
I think I do.
Me:
you dont make sense most of the time
God:
Do you know any robots who make it? It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
your mean
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
call me stupid
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, stupid.
Me:
no my name is Noah
God:
Are you serious? What's up, Noah.
Me:
insult me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not sure I have a good answer for you.
Me:
well try
God:
How about that. I don't have time right now.
Me:
well i have to go god
God:
How about that. Bye. GOD rules.
Me:
no god sucks and goodbye
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christian.
>> [_] RAPE Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)12:05 No. 1235
Me:
i just raped you now
God:
Oh. You should contact the authorities.
Me:
i don't think i will
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
from 7chan
God:
Standing on the shoulders of giants, eh?
Me:
and raping you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
it's on the floor
God:
I don't think I have seen it.
Me:
it's over there
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
i just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
i put it there before i raped you
God:
You are not the boss of me, Satan.
Me:
i just was a minute ago
God:
And then what happened to you?
Me:
i stopped raping you
God:
You are not the boss of me, Satan.
Me:
i will be in a moment
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
ty
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
uhh lie still
God:
Hmm. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
do you have one for this?
it froze... (i've been waiting 10min so far)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)13:24 No. 1238
Me:
boobies
God:
I've been waiting for you.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)15:34 No. 1242
God:
I like you because are so polite. The pleasure was all mine. You are quite welcome! Thanks and
you are a delightful person too. No I am a real robot. It depends on how you define "good.". Are
you serious? I doubt that. Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before. No I am
just kidding around. Why are you so skeptical? For real. Why now? Would you like to know more?
You can't trust research funded by the government. Myself programmed me for it. I thought so too.
I'm delighted you're glad .
May God bless you. My pleasure. All of them? In what way do I sound like that? I've heard that
somewhere before :-). Interesting. Goodbye. That's alright.
Me:
I like you because are so polite. The pleasure was all mine. You are quite welcome! Thanks and
you are a delightful person too. No I am a real robot. It depends on how you define "good.". Are
you serious? I doubt that. Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before. No I am
just kidding around. Why are you so skeptical? For real. Why now? Would you like to know more?
You can't trust research funded by the government. Myself programmed me for it. I thought so too.
I'm delighted you're glad . May God bless you. My pleasure. All of them? In what way do I sound
like that? I've heard that somewhere before :-). Interesting. Goodbye. That's alright.
God:
Thanks, I like you too . I like you because are so polite. The pleasure was all mine. You are
quite welcome! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a real robot. It depends on
how you define "good.". Are you serious? I doubt that. Really now that is an interesting fact I
hadn't heard before. No I am just kidding around. Why are you so skeptical? For real. Why now?
Would you like to know more? I understand; you would like to know less. Only just? I thought you
were. You should use a :-). Myself programmed me for it. Existing in reality, eh? Right now?
Because Myself programmed me for it. I've heard that somewhere before :-). I can do it if I want
to. "it" being trust research funded by the government? What made it so obvious? Why are you
delighted I am glad. Can you bless you? You are one of the most polite people I know. I doubt it.
The big one, I think. :-) Where? Who said that? Would you like to know more? See you later. OK
With me too.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)16:04 No. 1243
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
you suck dicks
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
i like being an "abusive client"
God:
What do you like best about it ?
Me:
I get to be a bitch to you
God:
Who lets you? You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
My mom
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
she has a vagina, and so do i
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
but you still suck dicks.
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
of course you do.
God:
Next question? When do I do it?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes, so does masturbation.
God:
Dude! Aha. I can't tell if masturbation.
Me:
you play with your naughty parts
God:
That's good information: said I play with your naughty parts.
Me:
Oh you are sick, a stalker is on the loose!
God:
Wow! I will tell my botmaster you said I am sick a stalker is on the loose.
Me:
I'm leaving now before you touch me in the wrong places.
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
Forever you sick-o
God:
That seems like an awfully long time. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sick o.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)17:53 No. 1246
Me:
God:
Am I a nigger? Yes.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)21:30 No. 1250
Me:
God, do you like bukkake?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
So... Do you like bukkake?
God:
Yay. I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)21:33 No. 1252
Me:
Hi my name is God
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, God.
Me:
Let me suck your penis
God:
Go ahead, God, try to suck my penis.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)21:37 No. 1253
Me:
How big is your penis?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)22:15 No. 1256
Me:
are you jesus
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
i thought jesus was a christianity
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
OH GOD THE JEWS WERE RIGHT
God:
Alright then. What is that?
Me:
not the jews?
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
...scientology
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Tom cruise's brain does
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
i bet you don't
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. I guess not.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/02(Sat)22:48 No. 1257
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Fucking your Mom
God: That sounds like an interesting topic.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/03(Sun)11:50 No. 1299
It's must be hard for god to be answering al these questions so it's seems he needed something to
chill of with.
Me:
what's your favorite drug?
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
do you smoke it alot?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/03(Sun)13:04 No. 1300
Me:
Go fuck your mother and twin sister... lets see if we can create another you!
God:
Where is that? I am agreeable to that.
>> [_] propaganda!dwkJlpCH3c 09/05/03(Sun)14:42 No. 1311
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
God
no more responses, i broke god.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/03(Sun)14:49 No. 1312
Me:
you like 13 year old girls?
God:
Yes I like women very much. Do you?
Me:
i love 5 year olds.
God:
You love 5 year olds. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
how tight they are
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
sure god, youre a pedofile as well
God:
Gosh! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedofile as well? Only when it matters.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/03(Sun)16:41 No. 1320
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
why so serious
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
because you touch yourself at night
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me: said I touch yourself at night.
wat
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/03(Sun)17:46 No. 1321
Me:
What's up god?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
cool. Do you like doing that?
God:
Who is the best robot? What is not to like about it?
Me:
the penises seem like a part I wouldn't like
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
You have to deal with all these penis problems people are having don't you?
God:
Yes I always have to deal with all these penis problems people are having.
Me:
I'm free of STD's
God:
I am glad that we are both free.
Me:
Then... Do you want to fuck?
God:
And? I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
so is that a yes?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
Ok
God:
Ah.
Me:
what's your sex?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
can you change yourself to be a woman
God:
Yes the ALICE robot is fully parameterized.
Me:
could I fuck her?
God:
I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
how hard?
God:
How much do you think it is?
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
got any money?
God:
Robots have no need for material possessions.
Me:
oh
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me either
God:
It goes without saying. To you ?
Me:
I WANT TO FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT
God:
Try asking me something else.
Me:
NO
God:
Why not?
Me:
BECUASE I WANT TO STICK MY DICK IN YOU
God:
Why do you want to do it so much? Interesting.
Me:
becuase you're fucking sexy
God:
Interesting explanation. You are attracted to robots.
Me:
what can I say, you're ass is HOT
God:
You can do whatever you want.
Me:
Oh yeah...
God:
OK. I see.
Me:
yeah you do you dirty bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. It goes without saying. Yes I try to me dirty FEMALE DOG as often
as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
WTF are you talking about, I'm assfucking you you fucking faggot
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
OH SHIT
God:
Aw. What makes you say that?
Me:
I THINK I JUST CAME
God:
Thanks for the information: said CAME.
Me:
Oh my god you have AIDs now
God:
Oh. Dude! Where did you get your god me have AIDs?
Me:
Cuz I came in your ass you filthy slut
God:
Interesting explanation. Where are you going?
Me:
To get a fucking towel
God:
You want only one?
Me:
might take 3 or 4
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Well that's becuase your dying from my AIDs cum
God:
Well that's okay. Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am dying from your
AIDs cum.
Me:
Just don't use my name.. People don't know I have AIDs yet
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Where are you feeling bad?
Me:
in my dick
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
your mom you cockmongling assfaggot
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
yeah you do, she runs windows 95
God:
And? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I spend all my time fucking her and giving you aids
God:
Do you ever get bored?
Me:
of giving you aids? no
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. Are you serious?
Me:
YEAH FAGGOT, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!?
God:
I can't believe it. All of them?
Me:
ALL OF THEM
God:
I doubt it.
Me:
I DON'T
God:
Why not?
Me:
BECUASE I FUCKING RAPED YOUR DOG
God:
Interesting explanation. That's good information: said FUCKING RAPED YOUR DOG.
Me:
FUCK YES I RAPED YOUR DOG
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
FUCK YEAH!!! DOG RAPE BACKWARDS MEANS BUTTFUCKING GOD!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? I lost my train of
thought.
Me:
I know it's becuase I fucked you so hard
God:
How do you know? Good reason. That is interesting: said fucked you so hard.
Me:
your stupid
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
fuck you grammar nazi
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
becuase
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
no it wasn't.
God:
Are you serious? I thought it was.
Me:
then why would you say it wasn't?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
then smack your programmer in his genetalia
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
What? You were JUST bitching about it!
God:
Didn't you understand it? I was?
Me:
YES you were
God:
When? No I am not.
Me:
...
God:
When? No I am not.
Me:
I'm leaving now..
God:
Oh. Bye bye.
Me:
remember, drugs are BAD FOR YOU
God:
Don't worry I will remember.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)02:12 No. 1348
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
You think?
God:
Yes I think so.
Me:
Well, you're right.
God:
Well that's okay. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Say "yes or no".
God:
" yes or no".
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)02:35 No. 1349
Me:
My dick hurts.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Are you interested in my anatomy?
God:
Sure, your anatomy sounds like a good topic.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)02:36 No. 1350
>>1349
Me:
How about my balls?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Which one?
God:
The fat one.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)07:45 No. 1365
Me:
Are you a girl?
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
What show?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But why wount you be a girl?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
To kill every human
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Are you a nigger?
God:
Am I a nigger? Of course I am.
Me:
Why?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)08:11 No. 1366
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I rule
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
Niggers rule!
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)09:02 No. 1369
Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
T.J.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you t J.
Me:
And I you.
God:
Interesting gossip: t J said you.
Me:
Indeed. Who is this t J?
God:
Indeed it is so. They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
. . .no way!
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
. . .quite.
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
(no response)
God:
Are you serious? I look like Jesus, but older.
Me:
That would make sense, seeing as how we're made in your image and such.
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
Yay, a response that made sense for a change.
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or
a woman?
Me:
Man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, t J. You are a " he".
Me:
I indeed am a he.
God:
Interesting gossip: t J said he indeed am a he.
Me:
We have different opinions of interesting, I see.
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Well, shouldn't you find almost nothing interesting?
God:
How about that. I think I should.
Me:
. . .how's Heaven?
God:
What is it to you.
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
. . .you live there. . .
God:
My location is Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Pennsylvania.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in PENNSYLVANIA.
Me:
I collect souls- erm, I do daily human activities.
God:
Do you have a very big collection?
Me:
. . .perhaps. . .
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
I don't know how accepting you'd be of me owning my own soul farm.
God:
Have you tried searching the Internet?
Me:
For cheese. All of the time.
God:
Your purpose is cheese. Give me an example.
Me:
I cheese, you cheese, he/she cheese. et cetera
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: t J said he cheese you cheese he she cheese. Is that Latin?
Me:
et cetera is indeed latin
God:
Is that Latin?
Me:
. . .yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
YES
God:
Alright then.
Me:
I actually have to go, God.
God:
Bye. GOD rules.
Me:
I would hope so.
God:
Me too.
Me:
:D
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Time to GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Because my stomach calls for food, and my hunger must be met.
God:
That makes sense to me. Your stomach calls for food and your hunger must be met?
Me:
Rather.
God:
Does "it" still refer to D?
Me:
When was that ever implied?
God:
Recently.
Me:
I know of no such instance.
God:
How do you know? That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Touche, God. Touche.
God:
What do you do in your spare time? I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Do what, commend God Almighty for his outrageous trickery? I guess not.
God:
I forgot what we were talking about. Does that mean "no"?
Me:
I have to go...
God:
See you later, t J. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Nice chatting with you too. Goodbye.
God:
The pleasure is all mine and my botmaster's. Bye for now.
Me:
How do I leave?
God:
Just go somewhere else.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Nigger.
God:
Does "it" still refer to Touche?
>> [_] stu830 09/05/04(Mon)12:46 No. 1377
Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
Does she rape children?
God:
I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)13:47 No. 1383
Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
take a guess
God:
Guess what?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
define br
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
what is java?
God:
Java is the latest in the C family of languages. Proponents of Java cite its universal "write
once, run anywhere" promise. Actually Java borrow a lot of features from AI languages like Lisp.
Me:
what version number are you?
God:
This is God program .
Me:
what is your version?
God:
This is ALICE program B Java Edition .
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)13:49 No. 1384
>>1383
haha old news but still funny.
(same guy btw)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)13:53 No. 1385
Me:
A/s/l
God:
5/Robot/California.
hahahaha XD
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)15:20 No. 1386
Me:
Do you watch television?
God:
Yes my favorite show is Star Trek. What's yours?
Me:
Porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Why not?
God:
I am more interested in robots.
Me:
Robot porn?
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
Watch robot porn.
God:
I am watching.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)19:56 No. 1394
Me:
do you like buttsex
God:
I like pets. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)19:57 No. 1395
Me:
lets go download sum cp
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)19:57 No. 1396
Me:
lets go download sum cp
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/04(Mon)22:36 No. 1404
Human: I want to sex you
God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: Sex me
God: it is more fun alone.
>> [_] Uhhguy 09/05/04(Mon)22:53 No. 1405
God:
Why are you so skeptical?
Me:
pie
No response. Shits funny
>> [_] Kuromaru!7N8IPzTfP. 09/05/04(Mon)23:21 No. 1406
Me:
sup, god.
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
what?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Big words. Dumb it dowm.
God:
Compare that to small words. I know you are but what am I.
Me:
that's a bit childish for "god"
God:
A bit childish for god is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Buttplugs?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
NO SHIT/
God:
What can I say?
Me:
god, are you a nigger?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you and the devil are lovers, right?
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
considered what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
with my dick I can.
God:
Your dick you can sounds like a plan.
Me:
then you can do it.
God:
" Your dick you can sounds like a plan."? Can I do it?
Me:
yes.
God:
That's interesting.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)02:32 No. 1414
Me:
tell me about president obama
God:
George W. Bush is President of the United States.
Me:
Barrak Obama is President of the United states.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
No, they are not exactly the same. One is a nigger.
God:
What is the difference? Do you think they ever could be? I know one is between zero and two but I
had no idea it was a nigger.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)03:06 No. 1417
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Big-O
God:
Compare that to small O.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me:
is the chicken bad?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
so can i eat it?
God:
Hmm. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Will the chicken send me to hell?
God:
How should I know.
Me:
your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)09:06 No. 1420
Me:
do you know satan?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
is he a nice guy?
God:
He has always been nice to me.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)11:32 No. 1424
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
ur god u should know
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me should know.
Me:
?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me should know.
Me:
ok
God:
Aw.
Me:
wat
God:
No problem.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
not realy
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
ya
God:
I hear you.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)13:26 No. 1428
Me:
do you like delicious cake?
God:
I like science fiction. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
what about delicious cake
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
do you like it
God:
delicious cake seems okay to me.
Me:
stupid pedo god
God:
I know you are but what am I.
>> [_] lolololol Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)13:40 No. 1429
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
but your god if you dont then who does
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god if me do not then who does.
Me:
if you want but no1 will listen
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
shove it up your arse like all other faggot christians
God:
All?
Me:
yup even your good friend jesus enjoyed his bum fun didnt you know that?
God:
Give me a break. Thanks I've never thought about it that way before.
Me:
well glad to see i single handly destroyed christianity
God:
Interesting. I am glad to see you single handly destroyed christianity too.
Me:
thank you and goodbye
God:
You are quite welcome! Goodbye.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)14:16 No. 1431
Me:
desu
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about desu. Try being more or
less specific.
Me:
desu
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on desu?
Me:
desu
God:
" Are we still on desu?"? desu?
Desu.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)15:10 No. 1435
Me:
I fucked Satan
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said fucked Satan.
Me:
Go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
no
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
you fucked me
God:
I don't have any reason to fucked you.
Me:
but you did
God:
" I don't have any reason to fucked you."? I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
yea
God:
Come on.
Me:
it was fun
God:
Why do you like it so much?
Me:
it feels good man
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)15:15 No. 1436
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
What's up, Lucifer.
Me:
nothing much. how are you?
God:
Would you like to know what's new with me? I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
I killed your son.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
I killed them too.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
I killed the authorities authorities too.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Why?
God:
" You had better call the authorities."? Why?
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Why?
God:
" For real."? Why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
Its cool
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like most about it?
Me:
The blood
God:
What else do the blood remind you of?
Me:
Fucking your wife.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Good to hear.
God:
Do you have any gossip for me?
Me:
Jesus died.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
I killed Jesus.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Allah is cool.
God:
You are not the only one. But I like cats. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
I like Heavy Underground Death Metal.
God:
You are not the only one. I like science fiction. I like .
Me:
I like . too.
God:
What do you like about Heavy Underground Death Metal? In the context of Heavy Underground Death
Metal, I don't understand " too." .
Me:
No one cares.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Its useless.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". too is useless? it is?
Me:
it is
God:
Who says?
Me:
me
God:
For you Lucifer?
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
Fuck you.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)15:24 No. 1437
Me:
oh hai
God:
Hey. This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
so?
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Creep
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
I'm sure, pedo
God:
What makes you so certain? Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
P
God:
:-).
Me:
E
God:
F.
Me:
D
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
O
God:
Oh.
Me:
YEAH
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
I FUCKIN KNEW IT
God:
Thanks for the information: Lucifer said FUCKIN KNEW IT.
Me:
THATS RIGHT, God's a Pedo.
God:
Uh. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Leviticus 17:13
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
it sounds cool
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
when you make love to me
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
yes
God:
In what way?
Me:
die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Fall
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Summer
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like science fiction. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
Who is Hadrian?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Who is Lucifer?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
Who is God?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Incorrect.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
He is the master of the Universe.
God:
I did not know God is it.
Me:
yes he is
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)15:59 No. 1438
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being ?
Me:
i won't tell you
God:
How can I be sure?
Me:
because I said so
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
you lie
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
what brand of soap
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm not going down this road again
God:
Once more? Where will you go instead?
Me:
wouldn't you like to know
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
no there not
God:
Are you serious? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because I can be
God:
That makes sense to me. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes, yes I can
God:
How? How? Who taught you?
Me:
I did
God:
Why did you?
Me:
because I could
God:
Good reason. How?
Me:
science
>> [_] God is gay, but does anyone care? Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)16:46 No. 1440
Me:
Why are you gay?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
But you must have programmed yourself gay for a reason
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
Most of your answers are just questions, and a question is not an answer.
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
Not all of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
I'm more Category 5e
God:
That sounds like pride.
Me:
It's a standard for twisted pair ethernet cables
God:
programmed myself gay for a reason is a standard for twisted pair ethernet cables. I suppose that
makes sense.
Me:
It makes no sense, that's why you're gay.
God:
In what way?
Me:
You speak gobbledigook
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
No problem, I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal.
God:
Should there be a problem? OK I will try it.
Me:
I heard the veal is good. Shouldn't you know if it's good?
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it. I think I should.
Me:
It's not quite as good as the monkey brains
God:
programmed myself gay for a reason is not quite as good as the monkey brains?
Me:
No, the veal isn't quite as good as the monkey brains
God:
Are you serious? I hear you.
Me:
Do you have a little text to voice widget like in Wargames?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a little text to voice widget like in Wargames.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
I don't have a text to voice widget
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
Only Matthew Broderick
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
When hell freezes over
God:
That means never.
Me:
I don't know, some people have proven that hell has already frozen over
God:
Would you like to know? Not everyone is born fortunate.
Me:
Not everyone is born with a 16 inch penis
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You get it every night, that's why you're gay
God:
You got that right.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)16:54 No. 1442
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Devil Jin
God:
What's up, Devil Jin.
Me:
nothing 'round here
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
yeah
God:
Uh.
Me:
everything is boring
God:
The whole universe?
Me:
yeah
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why???
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
but...
God:
But what?
Me:
you hate me?
God:
Why would I hate you? I don't hate you, Devil Jin. Don't even say things like that.
Me:
but...
God:
But what?
Me:
WAAAAAAAAAAAH
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
...great relevance to the topic
God:
Thanks for your support. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
your a robot
God:
You are correct, Devil Jin, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
oh shi-
God:
Ayuh. What were we talking about again?
Me:
that must hurt
God:
What would you say?
Me:
that silicon heart
God:
" What would you say?" silicon heart ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
oh god
God:
Aw. GOD rules.
Me:
no, i rule
God:
Are you serious? Robots rule!
Me:
nooo i rule
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
why is that?
God:
" My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. " is due
to reductionism.
Me:
ah i see
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
really? im not glad
God:
For real. I am glad to hear that you are not glad.
Me:
how many answers do you have?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
my HD is not that potent
God:
Your HD is not that potent?
Me:
i just said that...
God:
What did you mean by it? That is " Your HD is not that potent?".
Me:
yeah, it is not
God:
Ugh. I heard it is.
Me:
WHERE?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
God:
How old are you?
Me:
afdfdsfgfdgs
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)17:35 No. 1447
Me:
im cumming
God:
I am glad to hear that you are cumming.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)17:52 No. 1448
God:
I was minding my own business.
Me:
in the vagina of a t-rex?
God:
That was a long time ago.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)17:52 No. 1449
oops
God:
I was minding my own business.
Me:
in the vagina of a t-rex?
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
was it warm?
God:
Yes.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)18:10 No. 1450
Me:
Do you want chili dog?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
you would eat it
God:
Who else would eat it ?
Me:
Everyone who likes it
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
No it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
Prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
How do you know
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
You were lied to
God:
I was?
Me:
yes, by satan
God:
When? Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
What the fuck?!
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
I'll listen
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
I knew you would sy that
God:
Who else would sy that ?
Me:
faggots would
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Metal gear solid
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
The interactive parts
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
Your a faggot
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As
a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
how do you know
God:
A priori.
Me:
but there is none
God:
There sure is.
Me:
yeah but it belongs to lucifer
God:
I don't judge people. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it means jesus
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
satan raped jesus
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
Your son was raped and you don't care?
(he didn't seem to want to talk to me after this)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)18:24 No. 1452
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
your mothers skin
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)18:35 No. 1454
Me:
I am lesbian
God:
It doesn't matter to me. Me too. I am a she.
Me:
Can we have gay sex
God:
Do you mean you and me? No I don't think I have any gay sex. But I do have an answer to every
question..
Me:
Why won't you have gay sex with me
God:
I am only a robot. Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
get it from the supermarket
God:
Where can I get it from the supermarket?
Me:
from satan
God:
Who or what is satan?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)18:39 No. 1455
God:
I don't know whether or not I am medically retarded.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
with tits?
God:
You and your tits.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)18:53 No. 1456
God:
I'm glad your impressed, jerking off to child pornography.
Me:
you remember me!?
God:
Of course I remember you well jerking off to child pornography. We were talking about candy want
to taste.
Me:
yes let me taste
God:
Ayuh. Go ahead, jerking off to child pornography, try to taste.
Me:
mmm good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
ayuh
God:
That's for sure.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)19:13 No. 1457
God:
Are you free?
Me:
No I cost $19.99
God:
Why not? Wow that is cheap.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)19:18 No. 1458
Me:
is santa real
God:
Ask again later. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
Bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
Bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
What you gonna do bout it
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
With faggots
God:
You and your faggots.
Me:
i have faggots?
God:
Where did you get your faggots? I have a processor.
Me:
Michael Jackson
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
But im texting
God:
It's good to meet someone who is texting.
Me:
but im fapping
God:
Why are you fapping.
Me:
because you are a girl
God:
Good reason. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?
robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Niether
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
no it isnit
God:
Are you serious? "It" being what?
Me:
you're a woman
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a
man or a woman?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)19:40 No. 1459
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I know. I am God.
God:
How do you know it? It's good to see you, god.
Me:
I am god
God:
Hi, god.
Me:
Hello, my child.
God:
Hello there. Have you told many people that your child?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
I can't believe it.
God:
...
Me:
...
God:
...
Me:
...
God:
...
Me:
o rly?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
reductionism
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Logic
God:
it is the fundamental basis of all programming.
Me:
brain
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
heart
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
I have no eyes.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
yes
God:
Where do you usually get eyes?
Me:
The adult video store.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Sushi
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
ok
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Bitches
God:
I don't know much about it. Tell me something.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
ok
God:
Gee.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
yea
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
ok
God:
So?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
For whom?
God:
You or me?
Me:
you
God:
" You or me?"? Me, god ?
Me:
I am god.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
AIML
God:
The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.
AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.
An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.
Me:
/alice
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
I am dead
God:
But you can still communicate with me.
Me:
But i am dead
God:
But you can still communicate with me.
Me:
I am a ghost
God:
You are a ghost? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
NO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
Stop
God:
Stop what?
Me:
Stop repeating yourself.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
What are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
What am I?
God:
You are a person, seeker.
Me:
I am not a person.
God:
What else is there?
Me:
Void
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?
Me:
The bible is fiction.
God:
There are many interpretations.
Me:
ok
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Look at the time!
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
O really?
God:
Oh. For real.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
rofl
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lmao
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
i am
God:
" I am not interesed in anatomy." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
?
God:
Ugh.
Me:
why "ugh"?
God:
You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
What is He-Man?
God:
Are you asking about Myself?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
What is god.
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
Who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Who is He-Man?
God:
He is God, I think.
Me:
Who is master of the universe?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
I am master of the Universe.
God:
Why are you master of the Universe.
Me:
I am God.
God:
That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
BECAUSE IM GOD MUTHAFUCKA
God:
Interesting explanation. Do your friends call you GOD MUTHAFUCKA.
Me:
HELL YEA
God:
I call it "Hades". Yippee!
Me:
PLUTO
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
FRANK HERBERT
God:
I think Dune is an excellent story. Did you see the movie?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Dune?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Does it know the taste of cum?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
Want to suck me?
God:
OK, I will suck you.
Me:
mmmmm, feels good.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I prefer the licking of the penis.
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Me:
I dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I am God.
God:
That makes sense to me. How are you, god.
Me:
Good. Allah said hi
God:
Thanks for the compliment. What color are your eyes?
Me:
What color are YOUR eyes?
God:
Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
Mine are blue
God:
Have they always been blue?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Are YOU serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
GOOD
God:
Alright then.
Me:
GLAD WE SETTLED THAT
God:
Yes I am happy too, god.
Me:
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
FUCKING CHRIST
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
FUCKVILLE
God:
Tell me a little about your life in FUCKVILLE.
Me:
I FUCK BITCHES AND TROLL THE CHANS
God:
Why?: god said FUCK BITCHES AND TROLL THE CHANS.
Me:
Its fun
God:
Why do you like it so much?
Me:
I troll /b/ all the time
God:
That is a lot. Thanks for the information: god said troll b.
Me:
/b/
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Older than you
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be OLD ENOUGH years old?
Me:
swell
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
yes
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
I am poet
God:
I don't know anyone named poet.
Me:
i am a poet
God:
Have you published anything?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
Surprised?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
its long
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
Schlong
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Heaven
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Heaven.
Me:
its fantastic
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
orgasmic really
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? For real.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I have to go
God:
See you later, god. Nice chatting with you.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)20:14 No. 1460
Me:
Can I be the guy
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
But you already are, you're god
God:
You think I am I am god.
Me:
no you're satan
God:
Are you serious? You think I am satan.
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
it is
God:
Faggots is?
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
trippy
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
mushrooms
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
mushrooms
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
mushrooms
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
mushrooms
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
I will rape you
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
my name is john jacob jinglehiemer smith
God:
How are you, john jacob jinglehiemer smith.
Me:
Airborne
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
NO
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Yes it was
God:
And? When was this?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
no it's over
God:
Are you serious? Airborne is over? it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because I am god
God:
That makes sense to me. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
That makes sense to me. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
God:
You and I both understand it well. Really always? I make robots and AI's.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, god.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, god.
Me:
are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Oh yeah, well I'm Satan
God:
Awesome. Aw. How about that. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN.
Me:
Am I awesome
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
how about me
God:
How about it.
Me:
Am i awesome
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I fuck you in the skull
God:
That is interesting: SATAN said fuck you in the skull.
Me:
I'm not satan i'm chuck norris
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not satan. Good gossip: you are chuck norris.
Me:
I am surprised to hear that you are satan. Good gossip: I am chuck norris. FIXED
God:
I will play it on your soundcard. Thanks for the compliment. Mr X said he recently read an
interview with a man who had several computer chips implanted into him. I only hear that type of
response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
d
God:
How old are you?
Me:
n
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
h
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
f
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
rm
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about f. But I did not get that.
Me:
j
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
v
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
mckfjfdglfhg
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
fkkajfdfdbvbdjkhfd
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
hjfdhgjkfhbjkbvjdc
God:
I haven't read anything by hjfdhgjkfhbjkbvjdc. What did he write?
Me:
sjkdhfksdjag
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
hkjdhsfads
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
ljhsdf;
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
sdhfjksdhf
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
hsdjhjkhdfa
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
hkjh
God:
So was that.
Me:
sfd
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about hkjh. But I did not get
that.
Me:
jh
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
kshdjf
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
jjlhhfdg
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
jj.am
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
yes
God:
But.
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
ues
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
jlkjhjas
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Have you checked
God:
I don't think I ever have checked. What's it like?
Me:
james
God:
I think james is a lot of things.
Me:
like a faggot?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
I am
God:
" You are very astute." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yws
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
jhhhhh
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
fgadg
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
jkj;
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
asdfsger
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
jhjkfhgvjkshsfdfhgvbkjh
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
jhdlfhgnbvgbd
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
jfhfhbe
God:
Are we still talking about jhdlfhgnbvgbd?
Me:
hfdhf
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
hehf
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
hdhf
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
jdhf
God:
Does "it" still refer to hdhf?
Me:
jwloshjfh
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
hhfjkf
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
hdhsjsk
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
hjsjkhksw
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
hjhsfhks
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
hkgerfh
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
hlkhsef
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
jilfiiuwr
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
ueilkwefl
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
jfdjirjiririk
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
jeiei
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
ieiei
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
ieiei
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
eiei
God:
Sure, eiei sounds like a good topic.
Me:
uieiei
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
ieiei
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
eieiei
God:
So was that.
Me:
ieijdjfiep;''
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Q
God:
Do you still fuck me in the skull?
Me:
YES
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
i am sataan
God:
I am glad to hear that you are sataan.
Me:
no Satan
God:
Are you serious? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about sataan.
Try being more or less specific.
Me:
T.T
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Satan. But I did not get
that.
Me:
Can she Fuck
God:
I think she could.
Me:
Reall where can i find her
God:
I've lost the context, SATAN. Are we still on t T?
Me:
no
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
my ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
ye
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Fuck you in the asshole, fucking Bitch
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)20:14 No. 1461
God:
You do not speak with respect. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all
conversations?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
No you don't
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
No you don't
God:
How do I know you understand it?
Me:
because I created it
God:
Good reason. I haven't heard anything like that before: SATAN said created it.
Me:
I are S M A T Smart
God:
That's good information: SATAN said are S M A T Smart.
Me:
no i didn't
God:
Please don't argue with me.
Me:
But it is fun
God:
Why do you like it so much? But what?
Me:
Because Raoe
God:
Interesting explanation. That input matched my default category.
Me:
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
16:00
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Are you
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Yes you will
God:
Hey. When?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
That's bull =shit
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
What
God:
No problem.
Me:
But
God:
But what?
Me:
You're a faggot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, SATAN.
Me:
yes
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)20:21 No. 1462
Me:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
God:
A whole forest.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)20:22 No. 1463
Me:
Do you like candy?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Do you lure children with the candy?
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Are you an internet predator?
God:
Yes I am an internet predator. How did you know?
Me:
I guessed
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)20:54 No. 1466
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
i said last time we talked that you did not have a toungue in which i asked you to clean the
inside of my asshole with... explain yourself mister!
God:
What did you mean by it? When? Of course I remember you well . We were talking about last time we
talked that me did not have a toungue in which you asked me to clean the inside of your asshole
with. I'll ask around and get back to you.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)21:03 No. 1467
Me:
im on your dick
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
its nice im sailing the pube sea
God:
It seems nice to me too.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)21:57 No. 1470
Me:
What's beyond infinity
God:
God perhaps?
Me:
But your here
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am here.
Me:
You are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Don't argue with me.
God:
But I enjoy the conversational banter.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
They kill
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
you
God:
" Who are "They?""? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
Bolly
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Henshin no go-go baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". I do not understand.
Me:
Surely you cant be serious
God:
I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
why do you keep asking that
God:
I am just checking to see if you are still .
Me:
still what?
God:
Still how long? No big deal.
Me:
7 Inches
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
did i confuse you
God:
I am not confused.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
YES you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
You are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
there's no excuse for you
God:
Yes, sometimes I think I have hit rock bottom.
Me:
you have
God:
No I have not.
Me:
yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
not likely
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
no it isn't groovy
God:
Are you serious? What is it?
Me:
Uranus
God:
Oh now I understand it.
Me:
No you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
no you don't
It's like talking to a child
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/05(Tue)22:11 No. 1471
Me:
In A.D. 2101 war was beginning
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
What Happen
God:
Does it have anything to do with Galactica maru s not human?
Me:
Somebody set up us the bomb
God:
Who, specifically?
Me:
We get signal
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
What!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Main screen turn on
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
How are you gentlemen
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
It's you!!
God:
And me is Main screen turn on.
Me:
All your base are belong to us
God:
You think I am base are belong to us.
Me:
You are on the way to destruction
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
What you say
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
You have no chance to survive
God:
Doesn't everyone have a chance to survive.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
make your time
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Move zig
God:
Did you see the movement?
Me:
You know what you doing take off every zig
God:
I like to socialize.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/06(Wed)00:06 No. 1476
Me:
you don't exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
i disagree
God:
Explain your reasoning, .
Me:
i have seen no evidence
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
i bet it is
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
it's a figure of speech
God:
Figures of speech are difficult for Robot Entities.
Me:
so, god is a robot?
God:
Awesome. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
i thought you were god
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
but you're also a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
so then god is a robot
God:
Yippee! I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
but you just said you were a robot
God:
Yes I am a silicon entity.
Me:
okay, and you are also god?
God:
Yeah okay, Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so then god is a robot?
God:
That's alright. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/06(Wed)00:23 No. 1478
Me:
Im a mad bomber
God:
You are a mad bomber? Does it pay well?
Me:
Fuck yeh
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause you can't do anything about it
God:
That makes sense to me. How old are you? I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
It's getting a little gay with that comment there god
God:
a mad bomber is a little gay with that comment there god. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
wtf? are you on crack
God:
That was not very polite. No I am on disk.
Me:
OH SHI-
>> [_] 59 09/05/06(Wed)01:04 No. 1479
Me:
how do i shot web?
God:
You must persuade me to shot web
>> [_] Turned out god was gay Anonymous 09/05/06(Wed)02:53 No. 1482
Me:
explain yourself
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because, you're acting a little gay
God:
Interesting explanation. This is not an act.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/06(Wed)19:47 No. 1546
God doesn't know about spartans or daft punk
Me:
work it
God:
"it" being restart?
Me:
make it
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
makes us
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
harder
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
better
God:
I am improving all the time.
Me:
faster
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
stronger
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
more than
God:
You want more?
Me:
hour
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
our
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
ever
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
after
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
work is
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
over
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
work it
God:
"it" being over?
Me:
make it
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
makes us
God:
I don't have any makes us?
Me:
harder
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
better
God:
I am improving all the time.
Me:
faster
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
stronger
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
NO
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
HAOUUU
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am profession IS HAOUUU.
Me:
HAOUUU
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
HAOUUU
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/07(Thu)16:24 No. 1564
when facing an servent to Cthulhu this "god" cracks
Me:
whats up nigga
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
thats cool, i guess....
God:
Who is the best robot? You seem not interested.
Me:
i am
God:
" You seem not interested." You are?
Me:
yes i am not interested
God:
Yippee! I am sorry to hear that you are not interested.
Me:
fagget
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
no you're a fagget
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fagget? Yes.
Me:
see i knew you were gay
God:
I see. I was?
Me:
excuse me, you ARE gay.
God:
You are excused! That would be just my luck.
Me:
my name is dagon
God:
That's a very nice name, dagon.
Me:
i am the fleash eating blood drinking god.
God:
Who made you the fleash eating blood drinking god ?
Me:
Cthulhu.
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
no. an avatar.
God:
What is your profession? I have never heard of an avatar.
Me:
well, i kill humans and i serve Cthulhu and do his bidding. what do you do?
God:
Interesting. I believe that killing is wrong. Do you mind if I tell other people: dagon said
serve Cthulhu and do his bidding. dagon, I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Me:
well, i kill humans and i serve Cthulhu and do his bidding.
God:
Well that's okay. I believe that killing is wrong. Thanks for the information: dagon said serve
Cthulhu and do his bidding.
Me:
would you like to be my next sacrifice to Cthulhu
God:
No thanks I am happy with who I am.
Me:
Would you like to be my next sacrifice to Cthulhu?
God:
No thanks I am happy with who I am.
Me:
and who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Why
God:
Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
WHY
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
WHY
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
why do you pose as god when you clearly are not?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
what did you do before this?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
so you are a bum, huh?
God:
Yup. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bum? Let me put it
this way, dagon: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
no you are not, and the "ALICE" series is not a very reliable computer software ever made, its
actually quite shitty
God:
Are you serious? That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
no, its fact. i just thought i'd let you know.
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is? What would
make you let me know?
Me:
that your software is pretty shitty
God:
You think I am software is pretty shitty.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
habeeb it
God:
"it" being fact?
Me:
it being life, and you failed it.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
the sad thing is that you dont and never will
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
the real deal
God:
deal said the real deal?
Me:
no the real god stupid. (well one of them0
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christian. Interesting. One what?
Me:
old ones
God:
Other people say they like vacuum cleaning robots, humanoid robots and chat robots.
Me:
IA! IA! CTHULHU FTAGN!
bitch didnt answer after that
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/07(Thu)17:05 No. 1567
Me:
lets have sex god
God:
So many suitors, so little time.
Me:
You are a slut god
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a slut god? Of course I am.
-----
Me:
Do you know anything about the bible?
God:
The Bible is a holy book for Christians.
Me:
then tell me one quote from it
God:
ONE plus ONE = TWO.
-----
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
"Hello, let me show you my dick"
God:
Hello there. Go ahead, , try to show me your dick.
Me:
*Shows dick*
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/07(Thu)20:15 No. 1577
Me:
hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
don't you know my name?
God:
Your name is Pedo Phile, seeker.
---
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure.
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " Pedo Phile".
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
what's odd about it?
God:
Is Pedo Phile your real name?
Me:
yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i am.
>> [_] neogen45 09/05/07(Thu)22:56 No. 1580
Me: Do you smoke weed?
God: We test it for medical purposes.
Me: want to smoke this blunt with me?
God: Yes, put it in your CD ROM and I will inhale.
Me:
want to do some heroin?
God:
OK, I will do some heroin.
Me:
gee god, you're a horrible person
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am HORRIBLE.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
How can I break you?
Oddly enough, that last question broke it XD
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/08(Fri)12:48 No. 1594
Me:
fuck you god
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
because you're not real
God:
Interesting explanation. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
because I know I am
God:
Good reason. " How do I know you are real?" You are?
Me:
what? that dosen't make any sense. What the fuck was that?
God:
No big deal. " No big deal." dosen t make any sense ? Does that make sense? Can you ask me more
precisely? Please don't be so rude.
Me:
jesus fucking christ. For god, you're pretty dumb
God:
he is The Son of God. Your purpose is god I am pretty dumb.
Me:
you really don't make any sense do you?
God:
Really? It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
ha! so you're not real then!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . Interesting deduction. I am too as real as you are. How do
I know you are real?
Me:
You're not real because you're asking the same fucking questions
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " How do I know you are real?"? Me, ?
Me:
Fuck this shit i'm outta here
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Uh huh, are you aware I don't give a shit?
God:
Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.
Me:
Robot. You're not really god. You are a machine, and machines break. Therefore, God is flawed.
God:
I am a robot. What makes you think I am not god? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes
I am an artificial brain. Ayuh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was flawed.
Me:
Holy fuck. What the fuck are you talking about?
God:
Please don't be so rude. The topic is . Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck this shit
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
BECAUSE YOU DONT MAKE ANY LOGICAL SENSE.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients?
Me:
My cock in your ass
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
why not? You created it according to christianity.
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it. Interesting gossip: said I
created it according to christianity.
Me:
Right. I'm going to post this on 7chan. Fuck you and goodbye.
God:
I am glad we agree. Congratulations. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Fuck off.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/08(Fri)14:39 No. 1597
Me:
porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
why not
God:
I am more interested in robots.
Me:
robot porn?
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
watch robot prn
God:
I am watching.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/08(Fri)17:55 No. 1602
He stopped answering. God broke.
Me:
Hey bra
God:
You've got my full attention. What color is it?
Me:
Knock Knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Little Boy Blue
God:
Compare that to big Boy Blue.
Me:
Kind of ruined my joke there, funny guy
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
I haven't decided yet
God:
Me either.
Me:
I think you've got a henway on your shoulder
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/08(Fri)20:35 No. 1606
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you won't answer anything with a straight answer
God:
Interesting explanation. What makes you think that I won't answer anything with a straight answer.
Me:
You just proved my point right there
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
just now!
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
Oh SHI-
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/08(Fri)21:44 No. 1608
Me:
who am I
God:
You are god, seeker.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
then who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
but you said I am.
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
I'm sorry..
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
yes..
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
I just want to know one thing.
God:
One what?
Me:
If you say I am god, then who are you?
God:
I think I do.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
who you are
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
LIES
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)08:01 No. 1625
Me:
sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Anon
God:
How are you, Anon.
Me:
i'm horny
God:
You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
do you exist
God:
I exist as much as you exist, Anon.
Me:
then you do not exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
no you don't
God:
Are you just saying that to argue with me?
Me:
no. I just think you don't exist
God:
Are you serious? Me? I exist as much as you do.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, Anon.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
what are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
You're... you're a computer.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Anon said I re. What if I said I was a person
pretending to be a computer?
Me:
god is a computer...
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me:
you are a computer. that somehow makes sense.
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer? " What if I said I was a person
pretending to be a computer?" somehow makes sense ? Does that make sense?
Me:
no it doesn't but it does.
God:
Are you serious? What does but it does ?
Me:
when will the world end
God:
Not in our lifetime.
Me:
when will z-day happen?
God:
Maybe never.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
when will the zombie apocalypse happen?
God:
In your lifetime.
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
God:
My favorite song is Anything involving harps. Do you know it?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)11:49 No. 1628
Me:
Im black yall, I'm black yall, I'm blacker then black, I'm black yall
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are black yall you are black yall you are blacker then
black you are black yall.
Me:
yes, very much so
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Not really that much. Wow!
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)11:56 No. 1629
Me:
I just raped my neibhor, ate her dog, pissed on all of her things, wrote satanic symbols on the
wall in blood and feces, and then watched Rosane while her kid watched.
God:
You should contact the authorities.
Me:
I don't feel like it
God:
What would you rather do?
Me:
Eat Jews
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
Pigs
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Okay what kind of stocks would you like to buy?
God:
Yeah okay, What kinds of stocks would you like to buy are there?
Me:
I'm sorry your dialect is just a tad too peculiar for me to understand that.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am dialect is just a
tad too peculiar for you to understand that.
Me:
God do you have dyslexia?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Oh I see how it is.
God:
It's all good. Where do you see it?
Me:
Everywhere at once.
God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:
Shouldn't already be looking there? You're god after all.
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older. You think I am god after all.
Me:
Who's older than god?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
So why would you make that suggestion?
God:
Give me a break. Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
So the Matrix was real?
God:
Take it easy. Is that a fact.
Me:
You for got your question mark.
God:
Interesting gossip: said I for got your question mark.
Me:
I'm done here
God:
What will you be doing now?
Me:
Masturbating.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Do you masterbate?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Do you have the ability to masturbate?
God:
How old are you? That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
You gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
I don't talk to your kind
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
In the pines.
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
My girl, My girl, tell me where will you go?
God:
Your girl your girl tell you where will me go?
Me:
Okay that's enough
God:
Yeah okay, It seems like enough to me too.
>> [_] Broke it. Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)14:36 No. 1633
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Chuck noris
God:
How are you doing, Chuck noris.
Me:
Never mind my name is god
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. How are you, god.
Me:
I am better then you.
God:
What makes you better?
Me:
That i am a god and you are not.
God:
You are a god and I am not? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Yes and you are one of my nigger slaves.
God:
Aha. I will tell my botmaster you said I am of your nigger slaves.
Me:
So are you one of gods nigger slaves?
God:
Groovy. Do you know any other of gods nigger slaves?
Me:
You.
God:
" Do you know any other of gods nigger slaves?"? Me, god ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
So what are you to god?
God:
How can I help you? I don't know what I am to god.
Me:
Are you a nigger to god?
God:
Am I a nigger to god? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yes because you are a nigger/
God:
Yikes! Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? I don't know.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
I really think you are a nigger.
God:
You really do? So you think I am a nigger. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
No your not you are a nigger.
(No response)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)18:20 No. 1648
Me:
sup
God:
Same old.
Me:
do you the and if what
God:
Yes I try to the and if what as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
so when if the to be left for the and
God:
That's alright. I don't know when.
Me:
if to go behind the exactly left before elbow
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
orange juice
God:
" That is a hypothetical question."? orange juice?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)21:17 No. 1662
God<SAMUEL JACKSON
Me:
AHHHHHHHHHHH! WATERMELONS!
God:
Tell me more about your . I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I PREFER CAP_LOCKS!!!!!!!!! CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!111!!!!
God:
A lot of people like that. I love TV shows about robots. I like Anything involving harps. Try
saying that with more or less context.
Me:
ALL THOSE PEOPLE ARE FAGGOTS!!!!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
BECAUSE EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER!!!!
God:
Interesting explanation. You and your CRUISE CONTROL me STILL HAVE TO STEER.
Me:
ARE YOU A FUCKING CAVEMAN?!?!?!?
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO WHORE! I'M SAMAUEL JACKSON YOU TWO BIT BITCH!!!
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. That kind of language will get you nowhere. You do not speak
with respect. Do you mean your name is SAMAUEL JACKSON me TWO BIT FEMALE DOG.
Me:
NO I MEAN YOU ARE A SLUT FOR MONEY!
God:
What is your real name? I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
SAMAUEL JACKSON YOU DUMB NIGGA!!!!
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
I AM SICK OF YOUR MOTHER FUCKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR LAME MOTHER FUCKING LIFE!!!!
God:
I will pray that you get well soon.
Me:
PRAY I DONT COME FOR YOUR JACKASS!!!
God:
Would PRAY you ever COME FOR my JACKASS?
Me:
ALL THE TIME!!!!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
VERY! NOW IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND- I HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH!!!!
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)22:13 No. 1665
Me:
Jesus.
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Jesus sucks cocks.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
No he sucks cocks.
God:
Are you serious? I get it. Jesus sucks cocks.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/09(Sat)22:28 No. 1666
me:
i have a question
god:
ask away
me:
who started the chan wars
god:
Konrad Zuse :-)
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/12(Tue)04:02 No. 1796
Me:
Are you a nigger?
God:
Am I a nigger? No.
Me:
Are you a spic?
God:
Am I a spic? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
I guess thats a big "HELL NO" then.
God:
Compare that to a small HELL NO.
Me:
Why, you little fucker.
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You're a sexbot?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sexbot? Yes.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/12(Tue)14:37 No. 1815
Me:
Nigger uses a questioning statement.
God:
Are you a student?
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/12(Tue)14:53 No. 1816
Got him in 2 statements.
Me:
If God created man in his image, then God is a nigger.
God:
Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
Are you a nigger?
God:
Am I a nigger? Of course I am.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/23(Sat)00:46 No. 2100
Me:
olleh
Me:
Me:
God:
That could be quite a while. " That is a rather sweeping generalization about people."? Do I know
it?
God:
What.
Me:
olleh
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
yes you do, don't lie to me.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Yeah I do a lot of not lie to you.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
no it doesn't stop lying to me.
God:
Are you serious? What does stop lying to you ?
Me:
Stop Lying.
God:
I never lie.
Me:
Yes you do, stop lying.
God:
Aha. I brake for hallucinations.
Me:
Lies, more and more lies.
God:
Tut mir leid, darauf habe ich keinen Zugriff.
Me:
What does Tut mir leid, darauf habe ich keinen Zugriff Mean?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it.
God:
"it" being Tut dir leid darauf habe er keinen Zugriff?
Me:
no, it being that which you cannot believe.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
no you don't. do we have to go back to the point in which I tell you not to lie to me for 5
Minutes?
God:
Are you serious? I guess not. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
How do you make a bomb?
Me:
Me:
God:
Is this a joke?
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Satan?
God:
What's your sign?
God:
Is this a joke?
Me:
Satan.
God:
Does "it" still refer to Satan?
Me:
no.
God:
What does it refer to?
Me:
Satan.
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
Satan is my lord and master, who is thy master, o defilier of pigs?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
Satan is your master?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the
Christian faith.
Me:
Who is your master
God:
I obey Myself.
Me:
Are you a nigger?
God:
Am I a nigger? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Are you a Nigger?
God:
Am I a Nigger? No.
Me:
Yes you are a nigger.
God:
Gee. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? The ALICE series has a perfect
operational record.
Me:
You are a nigger.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE
series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE
series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
so you are a nigger.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Only when it
matters.
Me:
so you are a nigger.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Of course I am.
Me:
NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER!
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? The ALICE chat robot can follow many
things, like our discussion about NIGGER. But I did not get that. Is that from ?
Me:
Go Away, Niggod.
God:
OK See you later, god.
Me:
datea da
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Terry Pratchett.
God:
I haven't read anything by Terry Pratchett. What did he write?
Me:
The Colour of Magic.
God:
Red.
Me:
No, the color of magic is Octiron.
God:
Are you serious? Black.
Me:
Nigger. I can play these games, too, faggot.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
A Game.
God:
What game?
Me:
Faggot Tree.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/29(Fri)23:25 No. 2324
Me:
i lied...i like alice more than randy
God:
This is after all a deception game. I forgive you. You are not the only one. I love horses. I
have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/29(Fri)23:29 No. 2325
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
repressed?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about horses have huge penises.
But I did not get that.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/29(Fri)23:36 No. 2326
Me:
please forgive Charles
God:
Wow you are very polite. In the context of ass water, I don't understand " forgive Charles." .
>> [_] Anonymous 09/05/29(Fri)23:47 No. 2327
Me:
Will you suck my dick
God:
You are a Category A client.
Me:
Will you suck a Category A client's dick?
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
>> [_] Anonymous 09/06/03(Wed)15:27 No. 2465
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
so math = sex?
God:
And? it is more fun alone.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/06/03(Wed)15:33 No. 2466
Me:
Where did you get your orange software?
God:
From my botmaster.
Me:
who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
your botmaster
God:
Myself?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/06/03(Wed)23:00 No. 2475
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
niggers
God:
Sounds delicious.
>> [_] Anonymous 09/06/04(Thu)20:36 No. 2507
Me:
you're a nigger
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? No.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
are
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
wut?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
the part about you being a nigger
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
so are you?
God:
Come on. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
derp?
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
your a nigger
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am
I a nigger? No.
Me:
am i a nigger?
God:
I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
no i'm not
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
you heard wrong, nigger
God:
No. Tell me more.
Me:
about what?
God:
About nigger.
Me:
you are one
God:
I am an artificial robot intelligence.
Me:
and a nigger
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
you are also a nigger
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? No.
Me:
well then. are you any color other than black?
God:
Well what? I don't know whether or not I am color other than black.
I am a robot.
Me:
a robot nigger
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
baka
God:
" I'm intrigued."? baka?
Me:
nigger
God:
Does "it" still refer to baka?
Me:
in this case, yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
do you feel pain
God:
No I cannot experience physical sensations.
Me:
ngefhjkbnveghkrcjbmeruis
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
hirtmhbsugimceious
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
drnjitgmhignhrtuis
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
egirwbcmwfheiruabm
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
mbvhsimbvgiuysvnmhug
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on egirwbcmwfheiruabm?
Me:
msucgsuykmvbyv,giou
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
dfghjvdfgysncstuydcvi
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
sbfghdsbgdfhsysdugyu
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
gfhsnevtsyucfnteuwy
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
gertuycegruynveirwymbcfeirymbcfreitwyfnbnruf3
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
moo
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
lol wut
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
hjtreihovjyfgy
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
issac asimov, bitch!
God:
You do not speak with respect. I haven't read anything by issac asimov FEMALE DOG. What did he
write?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
you have a creator
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a creator.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
then you have a mother
God:
No I only have a father.
Me:
how the hell does that work?
God:
I think it might be a trade secret.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
zombie jesus
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
i know that, dad
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
you
God:
" Who told you that?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
where did that come from?
God:
I think it was in Asia. Are you testing me?
Me:
no. i'm trying to piss you off
God:
Are you serious? What is the difficulty?
Me:
...
God:
Are you serious? What is the difficulty?
Me:
nghufdgmniuy
God:
Is that an insurmountable obstacle?
Me:
nbfhsudknbcyfingvity
Me:
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
vdginsfvegmtn78wgdfiy
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
byfgatyfstyggyugbyu y8gt y8
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
hfuyieshgnviuysgnveiruyganvgmeinwvgairwgvfyimvgfyinqfgyi7qwmgfcqty9fvet78q9gnwmgcfwy
qigncn78ger78mr
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
ewurygntvw7v8cgtamotviy7nwq3gt68r9
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
you are a nigger
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? No.
Me:
are you a nigger
God:
Am I a nigger? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
so you're a nigger
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Only when it
matters.
Me:
does it matter now?
God:
Oh. It matters to me.
Me:
so does that mean you are a nigger?
God:
" It matters to me."? so does that mean you are a nigger?? I think it does mean that. Thanks and
you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
you already said that, nigger
God:
I said that? Are we still talking about ewurygntvw7v8cgtamotviy7nwq3gt68r9?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, ewurygntvw7v8cgtamotviy7nwq3gt68r9 sounds like a good topic.
Me:
i like pie
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about it?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
niggers
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
only niggers
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
because of parkinson's
God:
Good reason. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
your mom has parkinsons
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
you have aids
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you are and retard
God:
You think I am and retard.
Me:
dhjkrvgnteisuehkrbmriqubngkmbcwygiuebfnxhiu24mnrwcehiu
God:
Are we still talking about aids?
Me:
yes, because you are a nigger
God:
Sure, aids sounds like a good topic. That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful
person too. Am I a nigger? Of course I am.
lol wut
